In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Monday, December 31, 2007


"Graduation (Friends Forever)"

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

[Chorus] - As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

[Repeat Chorus]

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

[Repeat Chorus x3]

what the freak, i typed some stuff and it's all gone, cant be bothered to re-type it. main point is:
Happy New Year!



-still cant believe that you wont be around anymore


okay today was spent sleeping in, then going to beach road just to pass SOMEBODY a miserable 2 zig markers, they had better use it lor... then met up for my cookie (like finally!:D) then spent the evening with pri sch mates, and the first 33 mins of 2008. not a bad day lah.

will go cycling with family tmr, then spent the rest of the day studying math T.T

quite looking forward to school xD sorry, i know this is a crime, but i sorta miss seeing everyone, and my brain's dying from lack of use (i've forgotten everything, bio, chem, physics, math, EVERYTHING! D:)

hope this year wont be as short as last year (i can remember everything that happened in 2007!) Wales was fun, Hong Kong, Malacca and Cambodia! arghhh!!! i want tioman next year!!!!! i remember orientation07, psc, icyl, the decisions of whether to continue a second term and how much i want to commit and to whom, and everything. and i dno, i guess i kinda of like what i got in the end, though it may not be the most prestigious or anything, but it's what it means to me that counts right? and odac means a lot to me. :/ ah wells, i accept anything that comes my way, so i'm satisfied and counting my blessings everyday.

each night before i sleep, i thank the Lord for all that i have, cos i think i am indeed, very lucky.



Happy New Year to the kids in Cambodia and Thailand!

i really miss the little kids :(


ohh! the post i wrote before wasnt deleted :D

"
Happy New Year to all(:

2008's finally here... actually i can hardly imagine how this year would be like, cos it'll be very different. but it'll prob be as short as 2007 was, time flies really fast.

so i spent the first 33 mins of the new year with my pri sch mates, quite funny. cos they are all quite retardly funny xD

going cycling with my family tmr, then back to studying for MATH T.T

quite looking forward to the new school year, cos there's orientation!(:

and so many sec 1s i sorta know (like friend's sister, mom's friend's daughter, tuition teacher's students etc) going to rgs this year, though i cant recognise any..."



Sunday, December 30, 2007

i'm so used to sleeping late now, that when my mom says she's going to sleep at 12 midnight, i tot it was still early, until i looked at the clock...
which is bad, cos sch's starting in a miserable 2 days' time... and i need my sleep... cos i wanna grow taller!

there are so many emails everyday (some, or maybe most of it's spam) that right now i'm very confused, about everything and anything. nearly. sigh:/

i foresee my last 2 days of holiday being spent not very enjoyably.

first month of next year's going to be crazy. and if, most most most unfortunately (okay maybe fortunately, in some sense) i am in OSL Vietnam, then the first 3 month's going to be crazy.

i dont believe OSL can actually be held in march. wat about rs? isnt it due in apr, how can they send s4s overseas in mar?!?!!!

grrrrr!!!! so annoyed, irritated. doesnt help that i dont have my laptop back yet, i dont have pictures!!!!!!!!!

maybe i just need some sleep. not that i'm sleep deprived, cos i woke up late today and spent most of traveling time sleeping....


and horror, i forgot that x=[+/-b - (square root of b^2-4ac) ] / 2a! is it correct?? oh nooo, i'm so going to fail the week 2 math test :/

today's osl reunion dinner was quite okay, had food (duh!), met up with people, and mostly, watched Mr and Mrs Smith. i didnt quite get it though.. i couldnt hear what they were saying, i couldnt understand the chinese subtitles fast enough, so mainly i had to ask other people what was going on :/ ah wells. i tot it was quite unrealistic at the end though, how can the both of them shoot EVERYONE! nvm, i like happy endings anyway.


YOU'RE THE INSPIRATION (Chicago)

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

-gonna miss you next year.


anyway, next year's not starting on a very good note (the dratted extended school hours) and it's not gonna end nicely either (unless God wills it to be!)

i really really pray and hope and wish with all my being that ODAC expedition will not clash with OSL Cambodia.



Saturday, December 29, 2007

long time never blog alr... maybe cos i got tired of it, or maybe cos i din have time or sth. anyway, 2007's coming to an end, and now it's time to look back and reflect, and think about the new year and what it brings.

2007 has been, thus far, my most fruitful and interesting year in all my 15 years. really, all the opportunities given to me, all the things i did or did not do, all the friends i made and everything. there was my saddest moment but also my happiest moment. my best and worst moment. the best news and the worst news. new and exciting opportunities appeared but some also left. so on so forth, but all in all, a very good year for me

i've really learnt a lot this year, matured more and thought more. and though people may go through the same thing, they experience different things and therefore learn different things. some may learn more, some less. i'm just glad for the things that have been given to me this year, and for the next year too. i may not be the richest girl or anything, and i may have many other difficulties, but still, i think i'm very lucky and fortunate. and i think other people should also count their blessings and not misfortunes, because there's no point feeling sad over something already over. you can always work harder, there's always next year.


and next year, it's really full of changes. from the most mundane, like extension of sch hours, to work load and expectations. i just hope it'll be as rewarding and enriching as this year was(:




and for everyone's information, my laptop was sent for servicing, and i'll prob only get it back next week. all my docs are in there, so yeah, i dont have access to them now (except for some), and i also dont have windows live messenger and sometimes even windows messenger, so for anything urgent, please email me(:

Monday, December 17, 2007

ahh, been really busy the past few days, trying to settle everything before i leave. cos you know, the new year looks nearer from the other side of christmas xD and i'm spending christmas overseas, away from my computer and work D:

orientation stuff, hadley cheers, osl reports/videos/what-nots, odac stuff to check one D: but anyway, most of it's settled(:

:/ do seem to be pushing my work to others though, but i'll make up for it when i get back!!

anyway, i dont think i'll blog anymore before i leave, so i wanted to post a pic from osl before i leave! (sheesh i'm really sorry if my sentence structure and everything's all wrong, i'm a bit zonked out)

:/ the photos dont want to appear. ah wells, just wait a while more then!

A very Merry Christmas to all! (:

Sunday, December 16, 2007

currently trying to wade through the billion photos of cambodia... guess which are the most popular features of cambodia? rice fields, break of dawn, TOILETS, cows, and a zillion other random street photos. i'm not counting the Meakea kids and Sok Ann students photos... :/ so many repeated photos, that now i'm just clicking at nearly everything and deleting them, prob leaving just the people photos. :/

Thursday, December 13, 2007

my mood's really plummeting. the past few days i was still fine, cheerful, hopeful, a bit wistful that osl's over, still missing osl but those cherished memories are still there. but now, it's like reality's hit. the trip's over, although the learning wont stop. no more stalling, no more excuses. and feeling quite apprehensive over next year as well. what if i cant do my job well. and there's no one else. i dont think it quite got into my head that i'm never going to see the s4s again, till jc. and by then, things might have changed.


or maybe i just really miss my family. havent seen much of them for 5 weeks already. parents and jon went for nearly 2 weeks, so them for a mere day, then osl for 2 weeks, came back and so jon for a day then it was just me and jere. and hardly ever see him anyway, despite both of us being the only ones at home, cos jon went for a retreat. it's like, i see osl ppl, the elderly at the health care centre more than my family.


i think i'll go sleep now.
i realise my whole hols is one long Service Learning... starting with OSL Cambodia, then this week at Toa Payoh Senior Citizens Health Care Centre for WEP (but it's essentially like CIP), then next week i'll be going to Thailand to the mission home that my family visits every year (it's seriously not a vacation, but it's fun)

and i think i really learnt a lot this hols... appreciating the littlest things. from cambodia, it's light, education, english... seriously, today i was just walking home, then i looked up at the street lamp and i was like, wow, no flies! amazing that there are billions and zillions of flies at Sok Ann but none here... then at the senior citizens centre, those who are disabled cos of stroke or sth go there, made me really thankful that my grandparents were still fit and able, if a little over weight xP and yeah, i will never want to send my own parents there. there's this patient there who cant feed himself (only him and another lady cant), so i feed him most of the time. for breakfast and tea, they eat bread with milo/coffee, and for those who have problems chewing, porridge for lunch. and everytime i feed him, i'm always very scared he'll choke :/ but thankfully he never did(: and ms swee dropped by for a surprise visit, and haha when she saw me feeding him, she said it was very good and if i had a little sibling at home (so i'd have had practice).



sometimes i wonder, am i taking up so many things that my priorities are being split, that now i cant concentrate on a single commitment and commit myself fully to it? am i letting down the people who trust and believe that i can do it? am i short changing the odacians cos really, there's no one else? unlike my other commitments where if i cut slack there'll be someone else to cover for me?



i really think i could use a break. like a real and proper one, where i wont have to think of anything, or worry about anything, sleep as much as i want and do what i like. cos this holidays hasnt been much of a rest, and i dont foresee one in the near future... in fact, the holidays dont seem any different from sch term, except i dont have to do hw.


i've been reading sad stories one after another. from "first they killed my father" to "stay alive, my son" and "the broken glass floats(or sth like that)" about the Khmer Rouge which happened in Cambodia 30 years ago. then my aunt passed me 2 books, "sold" and "not without my daughter" i only finished reading "sold" and it's bout this family who lives in Birmingham, the father comes from Yemen and he sent his 2 daughters, 14 and 15 years old, who grew up in England, to Yemen telling them it's for a holiday, when he really sold them to his friends' sons to be their wives. then they're held captive there, and have to learn the traditional ways of the Yemen people.




still missing Cambodia, osl and chikku baluku. it's amazing how we could stay together for 2 weeks and never tire of each other. it's such a special group, it's so rare that you find a group which is totally cooperative and amazing! but now it's over, it's probably very rare that we'll all come together again. and i still have to get on with what i have to do. :/ osl, orientation, odac stuff...





if there's so much i must be, can i still just be me, the way i am.
can i trust in my own heart, or am i just one part, of some big plan.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

i dont mean to be pessimistic or anything, but i was just reading my pri sch friend's blog, and it's like, i dno, i guess we've all moved on, forgot most of what happened in the past. which made me think, is this what we'll become in a few years' time? maybe in j2, when we're mugging hard for a levels, thinking about scholarships and what not, will we have forgotten the friendships we've made in sec sch? the times we spent in cambodia? will we still rmb each other and our love for osl?


the holidays dont seem much like holidays. i'm missing a lot of people; my parents, my younger bro (he went for a church retreat), osl (very very much, though we just saw each other on sat, but we'll prob never meet up altogether ever again), friends and more.

and although i may join osl next year, but the experience will never be the same. the people will be different, the atmosphere and everything. :/ i'm really missing osl and cambodia, just looking at the pictures could make me cry :(




am i really biting off more than i can chew?

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

There's so much to do and not enough time! :/
going out with people whom i miss (or will be missing), compiling photos for osl (this is an extremely time consuming task...), ppt slides for osl hall assembly talk, reflections, and much more :/

and WEP isnt helping. sometimes i wish i didnt sign up, cos it's really rather pointless. the only thing which it has made me feel, was to make sure my parents dont end up in a place like that. it's rather dreary :/


i really really really miss OSL Cambodia, and Chikku Baluku :( havent seen anyone except for soff since we left the airport. anyway i think i'm going to be quite sick of soff by next year :D hahaha. she's in SLN too xD


my laptop's running out of memory space. i wonder if my brain is as well...
Still missing OSL Cambodia 2007

Where We Belong
Morning comes around and I
Can't wait to have, my bread and milo
In its glorious Tupperware, with flies in it it’s so nutritious
Bright lights shine at Sok Ann at night
Guiding flies closer to us
To a place where they’ll be safe and warm
In our shirts

Chorus:
Where we belong, where we keep our hearts and sousl,
Where stars shine bright at night
Where we sit together, chair to chair, durings facils in moonlight
Where we belong, we keep our hearts and souls,
Where we’re one big OSL,
We want Cambodia to know, we want to sing it out loud,
That this is the place that we love

At the Beginning
We were strangers starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we’d have to go through
Now here we are, and I’m suddenly standing
In Cambodia with you

No one told us, we were going to meet you
Fortunately, you were there to guide us
When we felt lost, you were always there for us,
For you’re our great mentors

Chorus:
And this is a road that we wanna keep going,
These are the days that we wanna keep living,
These are the people that we wanna keep loving
Wonderful mentors
You’ll be there when the nights are freezing
You’ll be there when our brains aren’t working
In the end, we just wanna thank you for all the things
That you’ve done.

This is Cambodia
Whenever I am feeling low, I look around me, and I know,
This is a place that will stay within me,
Wherever I may choose to go.
I will always recall the rice fields, and all the ano. Cows
Look at the night sky and wonder why,
There are so many stars.

Chorus:
This is Cambodia, where we know we must be,
Where the people are friendly,
No matter where you come from.
This is Sok Ann High, where we stayed in Takeo
We came here to teach and learn
For this our OSL

When there is cow poo on the floor, I look around and, I see more
There are pigs dogs cows and ducks, and the chickens that go cluck
I will think of the cold mornings, and the warm afternoons,
Squat in the toilet with a torch light, brushing teeth in the fields.

Chorus

We will get there
Remember that day, we flew to Cambodia with faith
Remember the time, we laughed,
when Mr Mizar was chopping his garlic
Then things weren’t the same
The taste that we knew he had changed
He added in a lot of salt
We see until heart pain
Must learn from ms Chia
Her cooking damn good sia
We know she’ll cook a good meal
For us for now and ever after

Chorus:
Deep in our hearts, we just know,
Right from the start, you are pro
Look where we are,
You’ve brought us so far
We still have one more day to go
With all of our hearts, you have cared
We want to thank you for all that
With teachers our friends
Together we’ll stand
And in the end,
Hand in hand
We will get there

So now mr paul
The one who is so very tall
Who plays basketball, guitar
And is so very good at them all.
Here comes dear Patrick,
Who gets love letters from hot chicks
By finding some Cambodian love
We’ll come for you next year
And lastly ms low
Who’s good at speaking slow
So Cambodians will know
The English that she wants to mend


And in particular, CHIKKU BALUKU!

Slogan
Chikku Baluku, to Takeo and beyond

Mascot
The POW (Cowlorian piglorious)

Chikku Cheer
If I say Chi, you say Ku
Chi – Ku
Chi – Ku
If I say Balu, you say Ku
Balu – Ku
Balu – Ku
If I say Chi, you say Ku
If I say Balu, you say Ku
Chi – Ku Balu – Ku!

Chikku Cheer 2
*hands down* Chikku
*hands up* Baluku

Pig Cheer
Nie nie *snort snort* whee!

Food chant
Let’s eat, chi fan, makan, thaw niem, bon appetite, jia png, itadakimas!

Who let the Pow out
Who let the Pow out
Moink, moink, moink, moink

Remix
Who let the pow out? Moo x4
Who let the pow out? Poot x4
Who let the pow out? Moink x4

Just shurrup, shurrup x3
*awkward silence for 5 sec*
Moo Power, Poot!

Power to the Chikkus! Moo Moo
Power to the Chikkus! Poot Poot
Power to the Chikkus! Moink Moink
Power to the Chikku Balukus! Oh Yeah!

We are Chikku Balukus (to the tune of It’s A Small World)
There is just one Moo
And one Doraemon,
With the three Cheekos
And the two Bimbos
There are two Paedophiles
With the two Blur Sotongs
We are Chikku Balukus

We are Chikku Balukus
We are Chikku Balukus
We are Chikku Balukus
We are Chikku Balukus

Who let the Fart out
Who let the Fart out
Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo

A Capella
Part 1: This is group three, three, three
Part 2: Baluku ku ku ku ku
Part 3: Chikku

Cheeko Dance
Oh-oh, oh-oh pop x3
*slurp slurp* yeah yeah

Sexyback
we’re bring sexy back *slaps butt* yeah!

Fat kid
(squish face between fists)
My momma said fat kids can’t smile, but I’m gonna prove her wrong *grins*

Butterfly
Aye ayi aye I’m a Raffles butterfly
Green black and white like the colours on my tie

We Are OSL (by Bella and I) (to the tune of I Want It That Way)
We are OSL
We go Cambodia
Sok Ann beautiful
I like it that way

Tell me why people always go “Sank You”
Tell me why they always say “I Lub You”
Tell me why I love OSL so much
Cos I like it that way

This Is Cambodia (by Shimin and I)
Whenever I am feeling low, I look around me, and I know,
This is a place that will stay within me,
Wherever I may choose to go.
I will always recall the rice fields, and all the ano. Cows
Look at the blue sky and wonder why,
There are so many stars.

Chorus:
This is Cambodia, where we know we must be,
Where the people are friendly,
No matter where you come from.
This is Sok Ann High, where we stayed in Takeo
We came here to teach and learn
For this our OSL

When there is cow poo on the floor, I look around and, I see more
There are many animals, so the place is beautiful
I will think of the cold mornings, and the warm afternoons,
Squat in the toilet with a torch light, brushing teeth in the fields.

Chorus

Monday, December 10, 2007

:D i'm feeling very satisfied now, guess why. COS I MANAGED TO COME UP WITH A CHEER! for hadley lah. (: hahah, dont know if it'll be accepted, but still! i did it in like, 1 hour or less?! and considering i NEVER watched hairspray. :D

anyway, WEP today was totally -.- it's not wep lah please, it's more like cip. sigh, i'm not complaining about our job, it's quite insightful, but like i really expected to learn more about the medical industry lor. like all i learnt today, was how to take blood pressure. and all you do is just slip the band in the arm and press the on button -.- sigh, maybe the lessons learnt there, like all other life lessons, are subconsciously learnt.

anyway, i intend to wake up at 7am tmr to go jogging! and so i should sleep now.

btw, i got into sln. so now, my committments for 2008 are: ODAC, PSB, Hadley House Comm, SLN. and very possibly (and i mean really very possibly) OSL and Congress. sigh, and my horribly terribly awful grade 8 piano :/ and chinese O level. well least by next year this time, i wont be studying chinese anymore, nor learning awful exam pieces and trying to figure out the rationale behind learning scales.


oh and honestly, i think prefects shouldnt just be the ones allowed to wear a special set of sch u! how bout psls also wear shirt and skirt, only our ties diff colour! xD hahaha, like white being the predominant colour instead of green. cos people only notice prefects! :( and incidentally, hahaha today at the elder care centre, there was this guy (he was a helper there) who asked soff "what's prefect? it's not your name right?" xD so cute! i never knew there were people who didnt know what prefect meant.


and mr lim just put into my head, the thought that i should change my blog url to sth along the lines of chikku baluku! xD i really really miss my group :( and my buddies in particular :(


and it always makes me think, that i'm never gonna get the chance to see the sec 4s again, till i enter JC.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

RGS OSL Cambodia 2007 Sok Ann video

This is the video the pubs comm. made for the Sok Ann students!

i'm back from cambodia! not really glad to be back though, i'm missing osl very much :( osl withdrawal symptoms. and i think spending 2 weeks there made me lose some of my communication skills. ask anyone in my group xD Chikku Baluku!(: haha. Dawn, E-Lynn, Michelle (And) our mentors! (chua) shimin, soffia, moo(muneerah), bella, esther, andrea, louise and i! the time we spent there together was the best i ever had, in some ways.
we came up with many cheers and songs, and basically, i just enjoyed my whole experience there. will blog more on it another time...


was just telling my chi tuition teacher about osl, and she was saying that some people join just for the CIP hours... i was a bit, shocked? i dno, i didnt expect anyone to join just for the sake of CIP hours, i mean it comes as an added benefit, no? i really dont see a point in going overseas to serve a community there when you dont really want to do it, when you dont have a passion for it. when you do it just to put it there in your portfolio.

WEP tmr at toa payoh polyclinic. think it'll be fun(:

Saturday, November 24, 2007

like i said in the osl blog, in approximately 12 hours' time, we'll be in cambodia! and exciting though it is, i'm still quite scared. what if we forgot to bring sth majorly important! what if sth crops up halfway! what if.... :/

anyway, yeah i dearly hope that there is internet access there... hehehehe i'm the only one bring my laptop there (i dno bout teachers though...) so other people can download their photos xP imagine the possibilities...

hahahaha yeah i'm really really very excited bout tmr!! though sadly i dont get to say goodbye :( haha but i'm sure you'll come to read my blog so:

byeee sihui! haha too bad i know you miss me xP but if we're lucky, there'll be internet there and i can update on the OSL website!!

haha and to everyone else, cya in two weeks time!

Friday, November 23, 2007

from roy's blog:

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
haha duh no, i dont know anyone who is named jocelyne with an e.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
uhh no idea when was the LAST. maybe that time, though i may have cried in between, haha.

3. Would you say that you have great handwriting?
haha of course. though everyone else disagrees xD

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
lunch MEAT?! uh. anything.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
do i LOOK like i have kids. i'm underaged and still in sec sch... but i'd love to have some (when i grow up, duh), they're SOO adorable!(: when they're young, innocent and impressionable.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
i dno, i guess i would, but i really have no idea how other people perceive me. maybe you'd like to tell me?

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
haha of course. i learnt it from my dear friend lifang..

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
uh-huh. actually i have no idea what are tonsils xD

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
yepp. if i get the opportunity, and i want to do it with a friend!

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
hmm, honey stars, froot loops? i dno, i actually prefer muesli bars..

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
nope. very seldom.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
physically, okay lah. emotionally, i dno. i guess so? mentally, i hope so. i mean, that's nearly what everyone tells me. or maybe just andrea(tan). "stay strong" :/

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
cookies and cream!

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
their personality/attitude kinda thing.

15. RED OR PINK?
uhh. dno...

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
uhh. i get very short tempered at times. i think/read too much into things. and many many more.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
right now, my parents and my little bro. but they'll be back soon! but more or less... my seniors :(


18. Who's your favourite person in the world?
i dno... my dad maybe?

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
black fbts, no shoes -.- i'm at home..

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
froot loops. and only cos i think i better finish it before cambodia, cos i scared it'll spoil or sth...

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
move along - the all-american rejects

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
i dno. anything lah, i dont really mind...

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
uhh... fresh laundry (haha a bit weird i know), THE odac smell (HAHA, not that it's very nice or anything...), and uh, food, when i'm hungry.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
umm. i think my older bro, who called to ask if i called -.-

25. Have you been lonely before?
yeah of cos. i doubt if there's anyone hasnt felt that before.

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
i dont really watch sports...

27. HAIR COLOR?
brown

28. EYE COLOR?
brown

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
nope. why would i want to put pieces of glass/plastic into my eye -.-

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
uhh. no idea, it depends on my mood.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
duh happy endings, if you know me you know i hate scary movies.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
HAHA. well. in the cinema, it would be the one i watch with tess and shaina. forgot the name xP otherwise on tv it'd be Chitty Chitty Bang Bang! :D that was really funny!!

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
black xD haha it's the support women's everest team 2008 one.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter. But we never get it in Singapore. (haha copy word for word from roy xD)

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
hugs. kiss sounds a bit uh gay to me. unless you're related to me, or you're some little kid (who doesnt know much)

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
hmm. chng tng! the one my ah ma makes(:

37. The three people you will tell all your secrets to?
I dont tell anyone my secrets in the first place, let alone ALL.... maybe i've told some to some people, but yeah. that's about it. cos i hate being disappointed.

38. Do you trust easily?
nope. not really. you have to earn it, and once you've broken that trust, it's hard to get it back again. cos again, i hate being disappointed. and i have been.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
none, i'm on the computer... unless of course, you're like sihui who reads even while using the computer, or you're mugging for some exam...

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
hahah i like roy's "I don't have one. But if I did, wouldn't my mouse be on it. Hello... it's a mouse pad." but yeah, mine's blue, and i really dont know what it says, but it has a link on it. http://itops.gci.db.com or at least that's what i think it says, cos i cant really read it xP

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT?
cant really rmb if i watched tv last night... i dont think i did...

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
huh?

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
beatles, and only cos ringers played some of their songs before. have no idea what rolling stones are actually...

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
hmm... wales? :D i miss wales a lot.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
i dno, i dont think so. though maybe others do :/

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
singapore. mount alvernia, specifically. it's a catholic hospital btw, so yeah i think very few people heard of it :/

47.Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
uh. in uni, hopefully living a very fruitful life...

48).What's your favourite song?
dno... depends on my mood.

49)Love or Money?
love. do i look like a money-minded person -.- or maybe there are people who think i do... D:


haha okay 1 hour plus more till my parents get back! then i'll go pack my luggage, do whatever else i have to, and go to sch tmr -.- seriously, i spend nearly my whole holiday in school... not that i'm complaining whatsoever, i enjoy what i do(: why else would i join what i joined....

psb(: osl(: congress(: fam(: RINGERS(: ODAC(:

just osl trip left, to end off my sch year. the end, the last of all my commitments for this year. and next year, it's a whole new journey again. but this time, you're the senior, the one others look up to. no more sec 4s. no more seniors giving you advice on this or that. no more anything.


At the beginning
We were strangers starting out on our journey
Never dreaming what we'd have to go through
Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me I was going to find you
Unexpected what you did to my heart
When I lost hope you were there to remind me
This is the start

(chorus)
And Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I want to keep flowing
Life is a road now and forever
A Wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there whenthe storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming how our dreams would come true
Now here we stand unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

(chorus)

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
I know that my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

(chorus)

In the end I wanna be standing at the beginning with you

- for OSL.

i dont mean to be a bad Christian or anything, but really i think the cathetism (sunday classes/religious classes) classes i go for every sunday (not now, it's holidays) really dont teach me much about anything about my faith. maybe it's just my church, or maybe just me. the sermons arent very inspiring either... if not for my friends there, i think i'd just change church. or maybe i will, after confirmation next year...

Amen: To confirm/strengthen
(you know, the term we use after every prayer)

Alleluia: Praise the Lord

i really admire Christians love for God. not that Catholics dont have it, but it's just less pronounced. for one, we dont go round orchard road or anything handing out surveys. and you see it a lot less in church mates, as compared to Christian class mates.


One Way - Hillsong United

I lay my life down at your feet
You're the only one I need
I turn to You and You were always there
In trouble times it is you I seek
I put you first that's all I'll need
I humble all I am, all to you

One way Jesus,
You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus,
you're the only that I could live for

You are always always there
every how and everywhere
Your grace abounds so deeply within me
You will never ever change
Yesterday today the same
Forever till forever meets no end

One way Jesus,
You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus,
you're the only that I could live for

One way Jesus,
You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus,
you're the only that I could live for


You are the way, the truth and the life
We live by faith and not by sight, for you
We're living all for you

You are the way, the truth and the life
We live by faith and not by sight, for you
We're living all for you

You are the way, the truth and the life
We live by faith and not by sight, for you
We're living all for you

You are the way, the truth and the life
We live by faith and not by sight, for you
We're living all for you

One way Jesus,
You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus,
you're the only that I could live for

You know how ppl always talk about climate change, yet very few people actually respond to it. i mean, you look at the newspapers. there you have it, talks of environmental disasters caused by climate change. the cyclone that covered the whole of Bangladesh; the jellyfish found in northern ireland and killed most of the salmon in the fish farm. all these caused by warmer sea temperature, a result of climate change. and the people talk about how detrimental climate change is, and how we should do our best to prevent it.

yet in the same issue, you have many many more articles about industrialisation, about one thing or another that mankind is doing is doing irreparable damage to the earth. Malaysians scouring some beach to find gold deposits (can you imagine the amount of destruction?!); South Korea intending to turn some coastal area into an industrialisation park or sth; branded goods being manufactured in developing countries (branded goods are seriously a waste of money and resources) and much much more.

we keep saying that we need to change, to help save our world from devastation, that we should live a sustainable life etc. but really, very few can actually do it. even me. i really would try my best to save energy and resources, but you know, i can never turn vegetarian, or not switch on my computer.

breeding cows (sounds wrong :/) and pigs and other stuff for their meat is an extremely expensive and energy consuming industry. yet we dont try to reduce the amount - instead, arent our demands even higher now?

our global population is in all probability, too much for our world to handle. look at all those forecasts, that we would run out of fuel in a few ten years' time; that we would run out of this or that within our lifetimes. yet on the other hand, you see governments promoting families, or encouraging parents to have more kids. it's just so conflicting.


i wonder if anyone who does fps (future problem solving) actually manages to come up with a feasible solution for this major problem. cos seriously, it concerns all of our lives, yet no one really cares about it. maybe we're just too used to this rather lavish lifestyle of ours to really want to change.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

ahh, back from odac lead camp! had lots of fun (and learning, of course) all thanks to our wonderful sec 4s(: who sadly, will be leaving :'(

will not elaborate on exactly what we did, but first day we did climbing! and kayaking! and running in the rain to save our tents :/ second day was trekking in pulau ubin and biking!! and then bbq and chalet(:

so i'd just like to thank vivian, chermaine, andrea, e-lynn, weili, cheryl lynn, serene, mr tan, mrs anis for making the camp possible and making it great(: mrs anis' little boy is very cute.

after we broke camp we went to changi village hawker centre to eat, then sihui siling went over to my house to shower. then i went to bedok to withdraw money, then the three of us went to chermaine's house. played cards, mostly.

i made friends with two little boys! mrs anis's son and chermaine's brother! they're both very cute(:

anyway after that went down to peninsula plaza to get my camera! finally... then took a super long bus ride home. anyway, now i've got a slight headache, i'm losing my voice and my thigh muscles are aching (from star jumps!) :/ hope i wont fall seriously ill in cambodia D:

incidentally, it's in THREE DAYS' TIME! i dont feel prepared :/


btw, the world has so many shiyings?! i just went online then
L-I-F-A-N-G says:
ohh btw whats shiyings number! i lost it
(okay she was talking about other stuff before, but she asked this about the same time as the other!)

Paul pull harder on the strings of matyr says:
is shiying online?

anyway, they werent talking about the same shiying... in fact, paul typed in the wrong convo -.- but still... (both of them were from my pri sch)


i hate ants.



Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along
i dont want this year to end,
for the sec fours to be leaving.
there's still so much to know,
so much to learn, so much to give.


-dont leave me.

Monday, November 19, 2007

today had both odac and osl packing. so i had a luggage and a huge bag with me, so i took a taxi. the stupid taxi didnt want to bring me (and roy) to school, so i had to alight at chai chee (imagine! it cost $7!!) then take another cab with roy...
then cos of the asian summit, the school was filled with policemen and women... but they were quite... i mean they blasted music and kept eating....
anyway, packing was generally okay lah, ran here and there, up and down... and malaria pill was disgusting, but least i didnt have a stomach ache...
then after that roy and soffia and i went to plaza sing to eat, then to bugis. then poor soff and i followed roy everywhere, trying to search for a bag that she would be satisfied with. and it's no easy feat. we probably walked for like 1 hour ++, and still, she hasnt gotten one -.-" we couldnt find a shop which sold deuter backpack. i told her to just borrow her sis for cambodia, then go there buy! i'm going to buy my sch bag for next year there xP we even went to city link to find her bag lah, and marina square...
anyway, here comes the whole point of me blogging today, when i have so much left to do (farewell letters! D:) cos you see, my mom promised i'd get a camera if i got a high gpa for end of year (high for me anyway)... and although at that point of time it seemed impossible (no matter how i calculated, i'll be short of 0.05 or sth), i managed to hit my target! :D therefore, she owes me a camera.
and me being a suaku at such stuff, she got my bro to go with me, and gave me a budget of $300 (he told her it was enough! when it wasnt, really, if you wanted a decent camera...) yeah so anyway, i went with him to peninsula plaza (or sth like that) and there's this camera which costs $460 which i want!! it's waterproof, for 3m underwater for 2 hours... but it's $160 over budget :( so. IF YOU HAVENT BOUGHT ME A BIRTHDAY PRESENT, AND YOU'RE FEELING GUILTY, I DONT MIND ANG BAOS! (: $1 also can, i dont really mind. but i need $160 by like, thursday. so please please pretty please? i want my camera by cambodia :(
here's the link if you want to see it.

Friday, November 16, 2007

havent updated in a long time xP mainly cos i'm too lazy too... well let's start with FAM then!

FAMily 2007 was greatt! cos we've got a GREAT OT!:D went to Mandarin in the morning, met Chrisanda and Dawn at the lobby... so we went up to what we thought was Mandarin Court, and wondered why it was so small and cramped. until we realised we were at the wrong ballroom -.- so loser right! anyway yeah, after that the rest of the OT arrived and we started work! re decorating the place so it would look less china and more dazzling.. i hope we achieved it, cos we had a hard time putting up the banner and doing up everything! we made mr lau stand on ladders and chairs just to put things up or get balloons down.... xP but anyway, i had a great time(: though after the actual programme started i was feeling quite bored xP by the time it was halfway through i was quite sian alr...
the worse thing was, for the photo montage, I BURNED THE WRONG COPY INTO THE CD! :( so the photos were not very nice. sigh, and i think i deleted it alr.

slept over at the hotel, with other crazy people xD we finished everything at Mandarin court about 130am, so we went to the room, slacked around for a while, deciding what to do. then went to eat macs at lido there at 2+,3am in our DRESSES. xP cos we were all hungry, we ate at like 5pm... then went back to hotel, visited #15's room, finally went back to OT room to find SPSLs hiding all over the room... turns out that cos they were too noisy, the extras got chased out of their room and they came to seek salvation at our room... cos we were on a different floor with hardly any RG people staying there... slept early, about 330, 4am (the rest continued talking till like 6am?!)

woke up early in the morning at 730am with yingxuan and thashi to go school! before that stopped over at macs again to get breakfast xP so in total i slept about 4,5 hours? which was prob the most out of the OT which stayed over, cos apparently i took up a lot of space xP


13th nov was CXC. went a bit crazy. but anyway, it was fun xD

14th had orientation comm meeting, then went for CXC before going out for lunch with juan then odac comm meeting and then batch meeting. well yeah, played rummy between odac comm and batch meeting...

15th, CXC again. i decided to take a bus to sch for once, and found out it took me an hour on the bus, and i still had to change to 190 o.O after that my parents picked me up, we went for lunch, then went home. parents and younger bro went to shower + do last minute packing, then we chionged to the airport, cos they were taking a 4.55pm flight to shang hai. reached about 3.45pm -.- but anyway, yeah so after that, went home to shower, pack and go for ringers chalet!


Ringers chalet was fantastic!(: Shuna is a great cook in bbq. her bbq chickens are very good!(: not burnt, not undercooked. the satay was also very good, and the marshmallows too!!!!!!! watched peterpan, music and lyrics, and some other movies, while playing bridge. HAHA i learnt how to play bridge! xP quite cool lor. so yeah, slept at 4am!

then cos there was CXC today as well, woke up at 630am to call a taxi. it came in 5 mins... reached tanah merah mrt at 7am, and i took bus again (slept all the way:D) and anyway, reached sch at 820am. which is very very early.... so i went to the dance studio to sleep.

CXC was again, crazy today. had lots of fun though (: and i do NOT dance like a monkey!

and i was carrying around a soft toy dog cos my ringers batch gave it to me as a farewell present. :( i'm really going to miss ringers next year... and i'm really really glad and thankful that they do not hate me for quitting...

Ringers, 307, PSB, OSL :D



i realise my personality changes drastically depending on the company i'm with... from the least serious to the most serious, it's OSL, 307, Ringers, Congress, PSB, ODAC... i guess it's the expectations and yeah the people i'm around...


i dont want to think about it, no.



ohh! and i finally went to get a facebook account, cos i want PICTURES! same reason why i got a friendster account, really. xP I WANT FAM PICTURES, I WANT PSB FAREWELL GM PICTURES, I WANT PICTURES PICTURES PICTURES!!!


and i so want a camera now.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

i'm tired. are you that busy with whatever you are doing that you cant do what you've been tasked to do ages ago? if you are, please tell me, so i'll just do it and save me the trouble of having to remind you over and over again, and you replying as if i've offended you greatly or sth.
and same goes to you. if you think you have too much to do, just tell me. dont need to drop subtle hints or direct ones even. it's just plain annoying.

anyway, that aside, i AM seriously physically tired. i slept for 2 hours in the afternoon at that. :/ maybe i'm just getting old.

FAM's tmr! quite excited for it, though i'll be stuck back stage -.-" and although i havent really contributed much, as compared to people like the OICs, annie, thashi etc. but still, i hope all of them will enjoy it!(: months of hardwork had gone into making those 5 hours memorable for them!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

today's psb farewell gm was fun yet sad. got to know some spsls better, but the fact that this would be the last time we see each other as a board was very sad. took photos, needless to say, but i realise everytime i take quite a lot of photos with other people, but i never get them...

i think i'll miss some spsls a lot.

then after that i went to eat xiao long bao. uhh no idea what they're called in english. then went to buy tealight candles from ikea. but with my mom, we end up buying a lot of stuff. I LOVE IKEA! it's so environmentally friendly and the stuff there's quite cool!!

then went for evening mass cos tmr morning got KAYAKING! then my condo was having some family day thing and they were screening movies, and i managed to watch the second half of some jack neo movie, it was super funny! hahah xP

yeahh! KAYAKING tmr! :D i've wanted to go kayaking for ages! i want to go climbing too! and beach-combing!! i'm so so super sad! the day we leave for cambodia, the tide's super low lah! like nearly 0m?!?!!! :( I WANT TO GO LAB PARK THEN!!!


anyway, i'm convinced no one ever visits the osl website. i forgot to post on our cultural immersion, but no one noticed!!! :( sigh.


kayaking! FAM!!! :D so exciting FOC! OSL!!


-you know, at one point of time i was actually considering not joining any boards next year. no osl, no psb, no congress, nth. and now, it's nearly exactly the opposite. funny how things go doesnt it. it all depends on our choices.

Friday, November 09, 2007

hahah i'm posting my psle score now...

anyway i'm done with fam!! it's like the only thing i have to do for fam -.-" but i'm done with it! haha i koped it from all over the place xP xP

saving into movie file now, only 60% done :/


i think i'm rather unreasonable. you think?


sigh, should i join sln? should i join osl (next year)? should i join both? or should i join none...
:/ so much to think about, not enough memory space...


do you think i can cope? i think i can... and that's all that matters... right? :/



you know, some people say "dont be friends with people who might pass on bad influence to you". but they dont think about how maybe all the more we should be friends with these kind of people, that they will become better under good influence?



okay, saved and done. i'm finished with it after i send it out! (:

g'nite all. (rather, good morning, as sihui would say...)
woke up early this morning to go sch for sln interview... it wasnt that bad, it was just "to get to know me better"... boon hwee was after me, so after that we chatted, she's very funny... i hope she gets into sln!

then walked around the pavilion and psb room and GO, trying to find teachers and smiling and waving at them as they walk to and fro... slept at noon then woke up. visited ringers for a while (i heard they're having pracs on mon and fri!!) before going for osl..

IT lessons were quite interesting.

then anyway, went to get fam stuff in the evening... my mom wanted me to go pierce my ears, but anyway, the clinic doctor was out. haha it's damn funny, i've got a whole collection of earrings but no ear holes xP i think i have 3/4 pairs alr? and considering i DONT have ear holes, it's quite a lot xD

haha anyway yeah. now's like fam, osl, orientation and odac stuff due. kay maybe not odac, but still.


psb farewell gm tmr! :/ i dont want to say goodbye.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

I'm into quotes again!

"Your success is not measured by how much you make or who knows you. It's knowing that you made a contribution and some type of difference in the world around you. Always look at what you do in terms of what difference it's going to make." - unknown

"success is not measured by what you accomplish, but by the opposition you have encountered, and the courage with which you have maintained the struggle against overwhelming odds." - Orison Swett Marden

"All i have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all i have not seen" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Be not the slave of your own past. Plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience that shall explain and overlook the old" - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"If i have lost confidence in myself, i have the universe against me." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

I think it's quite scary how people like Ralph Waldo Emerson can come up with so many quotes! haha maybe he's just a genius...


today was fun. woke up at 9+, went to visit my great grandparents' grave, went to sungei buloh, went for lunch, came home and packed my tables (note plural) and had a wonderful 2 hour piano lesson.

sungei buloh was really interesting. saw monitor lizards, a couple of crabs, birds etc. and we spotted what someone said was an otter. but i seriously doubt so... got a couple of (really blur) pics, shall upload whenever i feel like it xP

piano lesson was a torture. i've totally lost interest in piano... and exams are like, next year :/ well passing grade 8 is all that's sustaining me now...


on the scary side, tmr's sln interview D: haha i've been through quite a few interviews (perhaps not as many as others, but still...) but least for all the rest, i knew more or less what to expected... plus this was on nomination basis... expectations, expectations, expectations again.

then to do fam stuff. then hopefully a little nap before osl...

how come my holiday's all about school?



Wednesday, November 07, 2007

righhto. back from lead camp!

well it was certainly an eye opener, different from all other camps i've been to. and i've learnt a lot, really.

i think i'm rather a late bloomer. haha.

anyway, do you think i should join sln? it seems like a good opportunity, since it's been offered to me. but yeah, i know i'm getting myself into a lot of things.

nevertheless, i'm not going to let that worry me! haha shall just let things take its course. if God wants me to, i will. interviews, interviews, interviews. not just for sln, but also gylc. do i want to go? i think i do. :D


sigh, anyway i'm suffering from severe short term memory now... too many things on my mind... that's why, my faithful companion the notebook is always with me!xP

now lemme share some stuff from lead camp! (i actually took notes lor, during debriefs and stuff)

"the success of the camp depends on the people" - Yen Lin
"leaders are solution-finders" - Mr James Ong
"leadership is about understanding and connecting" - Yen Lin
"Be confident enough of yourself and believe in what you're doing" - Yan Han

right. haha a bit lame lah xP but i think it's quite true.

and from this movie "Celebrate what's right with the world"
- vision controls your perception, and you perception controls you reality.
- Change is possibility

yeah and so on so forth. i have really learnt a lot, too many to post here.

but most of all, i want to thank my wonderful facils, Yen Lin and Yan Han and Mrs Priscilla Loh. cos they've really taught me a lot.


Sunday, November 04, 2007

i want i want i want! (i sound like a spoilt brat...)
i want to go sedili!! why why why! can i pretty pretty please miss (odac) lead camp on the last day?

sigh. why do i still whine when i know it's impossible...

then there's gylc, which will cost a bomb, and anyway i might not even be able to go...

back to earth, there's lead camp tmr. i wonder how it'll be... fun i hope... and i really hope my group gets odac's tents...

btw, anyone whose father has the ns mag, flip to pg 40 for sth interesting, HAHAH.


it's still early yet!


my mom's forcing me to take vitamin C. OHOHOH! my parents and my younger bro will be going to shang hai from 15-23 nov! i want i want i want to go too! :( sigh. sigh. sigh.

anyway, everything's so close! fam's next week, osl's in three weeks... i wonder if i should join osl next year...

Saturday, November 03, 2007

i've lost my thumbdrive. my drive to do any work. whether is it to pack my table, organise my stuff, or any organization's work. right now. i want my sleep, but i want to stay up.


i think it's quite difficult to find someone who actually truly understands you and what you're thinking.



If there's so much I must be/ Can I still just be me/ The way I am?


can i?

We are one - the lion king 2

Kiara is so cute...

We Are One - The Lion King 2

SIMBA:
As you go through life you'll see
There is so much that we
Don't understand

And the only thing we know
Is things don't always go
The way we planned

But you'll see every day
That we'll never turn away
When it seems all your dreams come undone

We will stand by your side
Filled with hope and filled with pride
We are more than we are
We are one

KIARA:
If there's so much I must be
Can I still just be me
The way I am?

Can I trust in my own heart
Or am I just one part
Of some big plan?

SIMBA:
Even those who are gone
Are with us as we go on
Your journey has only begun

Tears of pain, tears of joy
One thing nothing can destroy
Is our pride, deep inside
We are one

We are one, you and I
We are like the earth and sky
One family under the sun

All the wisdom to lead
All the courage that you need
You will find when you see
We are one
most people posted ytd, abt farewell assembly. well, i shall be one day late, but only cos i spent 2 days and a night with a bunch of super cool people (collectively known as PSLs) in a super cool camp (known as PSLTC) organised by a group of super cool people, led by a super cool person known as Sharon Chan. haha she's the camp commander!

let's talk backwards. PSLTC first. it was super fun and super cool, and i had lots of fun, thanks to my wonderful ship, SHIPS DON'T LIE and fantastic co-facils RESHMI NAIR and CHOO YEN LIN, although both of them deserted me today for piano theory exams... reshmi in the morning for grade 5 (haha she was the oldest lah) and yen lin in the afternoon for grade 6... :/

anyway, yeah i really had a blast these two days, got quite high, and got to know a lot more people. PSB '08 <3!


moving back a little, was a little 101 party. little for me, since i went for like, a few mins only? :/ i'm sorry... din quite get the chance to speak to them either...


back a bit more was odac meeting, where the news broke and yeah, we tao-pokked the sec 4s... i'm def going to miss them, and not just s4 odacians but all the s4s i've known in the past 3 years, cos now, there's no one else to look to for advice or a solution to a problem, we're going to have to cope on our own, and i'm not sure i can do it..

before that we got back our results, and although there are some OTHER people who did better than me, i'm still very pleased with my results, cos it's way higher than what i tot i could get(:

before that was odt and farewell assembly... quite okay i guess? i think i'm really going to miss that group of s4s, pseudonym soundwave or sth like that, who always go up to sing. they can sing really well!


so essentially, it was a very packed day ytd. oh and i didnt shower ytd night xP haha neither did a lot of other spsls! cos we were all so tired, we were afraid we'd fall asleep in the shower :P





i think back in the year, the times i've had with the different groups of people. my classmates, psb, congress, osl, odac, ringers and many others albeit for a short time only. and undoubtedly, i think i could say that the happiest and saddest times i've had were with odac. or about odac. but i do think odac gets me down sometimes, when i think about what i have to do next year, the heavy responsibilities, not just in terms of the WORK i have to do, but the expectations, the duties, the need to keep progressing and the large shoes left behind to fill. the others, mostly they wont stress me out, and i'd be more likely to get high with them. is that wrong?


and i dont ever want to be a sec 4.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

i was super tired today. no idea why, cos i didnt sleep especially late. anyway, came to sch and slept for a while, then went to collect psltc consent form, then went for farewell assembly. where i slept. for the most part. well the sleeping bag was a good pillow :P

yeah, i got vivian gan a sleeping bag, which isnt of a very pretty colour, but i wrote some stuff on it, so i hope she wont throw it back at me? :/

after that, i started whining, cos my class was going to west coast park for class party but cos of osl cooking classes i had to stay :( i so wanted to go!!

anyway, cooking class was... gross. we had to gut fish and chicken (though thank goodness my group didnt have to cook the chicken dish so i didnt gut the chicken :/) I think I'll go vegetarian for the two weeks in Cambodia.

Then after some running around with Soffia, had Congress GM. oh mann, it was so exciting!! WE GOT OUR CONGRESS BADGES!!:D hahahhah. oh and mr chew's our new teacher in charge. haha he's very funny, and what he's planned for congress next year (along with the exco) seems very exciting! (: cant wait for next year!

yeah join congress next year! (: it's an official leadership board, hahaha.

but i still think it's unfair, that all the leadership boards get badges while psb only has collar pins :( ah wells. not like it's going to change in the near future...

went to church cos today's All Saints' Day. um it's to um, recognise the saints in our everyday life! (or sth like that :/) like our parents who wake up early every morning to send us to school, our teachers who sacrifice a lot of their time and effort to teach us in every aspect etc...

yeah and so on and so forth. i went offline at 10+ so i could finish up vivian gan's farewell present in peace, then i went to shower, so here i am back now! posting on my rs blog now...




sigh, i dont look forward to tmr...





if you're trying to tell me how to do my job, the least you could do was tell me nicely and subtlety..



do i realise how busy i am going to be next year? no i dont, it'll prob sink in next year... or if i'm lucky (or otherwise) during the hols.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

From Parisa (haha i always get these from her :P)

Q: NAME A FRIEND WHO'S NAMES STARTS WITH A 'S'
Soffia!

Q: 4TH PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALLS
Juan min

Q: WHAT DID THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED SAY?
hmph...loue ya too.. cya! (from reshmi nair, she cant spell love :P)

Q: DO YOU CHEW ON STRAWS?
yeah sth...

Q: DO YOU HAVE CURLY HAIR?
nope! haha

Q: WHAT IS THE NEXT CONCERT YOU'RE GOING TO?
i dno, maybe elds one if i can find someone to go with?

Q: WHO'S THE COOLEST PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?
hm there isnt one...

Q: WHAT WORDS DO YOU SAY ALOT?
haha

Q: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
gummy bears

Q: WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU SAID TO SOMEONE AND WHO WAS IT?
i said "yeah" to my mom. (guess what she asked... no prizes for guessing...)

Q: DO YOU WATCH TV?
hahahha, uhh occasionally?

Q: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE, DONNIEDARKO?
uh it's a movie? doesnt even sound like anything...

Q: EVER BEEN HUNTING
um. logistics, people yeah...

Q: IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
haha far future i guess..

Q: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID," I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?
uhh to reshmi a few hours ago... and duh i meant it, then tell her for what...

Q: WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING RIGHT NOW?
haha yes i agree with parisa, sleep!

Q: DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
uh. does joce count for one?

Q: DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
naahh.

Q: WHO'S THE YOUNGEST ONE IN THE FAMILY?
my younger bro

Q: IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
banned substances yeah, not those when needed...

Q: DO YOU CLEAN UP NICE?
huh? does it mean i'm good at cleaning up? more or less i guess? i dont say i'm a neat freak, but i need my things to be very organized, even if it looks rather messy...

Q: LAST TIME YOU USED A SKATEBOARD?
hmm... i cant rmb, but it was some months ago... haha i think i like, just stood on it for a while?

Q: WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU SLEPT BESIDES YOUR HOUSE?
um. cant rmb... ohohoh, does mrt count? this morning xP

Q: EVER RUN OUT OF GAS ON THE ROAD
uh. not that i can rmb.

Q: BEST MOVIE YOU'VE SEEN IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS?
havent seen any in the past two weeks...

Q: WHO DO YOU TRUST THE MOST?
no one.. not even myself xP

Q: DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WHO COME UP WITH BRAIN DEAD QUIZZES ARE CRYING FOR HELP IN SOME TWISTED WAY?
huh?

LAST
1) person you saw: my mom?
2) talked to on the phone: uhh. juan?
3) hugged: si ling (cos sihui hugged first, haha)
4) person you texted: haha reshmi nair!

TODAY
1) date: 31 oct 2007 (or if you're really picky, 1/11/07)
2) plans: sleep. if you meant like 1/11/07, then go sch and do watever i need to do.
3) dislikes about tomorrow: school :( sec 4 no sch! and i dont get to go for class party :'(

CURRENTLY
1) missing someone: hmm. not really, cos had party... so yeah (:
2) mood: satisfied.

TRUE OR FALSE
I am a morning person: nope. unless i get high...
I am a perfectionist: nope
I am an only child: nope, 2 bro.
I am currently in my pyjamas: i dont wear pjs...
i am online 24/7: nope.
I am very shy around the opposite gender: depends... on who and what and where...
I can be paranoid: yeah, when it's very impt...
I currently regret something I have done: uh. dno, not in the mood to think xP
I enjoy talking on the phone: definitely not. i like msn best, followed by emails, then sms, then face to face...
I have a lot to learn: yeah. really a lot... :/
I have a secret: uhh... guess i should have, cos i cant rly rmb anything :P

5 people to do this: whoever who reads this. which i guess includes some odacians and some of my classmates...
ahh really tired now. went late for osl in the morning, cos i forgot to bring out my wallet :/ but yeah, had fun. got a picture of super cute fauzan (i think that's how his name is spelt), it's on my hp wallpaper now xP haha then went to get farewell assembly stuff at jurong point. then went to sihui's house to bring the halloween foodstuff over to my house.

had lots of fun preparing the food, although at the end there was lots of it left... then yeah, will talk more about it another day, very tired now.

anyway, yeah i hope they had fun, cos well least we can be assured that it was more or less a success? since it was rather a last minute job, we only planned out everything last nite :/ and the whole time, juan and i were like "this is never going make it" haha but i guess we were wrong? (:

but, sigh, tmr i'll hafta miss class party (at west coast!) cos of osl cooking class :/ then on monday will have to miss 101 class party cos of odac :/ sigh. i guess we have to make sacrifices...


you know, it's best to pile me with lots of work so i dont spend too much time thinking. cos generally, if i have nth much to do and i think, it turns out negative, haha.


currently, elynn, vivian and juanmin are upstairs watching tv. cos elynn's father's only coming at 11pm, and vivian's worried that elynn would feel weird being alone xP

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

tired. last minute chiong for fam "video", settling of obs packs (grahh these sec 2s ah...) and halloween party planning. and i havent even decided: what i'm going to wear for osl tmr (we're supposed to come in racial costumes), what i'm going to wear for halloween party. havent even settled farewell assembly present. or 101 class stuff. or the whatever other stuff i'm supposed to do. :/

but haha even though i'm feeling rather tired, there's a sense of achievement there, some satisfaction. cos seriously, i dont like being idle.


busy day to look forward to :/

Sunday, October 28, 2007

my DISC profile's SC/CS (for odac at least) but i believe there's still I in me. maybe cos my fear of rejection is so great i just try to ignore it and focus on other stuff, if you get what i mean. cos fundamentally, i still crave acceptance.

and maybe i think too much, and interpret everything, and when your spirits arent high, what you think and what you interpret arent very positive either. maybe i should just keep fooling myself, deluding myself. but in the end, i never ask, and so i never get to know.

it's all random rambling, trying to not feel anything, ignore everything. if you pretend it's not there hard enough, it wont be.

right now, however i look at it, however i see it, the only thing that could cheer me up would be 307(: cos there, the only expectations they have of you are your grades, and 'guai' or not. you dont have to try hard to be someone you're not, you dont have to set a good example, you dont have to do everything right.



maybe it'll soon pass. this whole thing. and with it, negative feelings. like being hated, being excluded, being ignored, being all alone.


but really, i dont think there's anyone i really trust right now. now or then. and i dont think i ever will, cos those who i trusted or would have trusted disappointed me.




the song i keep listening to: Had a Bad Day.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

updated! go visit please(: they're so dead...
RGS OSL 07
RS Labrador Park

(:

i think my holidays arent much of a holiday. RS, orientation, and so much more else to work on :/
i'm really suffering from severe short term memory these days, i cant even remember what i did ytd! or a few hours ago, for that matter...

oh yea, i was too lazy to blog ytd... but it was quite interesting, really.

spent the first half of my morning in the smelly, dark and ant-infested PE store, checking through odac tents to make sure they're fit for human inhabitation and that some people wont claim that any part of it was alr lost when it was given to them. oh and we serial numbered them! i'm proud to announce that i am quite familiar with those tents of ours now.

spent the other half watching An Inconvenient Truth, all the while shushing people and observing Soffia and Eunice cos i was sandwiched between those two sleeping "beauties" (yeah right -.-") the documentary wasnt that bad, quite interesting lor... no idea how could people actually sleep through it xP

it was rather educational... and i think humans are bad, the way we're using up the earth's resources at such an exponential rate such that it is becoming unsustainable (according to strait's times today anyway)... think about it, at first we just invent air con for the sake of inventing sth. then, cos of the use of air con (it required electricity, and for that usually we burn fossil fuels, and burning gives of carbon dioxide, i assume), we contribute to global warming, and the earth becomes hotter, and cos it's hotter, we use the air con more, and it's just a vicious cycle of... global warming? haha maybe what i'm saying is just utter crap, since i just made it up on my own without scientific proof and stuff, but srsly, we should cut down on our air con usage!

and Al Gore was saying sth about the sea level rising, and when it does, it'll flood many low-lying countries, and many people will be displaced, and our land mass will decrease. since there are too much of us, maybe we should just let it be and when the global population stabilises to sth that the earth can actually manage, the earth can be saved! maybe.

sigh, i think why people really dont want to do anything constructive about global warming is well, maybe escapism? like if they dont think about it, it wont happen. pretty much like reading fanfic. for me at least. you know that reading fanfic is going to be detrimental cos it'll take up a lot of time and etc, you know all the negative impacts, but still, you continue doing it, until well, the damage is done. then you stop, but well, the damage is lasting. :/ maybe that's a bad analogy. but still, i think we should do more.

anyway, for the first time since the end of exams, i could go home straight away after school! but the 190 which i was in had spoilt air cons, so the driver made us get down and we didnt have to pay. plus we get a ticket for a free ride. since we were at far east alr, i just took mrt...

got home, ate and slept! (: for two hours. then woke up to find my brother and father exterminating termites which had taken residence in a cupboard. then went for a swim, then dinner, then work, then yeah so on so forth. :P



today was even better... woke up, ate breakfast, went to school to do props for CXC. then went to lavender mrt for osl cultural immersion. quite fun lah, went to golden mile complex, did some games, ate the thai food, then went to army market. oh it's the most hilarious thing, we took like 10 mins to walk to golden mile from mrt, but we took nearly 30 mins to walk back? and guess why! haha cos roy was in front!! (haha sorry roy :P) okay okay, roy was NOT leading. xP poor roy, everyone suanned her! went back to school for debrief. then at 345 left for RS!

my wonderful group mates had forgotten to bring the most vital equipment - quadrats. please smack them for me. haha kay nvm, anyway yeah, so they called their father and everything, but couldnt find in time. when mr lim came, he was mad. well he didnt look mad, but we'll just assume he was. so we spent the rest of the time beach combing. or watever you call it. it was super fun! i'll update rs blog later, go read there. anyway, found lots of interesting stuff. bet you're jealous.

then had goreng pisang and drinks at the kopitiam near the main road, then went home, pick up my younger bro, went for dinner, then went to my aunt's house. for a super long time. then to my grandma house. then when i reached up, nearly 930. and proposal was due at 10pm. and to my horror, i found out that the other two hadnt done anything. cos one was on holiday :/ and the other, well it was more of my fault, cos i freaking forgot to attach the proposal -.-" kay nvm. anyway it's done.

anyway, yay, halloween party! (:

Thursday, October 25, 2007

high points:
1) haha the vid which mrs wee showed us(:
2) "batch" "outing"


low points:
1) break during lead camp
2) fam (we kena scolded :/)
3) my mom's angry for some reason or another...



i think s3 is a very trying and hectic and crazy year. my happiest and saddest times.




and i still cant believe it.




Wednesday, October 24, 2007

it's just so easy to fake a smile and pretend everything's fine, isnt it?
this says it all.



Bad Day

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oooh.. a holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day



not the whole day, just parts of it.



but it doesnt matter how i felt does it. everyone's just so concerned over what happened. well thanks.



you could have reduced me to tears.





i wish i could just drop everything, and hide in my bed. until everything's over. but no i know i cant. too much at stake, too much to do.

fam, osl, orientation, and last but not least odac.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

hmm. i want an emo buddy! then we can go around and emo together xP haha

and i want sweets and chocolates. i've run out of them. and i feel like eating sweets and choc nownownow!!!

and i need to go out and buy a certain something for a certain someone.

and i still need to write my long-overdue farewell letters.


meanwhile, i'll just wait.




anyway, merit cca day today, in my opinion, was quite screwed... :/ due to some unfortunate, unforeseen circumstances. well, let's just hope for the best tmr(:

and i cant rmb anything else that happened today... oh right, and i slept through some of the talks and *ah hem* farewell assembly rehearsal :P


tmr: osl pubs comm meeting (FINALLY.), pre lead camp, merit cca day, orientation sub comm ic meeting, fam avpa meeting (maybe).

actually i feel like running. or kayaking. or climbing. basically doing sth which odac does. NOT sitting in front of my comp and stoning while sucking a sweet...

Monday, October 22, 2007

am bored. have this nagging feeling that there's something i havent done :/

Part I - Lifeeee !
1> Name :
JocelynE Sze Shimin

2> Living in Reality or Fantasy :
Reality. kinda gave up on fantasy a long time ago.

3> Life or Death :
Life. dont exactly mind death though, in the sense that i wont be afraid, i guess?

4> Why ? :
cos i AM alive now, and might as well just make the best out of it xP

5> You spend most of your life :
thinking. or as parisa says, breathing.

6> Do you have a life :
not really, if you're talking about it in a social context. but yeah, more than some people i guess.

Part II - Family .
7> Name your biological family members :
Daddy, mummy, older brother, younger brother. if you're talking about immediate family members that is.

8> Name your other family :
ODAC. 307.

9> Which one do you love more ? :
Biological? i dno, they've been with me since i was born, and will be with me for a much longer time.

10> What would you do if anyone of them died :
cry. and yeah, i wont feel the same again.

11> Who's the prettiest in the family you stated :
eh, which family ah, biological or what? either way, haha shall not comment.

12> Who's the cutest :
shall not comment. although my juniors are all cute.

13> Who's the craziest :
hmm. at home we're all sane. in odac, i dno. wei? andrealim? in 307, haha deborah.

14> Who loves you most ? :
i dno. kinda hard to judge...

15> Who do you love most ? :
shall not comment.

Part III - Fortune & Fantasy .
16> Dream alot ? :
yeah, when i'm not sleep deprived.

17> Do you believe in Tarot Cards :
nope.

18> Like fantasy stories :
yeah, it's a form of escapism. just like this thing which i'm doing right now.

19> Do you want a unicorn :
there isnt one in the first place, and no i wouldnt want a pet or anything cos i wont be able to take care of it :/

20> Do you watch Harry Potter :
the movie? i think only when it's on channel 5, HAHA.

21> Do you read Harry Potter :
of course.

22> Harry Potter SUCKS , right ? :
shall not comment. i dont have a preference.

23> CAN YOU FLY ?! :
yeah, in my dreams.

24> If yes , where'ya fly to :
anywhere would be fine.

24> If no , WHYY ! :
cos i have this fear of falling.

Part IV - Anger .
25> How'd'ya normally get pissed :
hmm. when i'm extremely hungry. when i feel wronged. etc.

26> What do you do when you get angry :
it's quite obvious when i am. ignore people, or shout lor.

27> Are people scared of you when you're angry ? :
haha yes i think they are. and sometimes even when i'm not.

28> Are you easily angry :
hmmm. yeah, though i really try not to.

29> Who pisses you off most ? :
haha. wont comment cos there isnt such a person.

30> Who makes you happy when you're angry ? :
hmm anyone innocent, i dont really get angry at them... it's quite tough to get me out of my moods xP 100% out of my moods.

31> Are you vain ? :
i guess so, there's bound to be this part of anyone who's vain. but i'm not one who fusses over what i'm wearing kinda thing...

32> Are you SUPER SUPER vain ? :
no...

33> Name a person ( or a few ) who you think is very vain :
uh. i dno. brain's not really working. there's a reason why i'm doing this.

34> Number of piercings :
proud to announce ZERO.

35> Like looking good ? :
who doesnt.

36> Thin or fat ? :
i decline to comment, though i can virtually see what everyone's thinking when they read this.

37> Reason why you chose people at Q.33 :
didnt choose.

38> What you want them to do ? :
huh... looks arent all that matters lor, if there's anyone.

Part VI - Hatred.
39> Who do you hate ? :
hate's a strong word. i dont HATE anyone.

40> Why :
NA

41> Hate alot of people ? :
no -.-"

Part VII - This or that ?
42> Love or Hate :
love, duh.

43> Icecream or just Cream ? :
ICE CREAM. gosh, i do NOT like cream.

44> Depression or optimistition :
there's no such thing as optimistition... parisa you didnt do a typo did you? xP haha but yeah, duh, my blog title says it all...

45> Fly or walk :
walk.

46> Carbonated or Non-Carbonated drinks ? :
haha depends on mood.

47> Cookies or biscuits ? :
um. biscuits, i dont really like cookies, THOUGH I LIKE COOKIES AND CREAM ICE CREAM!

48> Baking or frying :
neither. i cant COOK for nuts.

49> iPod or Zen ? :
no preference. my current mp3's a bit spoilt, so i wouldnt mind anything.

50> Single or attached ? :
single.


haha kay i'm really bored. and i've still got this bad feeling that there's something very urgent due tmr...