In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

From Parisa (haha i always get these from her :P)

Q: NAME A FRIEND WHO'S NAMES STARTS WITH A 'S'
Soffia!

Q: 4TH PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALLS
Juan min

Q: WHAT DID THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECEIVED SAY?
hmph...loue ya too.. cya! (from reshmi nair, she cant spell love :P)

Q: DO YOU CHEW ON STRAWS?
yeah sth...

Q: DO YOU HAVE CURLY HAIR?
nope! haha

Q: WHAT IS THE NEXT CONCERT YOU'RE GOING TO?
i dno, maybe elds one if i can find someone to go with?

Q: WHO'S THE COOLEST PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?
hm there isnt one...

Q: WHAT WORDS DO YOU SAY ALOT?
haha

Q: WHAT IS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
gummy bears

Q: WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU SAID TO SOMEONE AND WHO WAS IT?
i said "yeah" to my mom. (guess what she asked... no prizes for guessing...)

Q: DO YOU WATCH TV?
hahahha, uhh occasionally?

Q: HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE, DONNIEDARKO?
uh it's a movie? doesnt even sound like anything...

Q: EVER BEEN HUNTING
um. logistics, people yeah...

Q: IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
haha far future i guess..

Q: WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID," I LOVE YOU" AND MEANT IT?
uhh to reshmi a few hours ago... and duh i meant it, then tell her for what...

Q: WHAT SHOULD YOU BE DOING RIGHT NOW?
haha yes i agree with parisa, sleep!

Q: DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
uh. does joce count for one?

Q: DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?
naahh.

Q: WHO'S THE YOUNGEST ONE IN THE FAMILY?
my younger bro

Q: IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
banned substances yeah, not those when needed...

Q: DO YOU CLEAN UP NICE?
huh? does it mean i'm good at cleaning up? more or less i guess? i dont say i'm a neat freak, but i need my things to be very organized, even if it looks rather messy...

Q: LAST TIME YOU USED A SKATEBOARD?
hmm... i cant rmb, but it was some months ago... haha i think i like, just stood on it for a while?

Q: WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU SLEPT BESIDES YOUR HOUSE?
um. cant rmb... ohohoh, does mrt count? this morning xP

Q: EVER RUN OUT OF GAS ON THE ROAD
uh. not that i can rmb.

Q: BEST MOVIE YOU'VE SEEN IN THE PAST TWO WEEKS?
havent seen any in the past two weeks...

Q: WHO DO YOU TRUST THE MOST?
no one.. not even myself xP

Q: DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WHO COME UP WITH BRAIN DEAD QUIZZES ARE CRYING FOR HELP IN SOME TWISTED WAY?
huh?

LAST
1) person you saw: my mom?
2) talked to on the phone: uhh. juan?
3) hugged: si ling (cos sihui hugged first, haha)
4) person you texted: haha reshmi nair!

TODAY
1) date: 31 oct 2007 (or if you're really picky, 1/11/07)
2) plans: sleep. if you meant like 1/11/07, then go sch and do watever i need to do.
3) dislikes about tomorrow: school :( sec 4 no sch! and i dont get to go for class party :'(

CURRENTLY
1) missing someone: hmm. not really, cos had party... so yeah (:
2) mood: satisfied.

TRUE OR FALSE
I am a morning person: nope. unless i get high...
I am a perfectionist: nope
I am an only child: nope, 2 bro.
I am currently in my pyjamas: i dont wear pjs...
i am online 24/7: nope.
I am very shy around the opposite gender: depends... on who and what and where...
I can be paranoid: yeah, when it's very impt...
I currently regret something I have done: uh. dno, not in the mood to think xP
I enjoy talking on the phone: definitely not. i like msn best, followed by emails, then sms, then face to face...
I have a lot to learn: yeah. really a lot... :/
I have a secret: uhh... guess i should have, cos i cant rly rmb anything :P

5 people to do this: whoever who reads this. which i guess includes some odacians and some of my classmates...
ahh really tired now. went late for osl in the morning, cos i forgot to bring out my wallet :/ but yeah, had fun. got a picture of super cute fauzan (i think that's how his name is spelt), it's on my hp wallpaper now xP haha then went to get farewell assembly stuff at jurong point. then went to sihui's house to bring the halloween foodstuff over to my house.

had lots of fun preparing the food, although at the end there was lots of it left... then yeah, will talk more about it another day, very tired now.

anyway, yeah i hope they had fun, cos well least we can be assured that it was more or less a success? since it was rather a last minute job, we only planned out everything last nite :/ and the whole time, juan and i were like "this is never going make it" haha but i guess we were wrong? (:

but, sigh, tmr i'll hafta miss class party (at west coast!) cos of osl cooking class :/ then on monday will have to miss 101 class party cos of odac :/ sigh. i guess we have to make sacrifices...


you know, it's best to pile me with lots of work so i dont spend too much time thinking. cos generally, if i have nth much to do and i think, it turns out negative, haha.


currently, elynn, vivian and juanmin are upstairs watching tv. cos elynn's father's only coming at 11pm, and vivian's worried that elynn would feel weird being alone xP

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

tired. last minute chiong for fam "video", settling of obs packs (grahh these sec 2s ah...) and halloween party planning. and i havent even decided: what i'm going to wear for osl tmr (we're supposed to come in racial costumes), what i'm going to wear for halloween party. havent even settled farewell assembly present. or 101 class stuff. or the whatever other stuff i'm supposed to do. :/

but haha even though i'm feeling rather tired, there's a sense of achievement there, some satisfaction. cos seriously, i dont like being idle.


busy day to look forward to :/

Sunday, October 28, 2007

my DISC profile's SC/CS (for odac at least) but i believe there's still I in me. maybe cos my fear of rejection is so great i just try to ignore it and focus on other stuff, if you get what i mean. cos fundamentally, i still crave acceptance.

and maybe i think too much, and interpret everything, and when your spirits arent high, what you think and what you interpret arent very positive either. maybe i should just keep fooling myself, deluding myself. but in the end, i never ask, and so i never get to know.

it's all random rambling, trying to not feel anything, ignore everything. if you pretend it's not there hard enough, it wont be.

right now, however i look at it, however i see it, the only thing that could cheer me up would be 307(: cos there, the only expectations they have of you are your grades, and 'guai' or not. you dont have to try hard to be someone you're not, you dont have to set a good example, you dont have to do everything right.



maybe it'll soon pass. this whole thing. and with it, negative feelings. like being hated, being excluded, being ignored, being all alone.


but really, i dont think there's anyone i really trust right now. now or then. and i dont think i ever will, cos those who i trusted or would have trusted disappointed me.




the song i keep listening to: Had a Bad Day.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

updated! go visit please(: they're so dead...
RGS OSL 07
RS Labrador Park

(:

i think my holidays arent much of a holiday. RS, orientation, and so much more else to work on :/
i'm really suffering from severe short term memory these days, i cant even remember what i did ytd! or a few hours ago, for that matter...

oh yea, i was too lazy to blog ytd... but it was quite interesting, really.

spent the first half of my morning in the smelly, dark and ant-infested PE store, checking through odac tents to make sure they're fit for human inhabitation and that some people wont claim that any part of it was alr lost when it was given to them. oh and we serial numbered them! i'm proud to announce that i am quite familiar with those tents of ours now.

spent the other half watching An Inconvenient Truth, all the while shushing people and observing Soffia and Eunice cos i was sandwiched between those two sleeping "beauties" (yeah right -.-") the documentary wasnt that bad, quite interesting lor... no idea how could people actually sleep through it xP

it was rather educational... and i think humans are bad, the way we're using up the earth's resources at such an exponential rate such that it is becoming unsustainable (according to strait's times today anyway)... think about it, at first we just invent air con for the sake of inventing sth. then, cos of the use of air con (it required electricity, and for that usually we burn fossil fuels, and burning gives of carbon dioxide, i assume), we contribute to global warming, and the earth becomes hotter, and cos it's hotter, we use the air con more, and it's just a vicious cycle of... global warming? haha maybe what i'm saying is just utter crap, since i just made it up on my own without scientific proof and stuff, but srsly, we should cut down on our air con usage!

and Al Gore was saying sth about the sea level rising, and when it does, it'll flood many low-lying countries, and many people will be displaced, and our land mass will decrease. since there are too much of us, maybe we should just let it be and when the global population stabilises to sth that the earth can actually manage, the earth can be saved! maybe.

sigh, i think why people really dont want to do anything constructive about global warming is well, maybe escapism? like if they dont think about it, it wont happen. pretty much like reading fanfic. for me at least. you know that reading fanfic is going to be detrimental cos it'll take up a lot of time and etc, you know all the negative impacts, but still, you continue doing it, until well, the damage is done. then you stop, but well, the damage is lasting. :/ maybe that's a bad analogy. but still, i think we should do more.

anyway, for the first time since the end of exams, i could go home straight away after school! but the 190 which i was in had spoilt air cons, so the driver made us get down and we didnt have to pay. plus we get a ticket for a free ride. since we were at far east alr, i just took mrt...

got home, ate and slept! (: for two hours. then woke up to find my brother and father exterminating termites which had taken residence in a cupboard. then went for a swim, then dinner, then work, then yeah so on so forth. :P



today was even better... woke up, ate breakfast, went to school to do props for CXC. then went to lavender mrt for osl cultural immersion. quite fun lah, went to golden mile complex, did some games, ate the thai food, then went to army market. oh it's the most hilarious thing, we took like 10 mins to walk to golden mile from mrt, but we took nearly 30 mins to walk back? and guess why! haha cos roy was in front!! (haha sorry roy :P) okay okay, roy was NOT leading. xP poor roy, everyone suanned her! went back to school for debrief. then at 345 left for RS!

my wonderful group mates had forgotten to bring the most vital equipment - quadrats. please smack them for me. haha kay nvm, anyway yeah, so they called their father and everything, but couldnt find in time. when mr lim came, he was mad. well he didnt look mad, but we'll just assume he was. so we spent the rest of the time beach combing. or watever you call it. it was super fun! i'll update rs blog later, go read there. anyway, found lots of interesting stuff. bet you're jealous.

then had goreng pisang and drinks at the kopitiam near the main road, then went home, pick up my younger bro, went for dinner, then went to my aunt's house. for a super long time. then to my grandma house. then when i reached up, nearly 930. and proposal was due at 10pm. and to my horror, i found out that the other two hadnt done anything. cos one was on holiday :/ and the other, well it was more of my fault, cos i freaking forgot to attach the proposal -.-" kay nvm. anyway it's done.

anyway, yay, halloween party! (:

Thursday, October 25, 2007

high points:
1) haha the vid which mrs wee showed us(:
2) "batch" "outing"


low points:
1) break during lead camp
2) fam (we kena scolded :/)
3) my mom's angry for some reason or another...



i think s3 is a very trying and hectic and crazy year. my happiest and saddest times.




and i still cant believe it.




Wednesday, October 24, 2007

it's just so easy to fake a smile and pretend everything's fine, isnt it?
this says it all.



Bad Day

Where is the moment we needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to gray
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee you go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Because you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Will you need a blue sky holiday?
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oooh.. a holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

(yeah...)

So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day



not the whole day, just parts of it.



but it doesnt matter how i felt does it. everyone's just so concerned over what happened. well thanks.



you could have reduced me to tears.





i wish i could just drop everything, and hide in my bed. until everything's over. but no i know i cant. too much at stake, too much to do.

fam, osl, orientation, and last but not least odac.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

hmm. i want an emo buddy! then we can go around and emo together xP haha

and i want sweets and chocolates. i've run out of them. and i feel like eating sweets and choc nownownow!!!

and i need to go out and buy a certain something for a certain someone.

and i still need to write my long-overdue farewell letters.


meanwhile, i'll just wait.




anyway, merit cca day today, in my opinion, was quite screwed... :/ due to some unfortunate, unforeseen circumstances. well, let's just hope for the best tmr(:

and i cant rmb anything else that happened today... oh right, and i slept through some of the talks and *ah hem* farewell assembly rehearsal :P


tmr: osl pubs comm meeting (FINALLY.), pre lead camp, merit cca day, orientation sub comm ic meeting, fam avpa meeting (maybe).

actually i feel like running. or kayaking. or climbing. basically doing sth which odac does. NOT sitting in front of my comp and stoning while sucking a sweet...

Monday, October 22, 2007

am bored. have this nagging feeling that there's something i havent done :/

Part I - Lifeeee !
1> Name :
JocelynE Sze Shimin

2> Living in Reality or Fantasy :
Reality. kinda gave up on fantasy a long time ago.

3> Life or Death :
Life. dont exactly mind death though, in the sense that i wont be afraid, i guess?

4> Why ? :
cos i AM alive now, and might as well just make the best out of it xP

5> You spend most of your life :
thinking. or as parisa says, breathing.

6> Do you have a life :
not really, if you're talking about it in a social context. but yeah, more than some people i guess.

Part II - Family .
7> Name your biological family members :
Daddy, mummy, older brother, younger brother. if you're talking about immediate family members that is.

8> Name your other family :
ODAC. 307.

9> Which one do you love more ? :
Biological? i dno, they've been with me since i was born, and will be with me for a much longer time.

10> What would you do if anyone of them died :
cry. and yeah, i wont feel the same again.

11> Who's the prettiest in the family you stated :
eh, which family ah, biological or what? either way, haha shall not comment.

12> Who's the cutest :
shall not comment. although my juniors are all cute.

13> Who's the craziest :
hmm. at home we're all sane. in odac, i dno. wei? andrealim? in 307, haha deborah.

14> Who loves you most ? :
i dno. kinda hard to judge...

15> Who do you love most ? :
shall not comment.

Part III - Fortune & Fantasy .
16> Dream alot ? :
yeah, when i'm not sleep deprived.

17> Do you believe in Tarot Cards :
nope.

18> Like fantasy stories :
yeah, it's a form of escapism. just like this thing which i'm doing right now.

19> Do you want a unicorn :
there isnt one in the first place, and no i wouldnt want a pet or anything cos i wont be able to take care of it :/

20> Do you watch Harry Potter :
the movie? i think only when it's on channel 5, HAHA.

21> Do you read Harry Potter :
of course.

22> Harry Potter SUCKS , right ? :
shall not comment. i dont have a preference.

23> CAN YOU FLY ?! :
yeah, in my dreams.

24> If yes , where'ya fly to :
anywhere would be fine.

24> If no , WHYY ! :
cos i have this fear of falling.

Part IV - Anger .
25> How'd'ya normally get pissed :
hmm. when i'm extremely hungry. when i feel wronged. etc.

26> What do you do when you get angry :
it's quite obvious when i am. ignore people, or shout lor.

27> Are people scared of you when you're angry ? :
haha yes i think they are. and sometimes even when i'm not.

28> Are you easily angry :
hmmm. yeah, though i really try not to.

29> Who pisses you off most ? :
haha. wont comment cos there isnt such a person.

30> Who makes you happy when you're angry ? :
hmm anyone innocent, i dont really get angry at them... it's quite tough to get me out of my moods xP 100% out of my moods.

31> Are you vain ? :
i guess so, there's bound to be this part of anyone who's vain. but i'm not one who fusses over what i'm wearing kinda thing...

32> Are you SUPER SUPER vain ? :
no...

33> Name a person ( or a few ) who you think is very vain :
uh. i dno. brain's not really working. there's a reason why i'm doing this.

34> Number of piercings :
proud to announce ZERO.

35> Like looking good ? :
who doesnt.

36> Thin or fat ? :
i decline to comment, though i can virtually see what everyone's thinking when they read this.

37> Reason why you chose people at Q.33 :
didnt choose.

38> What you want them to do ? :
huh... looks arent all that matters lor, if there's anyone.

Part VI - Hatred.
39> Who do you hate ? :
hate's a strong word. i dont HATE anyone.

40> Why :
NA

41> Hate alot of people ? :
no -.-"

Part VII - This or that ?
42> Love or Hate :
love, duh.

43> Icecream or just Cream ? :
ICE CREAM. gosh, i do NOT like cream.

44> Depression or optimistition :
there's no such thing as optimistition... parisa you didnt do a typo did you? xP haha but yeah, duh, my blog title says it all...

45> Fly or walk :
walk.

46> Carbonated or Non-Carbonated drinks ? :
haha depends on mood.

47> Cookies or biscuits ? :
um. biscuits, i dont really like cookies, THOUGH I LIKE COOKIES AND CREAM ICE CREAM!

48> Baking or frying :
neither. i cant COOK for nuts.

49> iPod or Zen ? :
no preference. my current mp3's a bit spoilt, so i wouldnt mind anything.

50> Single or attached ? :
single.


haha kay i'm really bored. and i've still got this bad feeling that there's something very urgent due tmr...
hmm, i really enjoyed talking to Wan ling yesterday. odac #13, sec 4 when we were sec 1. haha i dno, just that being older, they have different perspective and well, just more comforting... so yep, feeling much better.

and yeah, things seem much better. i hope.

anyway, finally bothered to download the pics from my hp! (cos i wanted to update the osl blog...)


from psltc (whether preparation or the actual thing)















and from climbing with sihui and siling (the supposed batch outing)
siling













me













sihui













mind you, it was all the same insert, but look how siling stood xP haha kay shall not laugh at her... this route we were doing, called Purple Rain, was ranked 6a. and it was quite tough :/ we never quite progressed past 5c without cheating (ie sitting on rope, resting, and sometimes using other forms of aid :P) it was really quite fun... haha i wanna go back again(:


mm-hmm, that's about it(: cross my fingers and hope that merit cca day turns out fine!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

tell me everything will be fine.






i just cant wait for. cambodia.
ytd was fun, went climbing at Climb Asia. it's at Civil Servants Club, at Tessensohn Road. take mrt to farrer park, and just walk. quite cool, i realise our standard's (sihui, siling and i) more or less 5c-6a. and our endurance (as sihui corrected me) is quite poor. like we'll get tired easily. and we climbed sitting on the rope mostly :/ nevertheless, it was fun, i want to go back there again!



a lot of things on my mind lately. or rather, it's all about the same things. i'll be glad when it's all over.



you know, i think some people think it's nice sitting at the top of the ladder, but not really. havent you heard, that the people at the top are always the loneliest? and everything's a secret, and you'd just die from the stress and all. suddenly, today, i wonder if i'll suffer from a burn out next year, just get too stressed and freak out... i certainly hope i wont, but you never know..



Bad Day

Where is the moment when needed the most
You kick up the leaves and
the magic is lost
Tell me your blue skies fade to gray
Tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on

You stand in the line just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces every time
And I don't need no carryin' on

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work on a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and
you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on

You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work on a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and
you really don't mind
You had a bad day

(Oh.. Holiday..)

Sometimes the system goes on a blink
And the whole thing it turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong

So where is the passion when
you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and
the magic is lost

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

Had a bad day
Had a bad day
Had a bad day





maybe, if we could just go back to 5 months ago.

Friday, October 19, 2007

i should read chinese newspapers, speak chinese, write in chinese, blog in chinese etc. and haha i think i would blog in chinese, only ppl like reshmi and roy and razia and whoever else who doesnt learn chi wont be able to understand! ah wells, i guess i could always provide a translation and practice both eng and chi...

but it's rather hard to blog in chi... have to pre-plan what to type one... not like eng can just anyhow crap...


anyway, "batch" climbing tmr... if you call the 3 of us a batch... it's kind of dumb of me, really, to have expected a batch outing. i mean, all our busy and conflicting schedules and all...


kay reshmi wants me to blog about her... reshmi, is a *ahem* very nice and kind person, and she'll (nearly) always reply her messages, and she doesnt *ahem* insult *ahem* people... arghh, enough of the lying! haha we've decided that if on mon we can both go without insulting each other once, um, she'll treat me to BEN & JERRY'S COOKIES AND CREAM while i'll treat her bubble tea. HAHA xP so there nair! i blogged about you!!

haha kay shall go sleep soon.
today, was neutral. you know, like the acid and the base, they sorta cancel each other out, neutralisation reaction?

sspt was expected, cos my pts are never good... and as long as i get my 4.0, i dont rly mind.

then we had netball trng. quite fun, haha. yeah, played for a rather long time. would have rather played rugby, but since i'm not going to be in the team anyway:(

then spent time finding various teachers various reasons...

then went to check english papers. not that bad lah, though i was very nervous... managed to maintain my grade, at least. then chinese was a disaster. :/ shall not say anything more, except that i will study harder for chinese. and in case you're wondering, no i didnt fail it. just that, i dno, think i could have done better.

then yeah, had briefings and stuff.


i hate this kind of feeling. there is stuff that i have to do, but i cant do them now... must wait, and i rather hate waiting. :/ not to mention other stuff happenings...


quite glad about some, upset/worried about others. on a side note, do you think my spoken chinese is proficient?

Thursday, October 18, 2007

ahh, today's not a very good day, not good at all, compared to yesterday.

was feeling pseudo-emo last night, so i opened up my drawer of letters, from all the way in pri sch till now. made me feel better, looking at those letters and knowing that people actually took the time to wrote and send me letters. and it made me feel guilty, knowing that i have never done anything of the sort. (haha kelly khoo, if you're reading this, i found 3/4 of your letters to me!:D) i promise i'll do it next year!

so anyway, by the time i actually fell asleep, it was probably 1+. woke up at 6am cos my younger bro was serving mass (church service) then went to school. went to class, changed and went to find the rest (tessa, shaina, eunice, razia, reshmi and i dno who else) at the netball courts. and they refused to play rugby. :( they bluffed me, they said we'd play later, but we never did. and i never will play it again:(

then had a short match against some sec 2 classes, gosh we nearly lost horribly but yeah. went back to class, changed and got ready for geog.

barely passed geog, 15.5/30. well i guess it just goes to show that everyone's human, and i've got bad grades too. though if you compare my grades to people like yinyun and shaina, they're well, crap. mm anyway, yeah. cos i alr knew more or less my gpa, i wasnt too worried. bit emo, but yeah, who isnt?

went for recess. where i met mr tan, and he dropped 3 bombshells on me. right after my miserable geog test too. cos pre lead camp is the same time as interclass rugby, we have to go for pre lead camp and have to miss interclass rugby. and that's 11 of us in my class. our class is a goner for interclass rugby, we only have 5 forwards now and most of them are not used to playing forward...

merit cca day, which we intended to have climbing, abseiling and prussicking, the entire proposal has to be changed. cos there wont be teacher supervision. great. :/ so i'm really sorry, we'll have to disappoint.

gah, put me in such a... not bad, just emo mood for the rest of the day. so i emo-ed all the way till checking of chem and physics. thanks to roy for walking around the track with me(:

chem and physics werent bad, but i still wasnt very happy. made stupid mistakes, i guess. sigh.

then cos i was still feeling emo, went to sleep for half an hour. haha i think i must have scared quite a number of people, cos i was lying on the top of the table at a corner of the classroom, and it was dark and stuff, and they didnt notice me there xP haha.

anyway, woke up at 3, changed and went for odac. haha odac was quite good today, though i think i'm really really unfit. :/

went for some cambodian dance thing at the esplanade afterwards with juan. met up with lifang, cos juan had company. so the both of us (lifang and i) stood and tried to watch the dance. but this person came up and gave us a survey. so we spent most of our time doing the survey instead of watching the dance. but both of us were not very cultural people, so we didnt really like it. haha xP

then cos i hadnt eaten dinner, we went to suntec city. haha, the silly girl, she thought could walk by ground level. at first we went to basement, then cos she said ground level the air fresher (or sth like that) we went up, then we walked out. then we stood at the cross roads and realised the traffic lights were only meant for vehicles not people, so we went down again. haha, anyway we walked to suntec, then we went to basement, walked nearly one round around the fountain (cos we went wrong direction) and went to bk.

and we sat there for nearly an hour? i was eating, and chatting with her, and we talked about nonsensical stuff. srsly, whatever we said didnt really make sense. that's what so nice about her, cos we both dont really make sense. no expectations, nth. just a good friend.




i dont like expectations. first of all, it's because of expectations that i study so hard. not that i really study very hard. secondly, it's because of expectations that i worry about my results. it's because of expectations, that people think that you will always make it, that people take it for granted, that care and concern comes less often. that when you get bad grades, people get disappointed. but even when you get good grades, people dont say anything cos you're expected to get it.

i hope i havent disappointed anyone. except myself.




i wonder what they expect once odac becomes 100% merit.




and because of that, doesnt it become worse?

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Perfect

Hey Dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according
To plan?
Do you think I’m wasting
My time doing things I
Wanna do?
But it hurts when you
Disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t pretend that
I’m alright
And you can’t change me

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be
My hero?
All the days
You spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don’t
Care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I’m never gonna be good
Enough for you
I can’t stand another fight
And nothing’ alright

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

Nothing’s gonna change
The things that you said
Nothing’s gonna make this
Right again
Please don’t turn your back
I can’t believe it’s hard
Just to talk to you
But you don’t understand

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect

‘Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
Now it’s just too late
And we can’t go back
I’m sorry
I can’t be Perfect
hmm i guess there is much to blog about today. Blog Action Day and STAND UP/SPEAK OUT...

Blog Action Day, is meant for us to blog about how we should preserve nature, i guess. i dont fancy myself as a naturalist, i dont think i have the 资格 (qualified/qualification) to call myself one. but i do think that i could do something little, like, get people to PRINT EVERYTHING DOUBLE-SIDED, IN BLACK AND WHITE, AND SCALE IT TO 2 PAGES TO ONE SIDE OF PAPER. you'll really save a lot of paper, and LAZINESS SHOULD NOT BE AN EXCUSE. it does take me quite a lot of time to print stuff, cos of double-siding it, but i'd feel guilty wasting paper. AND WE SHOULDNT PRINT THINGS WHICH WE DONT EVEN NEED. like practice papers which we dont do, and the corresponding answer sheets. doesnt even make sense. and we shouldn't switch on the aircon on rainy days.

and i think most importantly, we should realise how beautiful our world, which is mostly limited to just SINGAPORE, really is. go visit these blogs. all their pictures were taken in SINGAPORE. and they're stuff which are usually EVERYWHERE, but we just OVERLOOK them, in our haste to get to somewhere when we dont even need to rush.

wildfilms
colourful clouds
tide chaser
urban forest
God's wonderful creations



and STAND UP SPEAK OUT is a campaign to reduce poverty in the world by getting people to STAND UP and getting our governments to do something about the poor. well i do think their efforts are admirable, and i guess they deserve our support, but i think we should take a more active role, no? just standing up, wearing white, seems passive. like, so what if i stand and wear white, the poor are still going to suffer... but i guess if you could get everyone to do that, the impact (now i know, there's no such word as impacts. funny, spell check doesnt even know that.) would be great, and people would take notice. haha i think rg has lots of projects and campaigns...

right, i'm going to watch tv now xP
i'm awfully bored nowadays. stuff to do, but have to wait for others, so. still nothing. i swear, the teachers' email all have problems. emailed 3, and received reply from none. or maybe they're all just ignoring me. fine, i shall not hallucinate and make wild guesses.

i dunno, i feel like i've gone back to may/june, when my thoughts, emotions were taking a rollercoaster ride. maybe it comes with exams. or something else. expectations. but there's something different this time. that you aren't here. that you are here. that, everything's just different.

anyway i guess i should be feeling honoured. just like that time in May/June. i'm always wondering why, and i never get my answers. maybe i'll just be kept like that till forever.

ahhaha, we'll have rugby/net prac tmr! so exciting, cant wait for it. now that i know more or less my gpa, still quite excited about getting back my papers (xP) but haha, not really panicking anymore. i just hope i wasnt one of those people who made up words, whose grammatical structure was very bad, who just scored very low in english. :/

sigh, why am i feeling bored, when i shouldnt be? i think everything's just ironic.


I’m Just a Kid

(verse 1)
I woke up it was seven
Waited till eleven
Just to figure out that no one would call.
I think I got a lot of friends
But I don’t hear from them.
What’s another night all alone?
When your spending every day on your own
And here it goes ..

Chorus
I’m just a kid and life is a nighmare
I’m just a kid and I know that it’s not fair
Nobody cares cause I’m alone and the world
Is havin’ more fun then me

(verse 2)
And maybe when the night is dead
I’ll crawl into my bed
Staring at these four walls again
I’ll try to think about the last time
I had a good time ,
Eveyone’s got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own
And here it goes

I’m just a kid and life is a nightmare
I’m just a kid and I know that it’s not fair
Nobody cares cause I’m alone and the world
Is havin’ more fun then me

What the f*** is wrong with me?
Don’t fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?

Wide awake I’m bored and I can’t fall asleep
And everynight is the worst night ever

I’m just a kid (just a kid) x5

Im just a kid and life is a nightmare
Im just a kid and I know that it’s not fare

Nobody cares cause I’m alone and the world is ..
Nobody wants to be alone and the world

I’m just a kid and life is a nightmare
I’m just a kid, I know that it’s not fair
Nobody cares cause I’m alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares cause I’m alone and the world is
Having more fun than me, tonight

I’m all alone ...
Tonight
Nobody cares...
Tonight
Cuz I’m just a kid, tonight



Look what you've Done

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems likes such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

ahh. so we finally got back our bio and math papers. haha except for the FPS girls, so poor thing. haha. cant say i'm disappointed, i can think of a whole list of people who cant wait to murder me if i say that... but yeah, i'm sorry to say this, but i didnt get my 4.0 for math :(

anyway, haha 307 and 310 people managed to see our GPAs! hahaha, cos ms doreen tan didnt come, and the teacher didnt use the class list, but some other list (you know the one they give you to sign? the computer printed out one) then behind that, attached was our overall grades for each subject and our gpa. but it was before moderation... so yeah, there's still that tiny element of surprise xP haha my gpa was, better than expected. you know, there was this period of time when eunice and i were crazy over our gpas and i kept calculating all the possibilities, and i surmised that the highest gpa i could ever get was 3.__. and i didnt expect to get it anyway, but haha i managed to get higher xP unless they'll moderate down, that is.

anyway my dad's calling, gotta eat dinner.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

and i'm posting for a third time today, cos i'm bored. cos i want to sleep, but i cant sleep (ie insommia. i just realised that while talking to juan) prob cos of THE STUPID EXAMS! IT'S STILL HAUNTING ME!!!!

gah, and i really want to sleep like now, cos i dont want to think about anything. about that weird offer, about tmr, about my cousin who's staying till the end of the week but my parents didnt bother telling me, about my mom who just totally made me go home today despite the rain and the darkness and my HUNGER, about anything and everything!

and while talking to nair, i realise sth. that i get exam nerves or however you call it, ONLY AFTER THE FREAKING PAPERS ARE OVER. i dont think there's anyone as dumb as me. i'm prob going to get psychological stomachaches tmr, or sth like that. gah.

ahhh i'm really really scared for tmr. and thu. and fri. i dont care if the whole world thinks i'll do okay, cos i can imagine very clearly, me both doing very very badly and doing well. AHHHH

AHHHHHHHHHHH. srsly, i think i need someone to sedate me. ARGHHHH. breath in, breath out. breath in, breath out. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! where's the sleeping pills?!?!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! where's the doc, i shall go buy mc for tmr. but then it'll be dragged even longer, and i'll just suffer for a longer time, so maybe not. AHHHHHHHHHH, no srsly, i'm starting to panic.


kk, i shall go upstairs eat waffles now. my mom bought this 3-in-1 thing, can make sandwich, waffles and grill.....
quote of the day:
lifang says:
YAY I LOVE JOCELYNE! SHE'S A NICE PERSON WHO IS NOT DUMB AND NOT LAME!


xP so there.


haha bet nair's jealous cos i didnt quote her.. haha xP




"Truly Madly Deeply"

I'll be your dream
I'll be your wish I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong I will be faithful
'cause I'm counting on
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning, yeah

[chorus:]
I want to stand with you on
a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me

And when the stars are shining
brightly in the velvet sky,
I'll make a wish send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the
pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the
comfort and protection of

The highest powers
In lonely hours
The tears devour you

[chorus]

Oh can you see it baby?
You don't have to close your eyes
'Cause it's standing right
before you
All that you need will surely come

I'll be your dream I'll be your wish
I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do

[chorus]

I want to stand with you on a
mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to live like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me




think i should get a start on those farewell letters :/ thought of what to write ytd.
PSLTC part I today! haha it was quite fun, although i was quite zonked out at the start... you know, nowadays i realise that even when i'm tired, i cant sleep... like on the bus? :(

yepp urban hike definitely hyped me up(: my group's cool too! haha of cos, there's me in it xD just joking! haha nair and yenlin are very amusing co-facils. more or less :P looking forward to part II haha yeah and i also took pics... and again, i shall post up another day. too nervous bout checking papers tmr...

ahh my mommy made me go home myself today, it was 715pm, it was RAINING, it was DARK and most importantly, i was HUNGRY. and that's never a good thing. cos it makes me grumpy. gah. so i got wet, despite my umbrella. and the bus was cold, but who cares, i'll just fall ill... then i went to buy currypuff from old changkee's (or however you spell it) cos if i waited till i reached home, i'd have died from hunger.

nowadays, i dont feel ... good after eating something rather oily. maybe i'm allergic to oil xP haha i DONT wish... nvm it'll prob pass...

and today's lunch was disgusting. grossest i've eaten. jo ou says she found a chicken feather in her chicken wing!

anyway, yeah. tmr's bio and math, and i dont wanna think about it.

Monday, October 15, 2007

since the tag board is blocked, i shall blog some more...

i think this year's the best year i've had in rg... sec 1 was... not very nice... sec 2 was good(: but sec 3's the best! haha i like my class anyway:D

oh man, i feel like the year's going to end soon...

osl, havent even actually started.. the actual thing... but so far i think it's been rather cool(: least i still got to talk to lifang and stuff, since she's in another class now...

psb, was a good opportunity, to learn and grow and be more mature. i hope i did anyway :P it was quite... actually, seeing as i wasnt really doing anything big... like, the most i did was psl sessions proposals? but still, at the end it was rather unexpected. and expected, though i still wonder why. and spsb will be, well another journey(: i think it'll be a good one.

congress, was rather quiet... didnt really do much either, though i liked facilitating CCDs xP

FAM, hasnt actually started either, and thus far, i also havent done anything. i suspect people think i'm very busy cos i have a rather lot of commitments, so they give me little or less things, so anyway, i end up doing nth. -.-"

ringers, was very good. i loved it, my best year in the past few years. it's like what they say, the more you give, the more you get back. this year was my most committed year (i mean, my odac attendance was like >50%?!?) SYF was fantastic, so was concert and speech day(: though i think juniors played a larger part than my actual batch, in me liking ringers. (well there's a reason why i joined psb?)

odac, i didnt really go much this year, cos of ringers. hongkong was great, of course. but i think there's sth really different from last year. less batch activity perhaps? the addition of a new member, plus our busy and conflicting schedules. my batch plays a large part in my life too, i must say. or maybe used to. dno, like i said, everything changed. and maybe not for the better.

guess that's about it. i dno, i guess this year was full of ups and downs, to both extremes at that. learnt new stuff, regretted some stuff, improved in certain aspects and went the other was instead in others. all in all, a rather fruitful year, and i hope the same can be said of next...

well sihui's complaining now that the album cut off the tagboard, so i shall post this now.
ahh photobucket is so annoying, how come so large one? -scowls-

anyway, haha today was quite cool lah, for all it took my whole afternoon(: got lots of pics of our lunch... haha xP shall post it another day... then anyway, the whole thing was quite cool... though it was raining and i was a bit tired and everything(:

meeting with my pri 6 mates was quite fun(ny) haha, we were all laughing AT Kelly. see there used to be 4 of us, wenjia, wenxin, kelly and i. wenjia went to AHS, then to NJC. she's a netballer. she's tall, and she's like dao. xP wenxin went to DHS. she has a boyfriend called Sam and he's in Band. yeah right... kelly went to cedar. she's a cheerleader. (you'll laugh if you see her and she said she's a cheerleader...) and she says everyone in her sch is slow. so yeah, we went to macs at parkway building, and spent most of the time chatting about other school mates and yeah, laughing at kelly. she's like a walking joke! hahah xP we shall go kayaking one day.

and let's have a batch outing to go climbing this sat! so exciting(:

kay, tmr's psltc part I tmr, should go sleep early.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

307 pics!

Photobucket Album
today was fun(: haha actually i was feeling quite down during church, cos my friend pangsei-ed me and didnt turn up, but haha deb's party was great(:

we went bowling (i assure you, i'm a GENIUS at bowling. yeah.) then we ate, then we bowled, then we swam, then we ate again, then i left. haha. doesnt sound much, but it was super fun. i think it's not what you do, but WHO you do it with :D

anyway, dang it, i wish it wasnt then. this week would have been a blast... disregarding the checking of papers...

meeting up with pri sch mates tmr evening, and if tues hadnt been psltc, i could have gone out with batch or with 201. but anyway. batch outing on this sat (haha not that we told the rest xP sorry sihui! haha you can find out now!)

anyway, i think post eyas will be the best ever! INTERCLASS RUGBY!! <3 my class is so gonna beat the rest! haha we hope we will lah, at least xD

Saturday, October 13, 2007

today, is family day. while roy, soffia and razia are happily collecting their money, i woke up at 1030, picked up my younger bro from tuition and went to plaza sing for lunch with my parents. then, we walked to the National Museum of Singapore (or maybe it's singapore national museum...) and walked around there for a few hours... then we walked back to plaza sing, bought some stuff at carrefour, and went to bedok reservoir to check out the forest adventure thing. haha quite cool lah, that. bout the same as the one we did at yishun last year during lead camp. though i think that was scarier. haha there were lots of little kids and someone was having a party there... there was this cute little boy, 6 years old, he was too short, so he had difficulties moving the safety thingy attached to the cable... it kept getting stuck at the turning points (goodness, math!)
him crossing. haha so cute right...

there this is where he keeps getting stuck.. poor boy, he had to wait for the girl behind him to help him...
then after that we were walking back to the carpark, when we saw this guy throwing sticks into the rental for kayaks compound... i wondered what he was doing, and i realised there was a monkey there. the monkey, had a HANDPHONE.
where i first saw it... it was jumping from roof to roof. the hp's in the mouth, if you cant see it.
it's biting the phone... no idea why, maybe it tot it was a juicy fruit and it had to break the shell...


now it's fiddling with the phone... can you see it?? it's sihui's model xP
anyway after that he dropped the phone, accidentally. the guy we saw throwing the stick just now chased the monkey away, climbed over the gate and took the phone. eww, monkey saliva...

anyway, got home, and went to sleep xP haha, yeah i know i'm a lazy bum. but well, odac on thu!(: i think this post eya will be the most exciting one ever... our year is org so many stuff! inter class rugby (brain child of 307! <3), merit cca day (robotics chair/vice chair!) and rgscansing or sth like that (i dno who xP haha but jiawen's in it...) haha aint that cool? (: not that i'm intending to join the singing competition...

yay, going for deb's party tmr! haha it'll be fun(:

Friday, October 12, 2007

today was such a .... day. went for facilitation training in the mornin for psb, not bad lah... haha my pic was super weird...
the ones in LIGHT blue were drawn by me, pink is laura, and sth nair, the dark purple (actually it looks like dark blue here) was by jo ho, light purple by violetlee, orange by a jpsl, yellow and green as well.... and one more! but i cant rmb>< sorry! haha it's hideous isnt it! and the rabbit's supposed to be playboy or sth, so nair wrote PB there. then i saw it and thought of like you know, prefect the PB? so i wrote an S in. hahah xP

then i was SUPPOSED to go out with thaiweiwei but the stupid girl, she got dental appointment at 2:( so i didnt have anyone to go out with. (nair also went out on a date with her mom:( ) saw juan in the canteen, so i went to talk to her... then sat with her till her year meeting started... i was trying to convince her to get her ears pierced! :( please help me convince her! hahah, cos my mom's going to take me to pierce my ears, and i want her to do it too! (and i heard the most wonderful news from her. least to me it was xD) anyway, so after that, i went to find my parents at suntec, went shopping (at carrefour) with them, then went to pick my younger bro and my friend's younger sis (cos they're both at the same sch, duh, and cos she stays near me) so yeah. went home, slacked around then went for a swim with my bro.

i swear, he's very stupid. he asked me to teach him how to swim butterfly stroke. haha not that i'm very good at it, but well better than him at any rate. he's so dumb!! the whole time i was teaching him, the moment he came up to take a breath, the first thing i said to him was "you stupid boy..." heh xD i bet the other pool go-ers thought i was some abusive sister... didnt really mean it lah, but he took it in stride anyway xD he was grinning merrily away while i scolded him.. i bet he purposely act stupid one, so annoying... first time i was swimming for months, anyway...

exams are really fattening... and before you all tell me, i dont mean i like GREW fatter, but that my muscles all turned to lipids (ie, glycerol and 3 fatty acids) so. i think i should start exercising. hahah, yeah. like i actually will lah, seeing as i am a naturally very lazy person...

:D deb's "birthday" party on sun! haha so exciting... IF people would actually go lah. cos so far response is like. yinyun, eunice and me. though i HOPE other people told deb straight(: haha(:

and i suddenly realise why people actually watch tv! it's cos they have nth to do!! :P haha, a bit slow lah, me... cos i usually never watch, then now i watch a lot see? but :/ not for a long time anyway.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

whoooo! exams are OVER! :P let's all celebrate!

hahah today was funn!! after math, we stayed back to talk a bit about INTERCLASS RUGBY!!! so excited. anyway yeaa! date will be disclosed to the rest of the classes soon:D hahah cant wait for it man(:

then tessa, shaina, kalya and i were going out! when shaina got called to the dentist... roy was with us, but her daddy came to fetch her 5 mins later... anyways, when shaina finally got back from the dentist, we went out!

went to lido, liang zi, jin yu, yi fan and their friend wei ling came and we watched Mr. Woodcock from 1130 to 1... ate lunch inside... haha it was quite funny, but i didnt really like it.. anyway after that, tessa and shaina had to leave for some emergency procedure talk until 3, so the rest of us went to heerens. supposed to take neo print, but kalya and i opted out when we reached. haha they spent a very long time there lor, then hahah at the end, liang zi's tie changed colour with the background! haha i say the purple tie was the nicest! xP anyway, after that jin yu, yi fan and weiling left for the library, and we went to cathay. WE WALKED THERE, FROM HEERENS. wah seh, by the time i reach there, tired alr lah. cant wait for training (HEH)

we went to ben and jerry's! haha ordered ice cream and snapple. OH GOODNESS, cos i didnt know whether to say snapple first or grape, and i ended up saying SNAPE! oh man, the person tot i was siao or sth, then kalya and liangzi was laughing at me :( anyway, so we ate. and finished it. and still, tessa and shaina didnt come... haha i was like thinking, i think go sleep wake up, they still not there lah. then they came! haha(: tessa ordered a shake, then after that we sat there talking for ages about all sorts of random stuff, then we went to plaza sing to buy banner for class banner! hahahah(: then after that, went to comics connection (i stood outside :P) then went home!!!!:D haha i was soooo tired by then. cos i missed my afternoon nap xD

haha yea so i got home after that. that's that! haha although maybe it doesnt sound much to those who go out everyday ah, haha i enjoyed myself(: haha kalya is super cute! :D


:D i love post eyas! watched BOTH 7pm and 9pm drama lah. hahah but then after checking of papers, then the responsibilities start trickling in again:( ah wells.



ahhhaha, just changed my blog title and url, hahaha sorry to those with an aversion to math! couldnt help it :P


<3 307 and 101! my sec 1 class is zai and pro-ed and hahah it's all thanks to our great influence xP

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

today's the most annoying day i ever had in ages. goodness, i was SOO annoyed. (annoyed is just a nicer word for pissed)
physics was okay, think i wont do well though.. ah well, when we get back our papers then i'll worry about that xP got home bout 11, read newspaper, slept for bout an hour, showered, ate lunch, attempted to look through my roots ws. then rmb i had to do tuition hw. couldnt do it anyway. and she didnt check -.-"
tuition at 3. it's the most annoying tuition i ever had. we did math for 3 hours straight, lifang and i. yea well, we talked and stuff, but by 430 we were sick of math and terribly hungry. at 530 we told our tuition teacher that we were hungry and she said she'll get biscuits. then she went off to attend to some other students, and forgot all about us. wow, thanks. yea, and the majority of her other students were these bunch of sec 2 boys, and they were TERRIBLY ANNOYING! OH MY GOODNESS, I TOTALLY COULDNT STAND THIS ONE BOY. i think he has ADHD or some kind of disorder, goodness. totally irritating. anyway he left at bout 545. and after that 3 hour of math, our teacher didnt even go through the answers to see if we did them right, and she didnt even explain the questions we didnt know how to do properly! goodness, so annoying. then my mom called and told me that they were all out buying some printer. so i had to walk home, or wait for some 30 mins. duh i chose the former.
so i walked home with this totally "dont piss me" look, haha i think some of the passers-by were uh.. haha yeah. and i didnt have my wallet, which has my house key, so i sat by the pool side for another half an hour or so, waiting for my parents to drop by to pass me the key before they went for dinner outside. and if you dont know me, when i'm hungry, i'm very easily pissed/annoyed. and i was VERY HUNGRY by then. so i attempted to do some questions which i didnt finish during tuition. it goes "given that sin (pi/3) = root3/2 and cos(pi/2) = root2/2, express [sin(4pi/3) + 3cos(pi/4)] / [cos(pi/4) - sin(4pi/3)]. so i tried to do it, until i realised that the question wasnt complete. they didnt say express that in what. like simplest form or whatever. grr, so annoying. so i gave up (cos anyway it was too dark) and sat stoning there. there were a couple of boys playing football. and yeah, they were annoying too. their vocab was limited to "wah lao, where did you kick the ball to lah" and some other expletives/demeaning words.
finally got the key, and i heated up some leftover food. and sat in front of the tv. and ate, well least with my stomach full, i wasnt so grumpy. but i realised my irritating younger brother misplaced the remote control, SO IRRITATING lah, so i was stuck with watching channel 8 and channel 5. then i was watching "live the dream" (i tot it was quite... weird) then my family came home so i had to go off and do math. only now, they're all upstairs watching the channel 8 9pm show, so yeah.

i wish i could go on strike and not study math anymore. but i'm quite sure i'll fail. i feel rather un-confident of tomorrow's test :/ please dont let it be difficult!


thanks to reshmi who "accompanied" me while i was stuck outside my home(: haha she wants to cut a fringe tmr, and she wants me to cut it too. she wanted to get roy to do it, but i persuaded her not to. hahaha imagine, roy would put a bowl on reshmi's head and just cut around it :P



i'll pretend math doesnt exist for a while. only it's staring right at my face when i look down... and i STILL CANT DO THE ROOTS QUESTIONS. please prepare boxes of tissue during checking of papers next week.



"I'm Waiting"

One question what can't be done
You tear me down with the same thing
There's nothing the end, it's begun
What can you do when it all drains

Down there, you go always
See if I care faded
Down, don't you know where I'll be
'Cuz I'm here, on my own

Waiting, when I'm waiting
(don't you know)
I've been here before, and I don't care where I'm going
So I'll stay...

When you walk don't leave a note
Just put your hands on the back door
When you talk it's just a joke
Just know, I can't take it anymore

Down there, you go always
See if I care faded
Down, don't you know where I'll be
'Cuz I'm here, on my own

Waiting, when I'm waiting
(don't you know)
I've been here before, and I don't care where I'm going
So I'll be, waiting (waiting)
When I'm waiting (don't you know)
I'll tell you once more
That, as long as you're gone

Then I'll stay...
Outside there's no place I can hide
And your "down time"
Is anything but right
When the winds rise
This storm won't subside
You'll be outside
I'm in here and I'll guard

Waiting, when I'm waiting
(don't you know)
I've been here before, and I don't care where I'm going
So I'll be, waiting (waiting)
When I'm waiting (don't you know)
I'll tell you once more
That, as long as you're gone

Then I'll stay...
Then I'll stay
Then I'll stay
And you'll go then I'll stay
Stay...

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

oh yeah, only 2 papers left! haha i'm happy!:D though haha as usually i fell asleep doing chinese paper 2 :P ah wells, not my fault it's so boorrringg xP nevertheless, i go out with full gusto on the qn "do you think it's a burden to be learning our traditions and culture?", talking about how of course it's not a burden, it's an honour, yada yada yada... cos it is! right? :D we're all pro-chinese supporters!

physics tmr! hmm, i hope it isn't going to be that difficult... cos i'm not intending on spending much time on it/doing the practice papers... and math the day after! dang, my quadratic functions and roots are SO bad :( can you imagine, we spend all those hours (razia and i calculated, i think we spend roughly 150 hours studying math :/) studying, and it all culminates in being stuck in a classroom with perfectly arranged tables and chairs for 2 hours... it's like some sort of climax yea... everything that we study for just ends, now.





Move Along - The All-American Rejects
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking 
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along



i realise it helps, humming a tune in your head while you do your
paper... maybe cos like you know, following the tempo, so you do faster
as well... heh, cos i finished my chem in an hour! :P dno if that's a
good sign or bad though....

Thursday, October 04, 2007

oh joy. first paper over! haha not that it was very well done, but well point is, IT IS OVER! :D 6 more to go -.-" ah wells.

geog and bio tmr!! geog + bio = DIE! cos you see, there's so much to memorise for both. arghs:/ back to mugging then! exam stresss! causes you to become slightly crazy :D and causes pimple break out! looking forward to this time, NEXT WEEK! who wants to go out with me after math on thursday!! :P




"Shine On"

Please don't cry
You know I'm leaving here tonight
Before I go I want you to know that there will always be a light

And if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away

So many times I'd planned
To be much more than who I am
And if I let you down I will follow you 'round until you understand

That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away

When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone

So please don't cry
Although I leave you here this night
Where ever I may go how far I don't know
But I will always be your light

That if the moon had to runaway
And all the stars didn't wanna play
Don't waste the sun on a rainy day
The wind will soon blow it all away

When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone
When the days all seem the same
Don't feel the cold or wind or rain
Everything will be okay
We will meet again one day
I will shine on, for everyone

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

last day of school! official lessons, at least. haha that atmosphere was distinctly after-exams like, not at all like the day before THE exams :P it was very slack too xD

first was english. and how tough can english get? of course, i'm not saying i'm very good at it, i only got 8/25 for the stupid passage on media violence :/ ah wells. next block was supposed to be geog, but cos ms pang said she didnt need it, so she gave it to ms siow. so we waited for ms siow. in the meantime, went walking around and slacking. and after that, shimin came out of her class for a pee, and i found out that ms siow was teacher HER class. i told my class, who were like "wth!?" so tessa and shaina went to demand a reason and tell her how "irresponsible she is". haha shaina was so mad! but anyway, so we got a free block xP then recess, then chinese! ooh, that was fun, lu lao shi came with a bag of foodstuff! he gave out prizes, to yinyun, tessa and shaina, cos they were the only ones who did the book review thing, and to zhang yue in appreciation of being our wonderful class rep. then we had chocolates and chips! haha very fun(: then came math, and yea, usual lah. then was cle, and we had cake! ms lim is so nice(: haha spent the rest of the lesson eating cake and cam-whoring (refering to deb specifically :P) haha so all in all, it was a very fun and eventful last day of school!

i've got a very holiday mood now:D haha bye bye english, bio and geog :/ i dont know what to study!!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

was just reading a back-dated post by Ms Ria Tan, part of teamseagrass, and it's really sad and shocking.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Mone not enough

Apologies, it's hard to think of a less corny blog title after four back-to-back predawn trips and having to suddenly look after twice as many cats who don't much like one another.

Anyway, early this morning, we were out to scout more of Changi for sea anemones, in preparation for the visit by world anemone expert Daphne Fauntin.

Alas, there were very few anemones where we went. I saw only two small swimming anemones, and one small tiger anemone.There were quite a few carpet anemones though. Some were tiny, others were larger (see the seagrass leaves in the photos for scale).For some reason, unlike the carpet anemones on Chek Jawa, those on Changi tend to have large anemone shrimps on them. There was a pair on this anemone that was still expanded as the waves sloshed over it.The bigger one is mama shrimp!For some reason, this part of Changi has lots of special crabs. We've only seen this colourful moon crab on Changi, and haven't seen them this year until now.As I walked in the dark, I nearly bumped into the most gigantic crab I have even seen. I think both of us startled one another. It must have been nearly 30cm wide including pincers. I think it's probably a mud crab (Scylla sp.)Another mutual surprise was my encounter with a cuttlefish! After a few rapid colour and pattern changes, it zoomed away into the murky water.I was wondering where all the sea urchins we saw about two weeks ago had gone. Then realised they were hiding!
The above lump of assorted living and dead stuff looked very suspicious. Gently turning it over revealed a pair of white sea urchins (Salmacis sp.?)I'm not sure what's going on between them. But like people, animals sometimes also gather together to feed. It's not always just to make babies :-)

Chay Hoon found a fang blenny!Needless to say, this fish has a powerful chomp. So fingers were kept well away. I've only seen it one other time at Pulau Semakau.

My find of the day was this amazing Lined moon snail (Natica lineata). This is the first time I've seen a living one! How beautiful the entire animal is! It's a pity such snails are collected and killed just for their shells.
All too soon, it was sunrise, and what a glorious one too!For some reason, most collectors appear on the shore near sunrise. We chatted with this pair of young guys. They had a large plastic bag with a pair of large horseshoe crabs and lots of crabs. They said they were going to eat them all, including the horseshoe crabs. All our horseshoe crabs are listed among the threatened animals of Singapore.This lone older guy was already on the shore for some time. We noticed, he also stopped to take a photo of the sunrise. We approached him and he had a bag full of stuff in one hand, and in the other, a large Bailer snail!
The Bailer snail (Melo melo) is listed among the threatened animals of Singapore. We have never seen a living Bailer snail besides at Beting Bronok. He allowed us to take a photo of it. We asked and he said he was going to eat it. We explained it was rare and asked him to leave it behind, but he just walked away. He wouldn't show us what else he had in his bag.

Is this the last Melo melo on Changi?

We were debating about whether to post about the Melo melo.

If we did, people might actually come look for and remove these beautiful and rare snails. But if we didn't, no one would know that our shores are slowly disappearing into cooking pots.

Recently, it was reported that Malaysia could clone endangered leatherback turtles that face extinction because they "have been hunted for their meat and shells and many get entangled and die in fishing nets in the sea". It is tragic that we only appreciate what we have lost after we have eaten and carelessly killed the last of a special creature.

See also

14 comments:

JC said...

Sure din know there are ppl that are collecting wild animals for food. I wonder if the Singapore's Wild Animals and Birds Act (Chapter 351), http://www.ava.gov.sg/NR/rdonlyres/0CA18578-7610-4917-BB67-C7DF4B96504B/8736/Attach73_legislation_WildAnimalsandBirdsAct.pdf covers them.

tamm said...

That's heartbreaking. All over the world, ignorance is destroying nature. Sad to say it, but education is the only way... we make fun of Singapore's campaigns, but they work.

But we all know that it boils down to financial motivation...

(an ex-Singaporean who saw this post on tomorrow.sg)

Readymade said...

I doubt these people are collecting the animals for food. In particular the Melo Melo. Most likely an excuse.

Short of punishment, I don't know how else to stop these poachers.

charcoal.satsuma said...

we should have rights to do a citizen's arrest on such people. thanks for looking out for our natural heritage

gnauhCeeY said...

Wow! This is soooo cool! Didn't know that the sea in changi is teaming with life... Is changi the only beach on mainland that's still so wonderful?

ria said...

Yes, we do have some laws to protect our wildlife in general.

And yes, enforcement is an issue.

But at heart, I believe the people who collect do appreciate our shores. If perhaps it is expressed in a rather selfish manner.

I am sure they too will be sad if our shores are devastated due to over-collection or other natural and man-made disasters.

The tricky part is encouraging a more positive appreciation of our shores so that everyone can continue to enjoy them, and their children and theirs.

Yes, there are marvellous shores on Singapore's mainland. Besides Changi, Labrador is also rich in marinelife. And our islands have wonderful marine life too!

Just browse entries on this blog, or the selection of entries about our wild shores on the right column of this blog from the wildsingapore google reader.

There is much to do to raise awareness and bring about greater appreciation of our shores.

You CAN make a difference!

(a) Stop being a part of the problem.
(b) Start being a part of the solution.

Visit our shores. Share about what you've seen. Bring your friends to see our shores for yourself.

Speak up for our shores.

Act for our shores; join any of the many volunteer groups that are working for our shores.

More links on how to do these on the wildsingapore website.

Kevin said...

How many snails can a lonely old guy eat as compared to the large number of rare snails and marine eco-system totally destoryed by local reclamation.

You don't blame a smoking old man for the greenhouse effect do you? Or blame an old lady cooking her dinner with coal for the hole in the ozone? If you do, you might as well ban charcoal BBQ all together.

Find the root cause and solve the real issue.

ria said...

I do agree that one snail-eater eating one snail will not destroy the shore. Even if the snail he eats is the last rare snail on that shore.

The real issue is excess, which is the root cause of much of our environmental situation.

While one person alone may cause only limited damage, many doing so can have a significant and longlasting impact.

Just as one farmer clearing a small patch of forest may not bring air traffic to a halt or affect business earnings kilometres away, many doing so at the same time can have a large and long effect.

I believe even reclamation of good shores is largely a result of the lack of awareness.

Reclamation on Chek Jawa was deferred when there was awareness of its richness.

It was a bit too late for the shores affected by the Sentosa IR reclamation, but still, awareness resulted in some effort to save some of the shore.

There is much to do to raise awareness and bring about greater appreciation of our shores.

And in raising awareness one person CAN make a difference.

Just as many individuals doing their own thing can cause multiplied harm, I believe many individuals doing the right thing can together bring about a better situation.

haojie said...

I don't see this as a an either or issue. Can't we do both - work on educating the government and on individual members of the public at the same time? Government and big businesses are the big culprits but they are also the tough nuts to crack. Individuals have a relatively smaller footprint, but are easier to win over one by one. And the best part is that winning over the individuals is actually an effective way (certainly more effective than writing letters, in my opinion) of eventually getting governments and big businesses to change their mindsets through the expressions of voter and consumer preferences.

On the issue of whether poaching shellfish is an office, I'm not sure if the Wild Animals and Birds Act was ever intended to cover non- terrestial 'animals' (see s 2 of the Act for the definition), but shell would be covered in s 14 of the State Lands Encroachment Act

ria said...

Yes, most definitely. We can and we ARE doing both!

Shopping Bag said...

Can I bring my shopping bag? The anemone will be good for laksa. The crab can be steamed in ginger garlic. Where is this place? Got buses there or not? One shopping bag enough or mone enough? I am hungry! Going downstairs for laksa with anemones!

Changi mone enough said...

When will you people going to changi? Email me! monenotenough@yahoo.com Mone not not enough! Must bring more Sheng Siong shopping bags and my raincoat, spades and tongs. Swimming trunk got to bring?

whatafish said...

wow! I will bring my castnet! Looks like a heaven for fishes. That cuttlefish looks delicious.

ria said...

These comments clearly illustrate the challenges that our shores face.

Sigh.

I suppose when the last crab, cuttlefish and fish has been eaten, we can eat plastic bags?





from her wildfilms blog. i hope the last few comments were jokes. it's quite gross really, how this people think. and sickening. anyway, back to geog :/