In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Monday, December 31, 2007


"Graduation (Friends Forever)"

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real blue
Stay at home talking on the telephone
We would get so excited and we'd get so scared
Laughing at ourselves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

[Chorus] - As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come Whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can Heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

[Repeat Chorus]

La, la, la, la:
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la:
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

[Repeat Chorus x3]

what the freak, i typed some stuff and it's all gone, cant be bothered to re-type it. main point is:
Happy New Year!



-still cant believe that you wont be around anymore


okay today was spent sleeping in, then going to beach road just to pass SOMEBODY a miserable 2 zig markers, they had better use it lor... then met up for my cookie (like finally!:D) then spent the evening with pri sch mates, and the first 33 mins of 2008. not a bad day lah.

will go cycling with family tmr, then spent the rest of the day studying math T.T

quite looking forward to school xD sorry, i know this is a crime, but i sorta miss seeing everyone, and my brain's dying from lack of use (i've forgotten everything, bio, chem, physics, math, EVERYTHING! D:)

hope this year wont be as short as last year (i can remember everything that happened in 2007!) Wales was fun, Hong Kong, Malacca and Cambodia! arghhh!!! i want tioman next year!!!!! i remember orientation07, psc, icyl, the decisions of whether to continue a second term and how much i want to commit and to whom, and everything. and i dno, i guess i kinda of like what i got in the end, though it may not be the most prestigious or anything, but it's what it means to me that counts right? and odac means a lot to me. :/ ah wells, i accept anything that comes my way, so i'm satisfied and counting my blessings everyday.

each night before i sleep, i thank the Lord for all that i have, cos i think i am indeed, very lucky.



Happy New Year to the kids in Cambodia and Thailand!

i really miss the little kids :(


ohh! the post i wrote before wasnt deleted :D

"
Happy New Year to all(:

2008's finally here... actually i can hardly imagine how this year would be like, cos it'll be very different. but it'll prob be as short as 2007 was, time flies really fast.

so i spent the first 33 mins of the new year with my pri sch mates, quite funny. cos they are all quite retardly funny xD

going cycling with my family tmr, then back to studying for MATH T.T

quite looking forward to the new school year, cos there's orientation!(:

and so many sec 1s i sorta know (like friend's sister, mom's friend's daughter, tuition teacher's students etc) going to rgs this year, though i cant recognise any..."



Sunday, December 30, 2007

i'm so used to sleeping late now, that when my mom says she's going to sleep at 12 midnight, i tot it was still early, until i looked at the clock...
which is bad, cos sch's starting in a miserable 2 days' time... and i need my sleep... cos i wanna grow taller!

there are so many emails everyday (some, or maybe most of it's spam) that right now i'm very confused, about everything and anything. nearly. sigh:/

i foresee my last 2 days of holiday being spent not very enjoyably.

first month of next year's going to be crazy. and if, most most most unfortunately (okay maybe fortunately, in some sense) i am in OSL Vietnam, then the first 3 month's going to be crazy.

i dont believe OSL can actually be held in march. wat about rs? isnt it due in apr, how can they send s4s overseas in mar?!?!!!

grrrrr!!!! so annoyed, irritated. doesnt help that i dont have my laptop back yet, i dont have pictures!!!!!!!!!

maybe i just need some sleep. not that i'm sleep deprived, cos i woke up late today and spent most of traveling time sleeping....


and horror, i forgot that x=[+/-b - (square root of b^2-4ac) ] / 2a! is it correct?? oh nooo, i'm so going to fail the week 2 math test :/

today's osl reunion dinner was quite okay, had food (duh!), met up with people, and mostly, watched Mr and Mrs Smith. i didnt quite get it though.. i couldnt hear what they were saying, i couldnt understand the chinese subtitles fast enough, so mainly i had to ask other people what was going on :/ ah wells. i tot it was quite unrealistic at the end though, how can the both of them shoot EVERYONE! nvm, i like happy endings anyway.


YOU'RE THE INSPIRATION (Chicago)

You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

-gonna miss you next year.


anyway, next year's not starting on a very good note (the dratted extended school hours) and it's not gonna end nicely either (unless God wills it to be!)

i really really pray and hope and wish with all my being that ODAC expedition will not clash with OSL Cambodia.



Saturday, December 29, 2007

long time never blog alr... maybe cos i got tired of it, or maybe cos i din have time or sth. anyway, 2007's coming to an end, and now it's time to look back and reflect, and think about the new year and what it brings.

2007 has been, thus far, my most fruitful and interesting year in all my 15 years. really, all the opportunities given to me, all the things i did or did not do, all the friends i made and everything. there was my saddest moment but also my happiest moment. my best and worst moment. the best news and the worst news. new and exciting opportunities appeared but some also left. so on so forth, but all in all, a very good year for me

i've really learnt a lot this year, matured more and thought more. and though people may go through the same thing, they experience different things and therefore learn different things. some may learn more, some less. i'm just glad for the things that have been given to me this year, and for the next year too. i may not be the richest girl or anything, and i may have many other difficulties, but still, i think i'm very lucky and fortunate. and i think other people should also count their blessings and not misfortunes, because there's no point feeling sad over something already over. you can always work harder, there's always next year.


and next year, it's really full of changes. from the most mundane, like extension of sch hours, to work load and expectations. i just hope it'll be as rewarding and enriching as this year was(:




and for everyone's information, my laptop was sent for servicing, and i'll prob only get it back next week. all my docs are in there, so yeah, i dont have access to them now (except for some), and i also dont have windows live messenger and sometimes even windows messenger, so for anything urgent, please email me(:

Monday, December 17, 2007

ahh, been really busy the past few days, trying to settle everything before i leave. cos you know, the new year looks nearer from the other side of christmas xD and i'm spending christmas overseas, away from my computer and work D:

orientation stuff, hadley cheers, osl reports/videos/what-nots, odac stuff to check one D: but anyway, most of it's settled(:

:/ do seem to be pushing my work to others though, but i'll make up for it when i get back!!

anyway, i dont think i'll blog anymore before i leave, so i wanted to post a pic from osl before i leave! (sheesh i'm really sorry if my sentence structure and everything's all wrong, i'm a bit zonked out)

:/ the photos dont want to appear. ah wells, just wait a while more then!

A very Merry Christmas to all! (:

Sunday, December 16, 2007

currently trying to wade through the billion photos of cambodia... guess which are the most popular features of cambodia? rice fields, break of dawn, TOILETS, cows, and a zillion other random street photos. i'm not counting the Meakea kids and Sok Ann students photos... :/ so many repeated photos, that now i'm just clicking at nearly everything and deleting them, prob leaving just the people photos. :/

Thursday, December 13, 2007

my mood's really plummeting. the past few days i was still fine, cheerful, hopeful, a bit wistful that osl's over, still missing osl but those cherished memories are still there. but now, it's like reality's hit. the trip's over, although the learning wont stop. no more stalling, no more excuses. and feeling quite apprehensive over next year as well. what if i cant do my job well. and there's no one else. i dont think it quite got into my head that i'm never going to see the s4s again, till jc. and by then, things might have changed.


or maybe i just really miss my family. havent seen much of them for 5 weeks already. parents and jon went for nearly 2 weeks, so them for a mere day, then osl for 2 weeks, came back and so jon for a day then it was just me and jere. and hardly ever see him anyway, despite both of us being the only ones at home, cos jon went for a retreat. it's like, i see osl ppl, the elderly at the health care centre more than my family.


i think i'll go sleep now.
i realise my whole hols is one long Service Learning... starting with OSL Cambodia, then this week at Toa Payoh Senior Citizens Health Care Centre for WEP (but it's essentially like CIP), then next week i'll be going to Thailand to the mission home that my family visits every year (it's seriously not a vacation, but it's fun)

and i think i really learnt a lot this hols... appreciating the littlest things. from cambodia, it's light, education, english... seriously, today i was just walking home, then i looked up at the street lamp and i was like, wow, no flies! amazing that there are billions and zillions of flies at Sok Ann but none here... then at the senior citizens centre, those who are disabled cos of stroke or sth go there, made me really thankful that my grandparents were still fit and able, if a little over weight xP and yeah, i will never want to send my own parents there. there's this patient there who cant feed himself (only him and another lady cant), so i feed him most of the time. for breakfast and tea, they eat bread with milo/coffee, and for those who have problems chewing, porridge for lunch. and everytime i feed him, i'm always very scared he'll choke :/ but thankfully he never did(: and ms swee dropped by for a surprise visit, and haha when she saw me feeding him, she said it was very good and if i had a little sibling at home (so i'd have had practice).



sometimes i wonder, am i taking up so many things that my priorities are being split, that now i cant concentrate on a single commitment and commit myself fully to it? am i letting down the people who trust and believe that i can do it? am i short changing the odacians cos really, there's no one else? unlike my other commitments where if i cut slack there'll be someone else to cover for me?



i really think i could use a break. like a real and proper one, where i wont have to think of anything, or worry about anything, sleep as much as i want and do what i like. cos this holidays hasnt been much of a rest, and i dont foresee one in the near future... in fact, the holidays dont seem any different from sch term, except i dont have to do hw.


i've been reading sad stories one after another. from "first they killed my father" to "stay alive, my son" and "the broken glass floats(or sth like that)" about the Khmer Rouge which happened in Cambodia 30 years ago. then my aunt passed me 2 books, "sold" and "not without my daughter" i only finished reading "sold" and it's bout this family who lives in Birmingham, the father comes from Yemen and he sent his 2 daughters, 14 and 15 years old, who grew up in England, to Yemen telling them it's for a holiday, when he really sold them to his friends' sons to be their wives. then they're held captive there, and have to learn the traditional ways of the Yemen people.




still missing Cambodia, osl and chikku baluku. it's amazing how we could stay together for 2 weeks and never tire of each other. it's such a special group, it's so rare that you find a group which is totally cooperative and amazing! but now it's over, it's probably very rare that we'll all come together again. and i still have to get on with what i have to do. :/ osl, orientation, odac stuff...





if there's so much i must be, can i still just be me, the way i am.
can i trust in my own heart, or am i just one part, of some big plan.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

i dont mean to be pessimistic or anything, but i was just reading my pri sch friend's blog, and it's like, i dno, i guess we've all moved on, forgot most of what happened in the past. which made me think, is this what we'll become in a few years' time? maybe in j2, when we're mugging hard for a levels, thinking about scholarships and what not, will we have forgotten the friendships we've made in sec sch? the times we spent in cambodia? will we still rmb each other and our love for osl?


the holidays dont seem much like holidays. i'm missing a lot of people; my parents, my younger bro (he went for a church retreat), osl (very very much, though we just saw each other on sat, but we'll prob never meet up altogether ever again), friends and more.

and although i may join osl next year, but the experience will never be the same. the people will be different, the atmosphere and everything. :/ i'm really missing osl and cambodia, just looking at the pictures could make me cry :(




am i really biting off more than i can chew?

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

There's so much to do and not enough time! :/
going out with people whom i miss (or will be missing), compiling photos for osl (this is an extremely time consuming task...), ppt slides for osl hall assembly talk, reflections, and much more :/

and WEP isnt helping. sometimes i wish i didnt sign up, cos it's really rather pointless. the only thing which it has made me feel, was to make sure my parents dont end up in a place like that. it's rather dreary :/


i really really really miss OSL Cambodia, and Chikku Baluku :( havent seen anyone except for soff since we left the airport. anyway i think i'm going to be quite sick of soff by next year :D hahaha. she's in SLN too xD


my laptop's running out of memory space. i wonder if my brain is as well...
Still missing OSL Cambodia 2007

Where We Belong
Morning comes around and I
Can't wait to have, my bread and milo
In its glorious Tupperware, with flies in it it’s so nutritious
Bright lights shine at Sok Ann at night
Guiding flies closer to us
To a place where they’ll be safe and warm
In our shirts

Chorus:
Where we belong, where we keep our hearts and sousl,
Where stars shine bright at night
Where we sit together, chair to chair, durings facils in moonlight
Where we belong, we keep our hearts and souls,
Where we’re one big OSL,
We want Cambodia to know, we want to sing it out loud,
That this is the place that we love

At the Beginning
We were strangers starting out on a journey
Never dreaming what we’d have to go through
Now here we are, and I’m suddenly standing
In Cambodia with you

No one told us, we were going to meet you
Fortunately, you were there to guide us
When we felt lost, you were always there for us,
For you’re our great mentors

Chorus:
And this is a road that we wanna keep going,
These are the days that we wanna keep living,
These are the people that we wanna keep loving
Wonderful mentors
You’ll be there when the nights are freezing
You’ll be there when our brains aren’t working
In the end, we just wanna thank you for all the things
That you’ve done.

This is Cambodia
Whenever I am feeling low, I look around me, and I know,
This is a place that will stay within me,
Wherever I may choose to go.
I will always recall the rice fields, and all the ano. Cows
Look at the night sky and wonder why,
There are so many stars.

Chorus:
This is Cambodia, where we know we must be,
Where the people are friendly,
No matter where you come from.
This is Sok Ann High, where we stayed in Takeo
We came here to teach and learn
For this our OSL

When there is cow poo on the floor, I look around and, I see more
There are pigs dogs cows and ducks, and the chickens that go cluck
I will think of the cold mornings, and the warm afternoons,
Squat in the toilet with a torch light, brushing teeth in the fields.

Chorus

We will get there
Remember that day, we flew to Cambodia with faith
Remember the time, we laughed,
when Mr Mizar was chopping his garlic
Then things weren’t the same
The taste that we knew he had changed
He added in a lot of salt
We see until heart pain
Must learn from ms Chia
Her cooking damn good sia
We know she’ll cook a good meal
For us for now and ever after

Chorus:
Deep in our hearts, we just know,
Right from the start, you are pro
Look where we are,
You’ve brought us so far
We still have one more day to go
With all of our hearts, you have cared
We want to thank you for all that
With teachers our friends
Together we’ll stand
And in the end,
Hand in hand
We will get there

So now mr paul
The one who is so very tall
Who plays basketball, guitar
And is so very good at them all.
Here comes dear Patrick,
Who gets love letters from hot chicks
By finding some Cambodian love
We’ll come for you next year
And lastly ms low
Who’s good at speaking slow
So Cambodians will know
The English that she wants to mend


And in particular, CHIKKU BALUKU!

Slogan
Chikku Baluku, to Takeo and beyond

Mascot
The POW (Cowlorian piglorious)

Chikku Cheer
If I say Chi, you say Ku
Chi – Ku
Chi – Ku
If I say Balu, you say Ku
Balu – Ku
Balu – Ku
If I say Chi, you say Ku
If I say Balu, you say Ku
Chi – Ku Balu – Ku!

Chikku Cheer 2
*hands down* Chikku
*hands up* Baluku

Pig Cheer
Nie nie *snort snort* whee!

Food chant
Let’s eat, chi fan, makan, thaw niem, bon appetite, jia png, itadakimas!

Who let the Pow out
Who let the Pow out
Moink, moink, moink, moink

Remix
Who let the pow out? Moo x4
Who let the pow out? Poot x4
Who let the pow out? Moink x4

Just shurrup, shurrup x3
*awkward silence for 5 sec*
Moo Power, Poot!

Power to the Chikkus! Moo Moo
Power to the Chikkus! Poot Poot
Power to the Chikkus! Moink Moink
Power to the Chikku Balukus! Oh Yeah!

We are Chikku Balukus (to the tune of It’s A Small World)
There is just one Moo
And one Doraemon,
With the three Cheekos
And the two Bimbos
There are two Paedophiles
With the two Blur Sotongs
We are Chikku Balukus

We are Chikku Balukus
We are Chikku Balukus
We are Chikku Balukus
We are Chikku Balukus

Who let the Fart out
Who let the Fart out
Moo, Moo, Moo, Moo

A Capella
Part 1: This is group three, three, three
Part 2: Baluku ku ku ku ku
Part 3: Chikku

Cheeko Dance
Oh-oh, oh-oh pop x3
*slurp slurp* yeah yeah

Sexyback
we’re bring sexy back *slaps butt* yeah!

Fat kid
(squish face between fists)
My momma said fat kids can’t smile, but I’m gonna prove her wrong *grins*

Butterfly
Aye ayi aye I’m a Raffles butterfly
Green black and white like the colours on my tie

We Are OSL (by Bella and I) (to the tune of I Want It That Way)
We are OSL
We go Cambodia
Sok Ann beautiful
I like it that way

Tell me why people always go “Sank You”
Tell me why they always say “I Lub You”
Tell me why I love OSL so much
Cos I like it that way

This Is Cambodia (by Shimin and I)
Whenever I am feeling low, I look around me, and I know,
This is a place that will stay within me,
Wherever I may choose to go.
I will always recall the rice fields, and all the ano. Cows
Look at the blue sky and wonder why,
There are so many stars.

Chorus:
This is Cambodia, where we know we must be,
Where the people are friendly,
No matter where you come from.
This is Sok Ann High, where we stayed in Takeo
We came here to teach and learn
For this our OSL

When there is cow poo on the floor, I look around and, I see more
There are many animals, so the place is beautiful
I will think of the cold mornings, and the warm afternoons,
Squat in the toilet with a torch light, brushing teeth in the fields.

Chorus

Monday, December 10, 2007

:D i'm feeling very satisfied now, guess why. COS I MANAGED TO COME UP WITH A CHEER! for hadley lah. (: hahah, dont know if it'll be accepted, but still! i did it in like, 1 hour or less?! and considering i NEVER watched hairspray. :D

anyway, WEP today was totally -.- it's not wep lah please, it's more like cip. sigh, i'm not complaining about our job, it's quite insightful, but like i really expected to learn more about the medical industry lor. like all i learnt today, was how to take blood pressure. and all you do is just slip the band in the arm and press the on button -.- sigh, maybe the lessons learnt there, like all other life lessons, are subconsciously learnt.

anyway, i intend to wake up at 7am tmr to go jogging! and so i should sleep now.

btw, i got into sln. so now, my committments for 2008 are: ODAC, PSB, Hadley House Comm, SLN. and very possibly (and i mean really very possibly) OSL and Congress. sigh, and my horribly terribly awful grade 8 piano :/ and chinese O level. well least by next year this time, i wont be studying chinese anymore, nor learning awful exam pieces and trying to figure out the rationale behind learning scales.


oh and honestly, i think prefects shouldnt just be the ones allowed to wear a special set of sch u! how bout psls also wear shirt and skirt, only our ties diff colour! xD hahaha, like white being the predominant colour instead of green. cos people only notice prefects! :( and incidentally, hahaha today at the elder care centre, there was this guy (he was a helper there) who asked soff "what's prefect? it's not your name right?" xD so cute! i never knew there were people who didnt know what prefect meant.


and mr lim just put into my head, the thought that i should change my blog url to sth along the lines of chikku baluku! xD i really really miss my group :( and my buddies in particular :(


and it always makes me think, that i'm never gonna get the chance to see the sec 4s again, till i enter JC.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

RGS OSL Cambodia 2007 Sok Ann video

This is the video the pubs comm. made for the Sok Ann students!

i'm back from cambodia! not really glad to be back though, i'm missing osl very much :( osl withdrawal symptoms. and i think spending 2 weeks there made me lose some of my communication skills. ask anyone in my group xD Chikku Baluku!(: haha. Dawn, E-Lynn, Michelle (And) our mentors! (chua) shimin, soffia, moo(muneerah), bella, esther, andrea, louise and i! the time we spent there together was the best i ever had, in some ways.
we came up with many cheers and songs, and basically, i just enjoyed my whole experience there. will blog more on it another time...


was just telling my chi tuition teacher about osl, and she was saying that some people join just for the CIP hours... i was a bit, shocked? i dno, i didnt expect anyone to join just for the sake of CIP hours, i mean it comes as an added benefit, no? i really dont see a point in going overseas to serve a community there when you dont really want to do it, when you dont have a passion for it. when you do it just to put it there in your portfolio.

WEP tmr at toa payoh polyclinic. think it'll be fun(: