In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

now uploading taiwan photos into comp.. one day, i WILL upload cambodia, thailand, taiwan photos into my photobucket account. meanwhile, a huge stack of hw awaits me. i think i'll be studying over cny :/

crammed/packed week ahead. i dont think i have time for new year shopping :/


on the bright side, after imcb today, rushed down to climb asia! didnt climb for a very long time, reached about 6, left about 8... okay that's 2 hours, but yeah, it was great(: the guy who went for tripod, forgot his name alr :/, was very nice! managed to do about 2/3 6B routes, and attempted 2 more but cmi. got scrapes on both my knees, a burst blister on my left middle finger and a blister on my right middle finger. i'm not actually very tired, like aching muscles... but yeah, finger hurts. and the orange shoes should be condemned! mr tan, get us new shoes!! anyway, hope i'll be fine by lfs on sun!
hopefully my mom will let me stayover tmr :/ jiayou parisa, poonam, gerry, jaslyn and angie for sat!<3

will sleep soon after my photos are all uploaded.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

tired. but i'll sleep early today, so i wont fall asleep tmr during imcb attachment! it's quite fun(: but i wouldnt do it as a job when i grow up, too cruel. basically they experiment with zebrafish. like lab rat, only these fishes are cheaper, so they use these instead of mice/rats. they breed them (sometimes with mutations), keep them for 2 years, then anaesthesize them. like animal rights and bio ethics? they (okay i'm going to be doing it...) put weird stuff into the fish embryos just to see how the effect will be like...

but anyway, i dont really get what we're doing... very cheem terms used..

i'll go for climbing tmr after imcb. then on fri after imcb, rush to sch for housecomme, then to juan's house for sleepover. sat will go support juniors at french school climbing comp. sun's mine. all sihui's fault, didnt tell me earlier..



kay, i'm so going to fail all my subj in term 1.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

kay got back from taiwan. and found out i have imcb from wed to fri. so i'm missing 8 days of school straight. which isnt good.


there's so much i'm missing! -whines and cries-




btw, mrs chew is really very cool. more about taiwan later.



SHEESH I STILL DONT BELIEVE THAT I DONT GET TO GO SCHOOL TMR.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

ahhh! cant believe im not going to sch tmr! first time i'm missing school for a very long time... even though it's legal..

today was super fun! odac sesssion :D cant imagine why people would NOT want to join odac >:(
went to climb asia and did the external wall! it's like about 15-18m tall i think, and it's LEAD climb (meaning no rope up there to save you) and the footholds are really really crap. but i managed it :D

kay, i'm a worry freak, so currently, i'm worrying about rs, odac, mg, and whatever else that i'm supposed to do :/ 7 days isnt a lot, right? :/

anyway, me mommy is so nice, she packed my stuff properly (cos i was intending to do the last minute packing at the last minute, and there's so much things to stuff in the small luggage) and she bought me lots of food!!! haha, she never did this before, for all my previous overseas trips xD maybe cos it's during sch term :D



(: will miss all of you while in taiwan! have fun climbing without me, and soff can go play tennis with an imaginary partner! :D



while climbing today, suddenly this jumped to my mind:
When I see your smile,
Tears run down my face.
I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.
And I know I'll find deep inside me,
I can be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay-e-ay-e-ay.

Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,
My true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
'Cause I'm here... for you!
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay... here!

Whoa-oh!
Stay!
Whoa-oh!

Use me as you will!
Pull my strings just for a thrill!
And I know I'll be okay,
Though my skies are turning gray! (gray! gray!)

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!


haha it's not that i'm scared of falling, it's just that i am scared of falling. okay that doesnt make sense, but anyway, point is i'm scared of falling, so no matter what, i wont let go.

Monday, January 21, 2008

it's not very nice to do that, even if you didnt really mean it. we all take it very seriously, and we really thought we had quite a lot of people. it's really quite hurting.


anyway, i dont understand what's with us human beings. we know we're killing the earth, by using up too much resources, too soon. yet we dont really do much, we just continue wasting and using resources freely like it's free. like that girl who took a plastic bag just for 2 miserable packets of sweets, or that auntie who used a plastic bag for 2 bags of oranges. it's not that difficult to just carry that little bit, is it. and one miserable loaf of bread certainly does not require a plastic bag.
i rmb reading in a newspaper somewhere that singapore really isnt putting in much effort in terms of cutting down of use of plastic bags, and i agree totally. we should start charging for plastic bags, not give plastic bags for free. and at the same time, we could also use less paper. there's nothing wrong with printing double sided, with a smaller font and smaller gaps. it doesnt take much effort to print double sided! just print all the odd number pages first, than put the whole stack into the paper tray and print the even pages! or better yet, dont print out stuff which you dont need. if you know you wont read through that thick stack of notes, why print?

anyway, haha had a surprise birthday "party" for esther xD quite retarded really, the matches kept splintering, and we were all forced to keep a straight face for a long time :P haha(: i think osl cambodia 08 will be great fun:D



taiwan in one day! D: and i'm so proud of myself, i finished my commonwealth with practically no planning and in less than 4 hours(i think) and i wrote 1206 words! :D

Sunday, January 20, 2008

yesterday. only yesterday, did i realise i havent been much of a friend to you. and i feel really bad about it, i really do. only you seem to have others anyway.


and really, i need to take a step back and re look my priorities. think i've been going around for the past few weeks with a dead look... :/ that's not good.


2 days to taiwan, feeling really apprehensive... it's going to be freezing there, and everything's going to be in CHINESE D:


Leaving on a Jet Plane
All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standin here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin
Its early morn
The taxi's waitin
He's blowin his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leavin on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Theres so many times Ive let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Ev'ry place I go, I'll think of you
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for you
When I come back, I'll bring your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leavin on a jet plane
Dont know when Ill be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Then close your eyes
I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I wont have to leave alone
About the times, I wont have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
cause I'm leavin on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go

But, I'm leavin on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe, I hate to go


i now realise what changed, in us. the introduction of sth i dont like, sth which goes against my values (according to the online thingy). apparently i value equality very much. but i think it's quite true.

Your Guardian Angel
When I see your smile,
Tears run down my face.
I can't replace.
And now that I'm strong, I have figured out,
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul.
And I know I'll find deep inside me,
I can be the one.

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

It's okay.
It's okay.
It's okay-e-ay-e-ay.

Seasons are changing,
And waves are crashing,
And stars are falling all for us.
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter,
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall. (let you fall.)
I'll stand up with you forever.
I'll be there for you through it all. (through it all.)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven.

'Cause you're my, you're my, my-e-y-e-y,
My true love, my whole heart.
Please don't throw that away.
'Cause I'm here... for you!
Please don't walk away and,
Please tell me you'll stay... here!

Use me as you will!
Pull my strings just for a thrill!
And I know I'll be okay,
Though my skies are turning gray! (gray! gray!)

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!

I will never let you fall!
I'll stand up with you forever!
I'll be there for you through it all,
Even if saving you sends me to heaven!


right now, there are only 3 people in whom i'd confide some things, 5 people whom i'd miss at any time, and 7 people who i value greatly. (doesnt include family members)


What I've Done
In this farewell
There’s no blood
There’s no alibi
‘Cause I’ve drawn regret
From the truth
Of a thousand lies

[Pre-Chorus:]
So let mercy come
And wash away
What I’ve done

[Chorus:]
I'll face myself
To cross out what i’ve become
Erase myself
And let go of what i’ve done

Put to rest
What you thought of me
While I clean this slate
With the hands of uncertainty

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

For what I’ve done
I start again
And whatever pain may come
Today this ends
I’m forgiving what I’ve done!!!

[Chorus]

What I’ve done
Forgiving what I’ve done

Saturday, January 19, 2008

i think one object i would use to describe myself would be a roller coaster. or maybe a deck of poker cards. go figure.

house prac was crazy, seriously sarah should come with a label: beware. prolonged exposure to sarah causes insanity. ringers auditions after that was pretty tame, plenty of sec ones:D and yeah, watched deborah the retard xD i really miss 101. it's such a joy seeing them now, sec 2 seniors and having grown so much since last year. i really feel like i played a part in their lives, though whether or not it's true i dont know... after a couple of public transport mistakes, finally made it there. felt weird. i dont think we have progressed/improved, we either stagnated or deteriorated. and that isnt good.

nevertheless, it gave me much food for thought, and i really regret some of the follies i made in the past 2 years, though i wont dwell on it. wish i had more sense, then and now.


just a bit of commonwealth, conceptual physics chap 22-23 readings, physics assignment, physics journal, foc post mortem report, ss fa, math ws, taiwan ppt.
and i wont be at peace till i manage to understand every single concept in every class (which means i have to read up on each subject) and make sure i dont lag too behind after taiwan.
ss handout readings, eng compre, math ws, geog ws in taiwan. sheesh, i'm really afraid for after taiwan :/

Friday, January 18, 2008

changed blog layout... kay the main pic is weird, i feel weird putting it there, but cant find any nice pics as yet. must get my pics out of my dad's and mom's laptop!!!



feels weird. but yeah, guess i should make best use of every opportunity that comes to me?





haha mrs chew called my house, spoke to my mom about taiwan. i hope we dont all get scolding after that :P feeling very excited/apprehensive about taiwan!!!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

my pri sch is horrible. my younger bro fell today, cos he was going up the stairs, then someone in front of him stopped or moved back or sth, then anyway, he fell backwards and hit his head. so obv, there was blood. coming out of his head. and the teacher (or whoever who brought him) smartly brought him to a clinic. cos the clinic SOO looked like it handled head injuries. -.- seriously, how smart can they get?!

anyway, my parents finally brought him to kk. where the service there was so fantastic, there was a shortage of doctors, beds and even cotton gauze. and the anesthetic was almost wearing off by the time they started stitching up his head. 4 big stitches and 2 small ones. no idea what it means by big or small, i think my mom means the needle. cos apparently, his skull was too thick for the small one xD he's fine now anyway, 3 days mc from sch and 10 days mc from pe. i think his only complaint is that he has to eat antibiotics.

he currently holds the record for the most no. of times going to hospital for stitches. he went twice, i went once and my older bro has no stitches at all...




taiwan trip briefing today... quite okay lah, only my chinese is.... sheesh.

and school work! one whole week!!! can you imagine how much work i'm going to have to catch up on when i get back?!?!!!! and it's not like i even understand what's going on now... had to go home and research more on physics to get the fundamentals. havent even started on chem :/ or bio, tho that's not that bad, cos the topic's similar to sec 2's, and i've got notes.



dont even mention piano, taking grade 8 in march (hopefully, if it's in feb i die), but i'll prob just fail it... sheesh! i dont even practice everyday, but i'm going to make myself practice, else my parent's money's just going to waste.




i dont want to just survive this year. i dont want to get 2.0 for all my subjects. i dont want to leave rgs feeling drained and tired out from everything. and i'm real glad i dropped congress and didnt take up sln exco. and glad that my seniors had to foresight to not put me there. though that may not be because of what i think it was.



kay, to all sec fours, jiayou! off to practice piano now -.-

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

today was a tired day. no idea why. zonked out in all the lessons except, surprisingly, philo! have no idea how to do math ws now :/ btw, philo with GEPs is not a very nice experience, as stimulating as it is (they're really abstract and philosophical ppl)...

odac was really fun today, only 6 of us. sihui, siling, the three sec 2s and me. sihui and i did top lead overhang:D



doesnt feel right.



kay shall sleep early, so i wont be zonked tmr.

Monday, January 14, 2008

WHEEE!!!(: i got back my laptop! like finally! after 3 weeks or sth:D

but my laptop cant connect to my family's wireless network -.- so bugger, i'm still using my dad's laptop to check mail and stuff...


today was a good day, in terms of timetabling (bio, eng, pe, recess, chi, free block, lunch, math), but i was pretty glum. haha no idea why, maybe cos i was a bit tired. but i feel like such a good girl, cos i finished all my hw(:

and 2 people asked me today if i can cope (with whatever i have) -.- kinda late to ask isnt it? haha, but i'm determined to stick through it. actually i think i can make it lor, and still ensure my grades wont fall (but i think i cant make grade 8 piano alr). only side effects are no social life (no going out with friends, no movie dates.. not that i had much last year even), not so high/cheery (this is bad, i lost my I in DISC) and yeah. must find some kind of balance(:

but you know, the feeling of wanting to be left alone sometimes, and people just keep bugging you? not the "how are you, are you okay" kinda bugging, but the senseless, insensitive, thoughtless kinda bugging. like the trying to be mean, you know, when people make fun of you, as a joke lah, but you just dont feel like it. quite irritating sometimes :/


:/ but i hope that in this year, i wont become too busy, too tired, that i forget the meaning of life, why i do what i do. that i wont neglect my friends because of my work (which i think i'm alr starting to do, and this is really really bad). i really hope that my last year in rgs will be a good one, a fruitful one. i must make time to go out with friends more and watch more movies! i think i lead a sadly deprived life in terms of entertainment... :P


anyways, i think i'm reading a lot about bioethics in the newspapers nowadays! or maybe it's just that i open the newspapers more now -.- but yeah, it's much food for thought.. a lot to process, it's so complicated and weird! on one hand, it would be better for the earth if none of the weird stuff were created, on the other hand, this weird stuffs could be beneficial to humans.



kay, should go back to doing proper work...

Saturday, January 12, 2008

The Paradox of Life Today

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.

We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.

We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete.

Remember; spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. -- Written by George Carlin, post-9/11 and his wife's death, as posted in Phil Konstantin's newsletter

- http://secondsightresearch.tripod.com/cattales/id20.html

Something Worth Leaving Behind - Lee Ann Womack

Hey Mona Lisa, who was Leonardo?
Was he Andy Warhol?
You were Marilyn Monroe
Hey Mozart, what kind of name is Amadeus
It´s kinda like Elvis
You gotta die to be famous
I may not go down in history
I just want someone to remember me

I´ll probably never hold a brush
that paints a masterpeice
Probably never find a pen
that writes a symphony
But if I will love then I will find
That I have touched another life
And that´s something
Something worth leaving behind

Hey Midas you say you have the magic touch
That even all that shiny stuff
Someday is gonna turn to dust
Hey Jesus it must have been some Sunday morning
In a blaze of glory
We´re still tellin´ your story
I may not go down in history
I just want someone to remember me

I´ll probably never dream a dream
and watch it turn to gold
No, I´ll never lose my life
to save another soul
If I will love then I will find
That I have touched another life
And that´s something
Something worth leaving behind

Hey baby see the future that we´re building
Our love lives on in the lives of our children
And that´s something
Something worth leaving behind
ahhh orientation's over!!! cant say it was the best orientation i ever experienced, only that ive seen it from a different perspective..

last year, psl for class 101! def a lot more enthu about my class and station games and class spirit and everything.

this year, ic of foc comm, a lot more running around and less time spent with class (or with spsb for that matter). haha, but i feel very satisfied with my comm and what we've done(: karmin, anthea, charmaine! japna, seryee, julnise! :D we (karmin, charmaine, japna and i) got high during operation cleanup (after watching the wonderful video that anthea and charmaine put together in less than a day!) went prancing around checking the sec one classes if they have cleaned their classrooms. hahaah(:

Everywhere we go x2
People want to know x2
Who we are x2
Where we come from x2
So we tell them x2
We are from FOC
Mighty mighty FOC
Super duper FOC
F-O-C comm!:DD

haha we din actually say that, just came to us when this sec one class walked past us cheering that

oh mann:( i'll miss rg orientation... everyone says rj orientation is horrible!



haha and after mya, i'll never forget that.





something unique, something special that i'll never forget. okay granted i have a short memory, but still!


and osl presentation during upper sec was so screwed! i panicked :/ heh, cos i never looked at the script properly till minutes before presentation. but still, :D lots of juniors asking about it! i really really hope they go for it, they're such nice people!(:



i think i cant handle food stuff xD the osl vid xD then during breakfast this morning, HAHA cos got a lot of half bottle of jam/peanut butter left over, then dno what to do. so soffia comes along and says why not put them all in one!( or maybe it was shijia who said that.. she sat at table and just kept eating xD) so i did that. it looked quite good actually. albeit there was a bit of jam in the peanut butter, and different flavours in the jam bottles xD heh.



bored and i dont want to think of hw.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

right, tomorrow had better be good. everything has to go smoothly, and there wont be any last minute errors.

osl presentation, buffet dinner, night surprise, (saturday) breakfast, video, lunch, orientation tea, clean up.


:/ tell me there isnt any hw due tmr, cos i havent done any.



and yeah, RS had better end up good as well! :/ i miss lab park:( i want to go visit before i leave for taiwan!



on the positive side, my dad just told me i'll get back my laptop tmr. only thing is, i'll be in school tmr.



kay, EVERYTHING HAD BETTER GO WELL! please?

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

shaina commented to me today, that i looked flustered and stressed and what not since school started. do i? maybe i should re-look at my priorities, cos i dont want to waste my last year in rgs stressed out.. actually i think it's just a sub conscious fear of math sa, cos yeah. as it is, i didnt know how to do the find the equation from the graph question and tot that the linear equation was an exponential one, and therefore drew the graph wrongly. sheesh, i'm so going to fail it:/


workload's piling up, maybe cos i suddenly developed a strong interest in my subjects (like philo? chem? bio?) and feel like i should do some research before going for lessons. naturally, i didnt do that once i reached home (ever the procrastinator) but yeah. least i had the THOUGHT right, and it's the thought that counts xD

and of course, odac, orientation (in 2 days time!!)... lots of changes this year, to nearly everything.




you'd think that after 4 years, i'd find it. but i havent.




i dont feel like a s4, still. i dont know how a s4 should behave, should react, should be like. more serious? or just stay the way i am (which is in between no where). seriously, life was so much easier when you were just a junior.

i can remember sec 1, when tessa was our class chair. my class was a rather unruly class, and we always said that the only person that our whole class would listen to was tessa. and look, now she's our head prefect!




i think we've become to dependent on the internet. every night when i open my mail, i spend at least half an hour clearing it. and i think a lot of other things as well, but sometimes, i think i dont have enough time to think so much.

reached home at 6, opened the newspapers, next thing i knew, it was 7. one whole hour, spent on reading newspapers. and after that, i berated myself for spending one whole hour reading newspapers, when i could have showered, checked my mail, started on hw. but then again, i read the newspapers about once a month, maybe two, maybe six? point is, i hardly ever read newspapers, because it seems like such a waste of time. maybe God should have given us more time a day. or the Greek or whoever who said that 24 hours was a day should have decreed that 48 hours was a day. then, maybe we'd have enough time. but then again, we never have enough time.





so much things, running through my mind. all about different things. and then again, not enough time to process them all. or maybe just a mismanagement of time.

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

maybe i'll pass the test with flying colours if i sleep with my summaries (i hope they're reliable, the whole trig part of it is off the internet) under my pillow?

so irritating, lost all my last year's summaries >:(


good night and good luck!
"When You Say Nothing At All"

It's amazing
How you can speak
Right to my heart
Without saying a word,
You can light up the dark
Try as I may
I could never explain
What I hear when
You don't say a thing

[CHORUS:]
The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

All day long
I can hear people
Talking out loud
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd
(The crowd)
Try as they may
Could never define
What's been said
Between your
Heart and mine

[Repeat chorus twice]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

[Repeat chorus]

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)

The smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Let's me know
That you need me

(You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all)


Good luck fellow s4s for tmr! i know i need it:/ havent done trig AT ALL. :( and i dont wanna fail/do badly for my first test of the year.


and i feel bad enough about not doing anything. i dont think i deserve it?


"first" odac session of the year has started, and i guess it's quite okay. lead climbing today was fun, wasnt as difficult as i thought it would be. and it feels weird still. and i feel like i'm not the one.

ringers yesterday was fine, havent been assigned yet, just stood in for mia people, but yeah. i think i do miss ringing, as weird as it sounds.




tell me why i feel like i dont fit in anywhere, like some out of place, weirdly shaped, oddly sized jigsaw puzzle piece.





felt positively miserable in the morning.





and to top things off, i dont feel prepared for tmr, whatever i told my mom...

Sunday, January 06, 2008

wheee:D i'm not quitting ringers after all!(: cos prac doesn't clash with odac at all!! sheesh, they should have done this ages ago! then i wouldnt have to miss all the odac sessions -.- ah wells! :D

and osl cambodia wont be clashing with odac vietnam expedition!!:D haha it rocks to have teachers who have an interest in both odac and osl xD will apply for osl, hopefully i'll get in.. haha and i thought of the perfect excuse reason why i cant go for osl vietnam: because i'll be taking my Grade 8 piano exam! hahaha! :P

on the downside, i havent started studying for math sa, and it's on wedD:!!! AND the worst thing is, I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I PUT MY MATH SUMMARIES FROM LAST YEAR!!! :'( it contains all the vital information which i have forgotten!!! :( :( :(


ah wells... btw, funniest quote of the day on friday "But Thashi's Malay!" - Miao. haha i forgot what was said before that, but that was seriously the funniest thing i ever heard! hahaha xD no offence (eh, is it spelt with s or c?) to Thashi, if she ever hears of this :P




how come there's so much difference between the sec 3s and us? it just us, or them? and i really wish the J1s were still around :(

Saturday, January 05, 2008

just heard the best news in a long time! thanks lots!!:D

haha anyway i went for my first every house prac since sec 1. :P it was fine, as usual did cheers (what else does the cheer squad do?) and ra-ra-ed the sec 1s. haha it's really fun(:

anyway, lots of things going through my mind now, gonna mull over it before i sleep (yeah, that's when i think the most, unless i'm too tired :P which i usually am)

yay kay nvm, i'm just excited and happy and elated and what-not at the news.



-still kinda hard to believe that i'm actually sec 4, and that there wont be anyone like you around anymore... not till a year later, and who knows what could happen in a year?





Time is a real and constant motion always, rolling us along. Tell me who, wants to look back on their youth and wonder, where those years had gone...
Hold On
This world, this world is cold
But you don’t, you don’t have to go
You’re feeling sad you’re feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You’re mother’s gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare

But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go thru

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Your days you say they’re way too long
And your nights you can’t sleep at all (hold on)
And you’re not sure what you’re looking for
But you don’t want to no more
And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for but you don’t want to no more

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you’re doing to me?
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

you know, i dont mean to be negative or whatever, but really, no matter what you do in school now, everything will be forgotten by next year. unless you're especially exceptional, that your legacy really really lasts forever. like say Ms M.M. Hadley who implemented the House system in RGS and will forever be reminded as such.

seriously, no matter how many commitments you have, how well you do academically, fact is, when you leave next year (i'm talking about sec4s) hardly anyone will remember you. or what great things you have achieved. the only difference you can ever make, will be personal ones, to peoples' lives. but that's just as good, is that not? and that's what i hope to achieve by end 2008. that i'll have made a difference to someone's life, whoever that may be. cos i have seniors who have made a difference in my life, and i hope, i can do the same. i try anyway.

when i came in in sec1 to rgs, i was really skeptical of what mrs tan was saying; that the 4 years here are one of the most important times in your life, that it is possibly life changing etc. but now that i've matured (i hope!) i really do think so. i think i really learnt a lot last year especially. and if everyone wants to say anything to the contrary, then maybe they should first reflect, cos if you dont give, you dont gain. if you dont want to commit, to contribute, then naturally you wont learn much.



hope i'll get a good night's sleep today. yesterday was horrible.
the most shocking email i ever got (haha!):
Dear (protected),
I am very appalled and disappointed that you would call that a proposal and frankly, it is super disturbing to note your standards of work. I think all of you need to take this very seriously because it reflects on the whole of (protected) and we don't want to portray the image of being slipshod and unprepared to our new (protected). If you truly had your difficulties in meeting the deadline or not understanding what was required, please say so in future beforehand, we'll understand.

I would like you to redo the proposal for (protected) AND submit the long overdue (protected) one by Wed, 8pm. For the (protected) proposal, we'll tell you about it on Thursday so don't worry about that for now.

There is no point in writing that you will demonstrate the (protected). Obviously you will have to teach that, but it would be good for you (who will be teaching) to spell out exactly what the uses are etc. So that you will be prepared to teach and you can refer to your proposal when you teach.

Include venues for (protected) (and wet weather plans) and time allocation. You may want to assign each person to a specific area. e.g. (protected) in charge of (protected). Make a timeline/action plan.

See the attached (protected) proposal by (protected). That is what you should at least have. They still have improvements to make but you can use it as reference.
We would like the new (protected) to be versatile in using ALL (protected). So pls teach (protected). Don't assume they can (protected) also, sometimes they cannot lor.
Hope you all understand the rationale for having proposals and I shall look forward to seeing great improvement in them!
Happy CNY,
(protected)


oh man, seriously, i have no idea what i was thinking then.

anyway first day of sch is over! went pretty much fine(:


bugger, a mozzie bit my eyelid, it feels swollen now :(


- even those who are gone, are with us as we go on, your journey has only begun.

416's class vid was hilarious, particularly when you have a retarded senior in that class xD

Tuesday, January 01, 2008

gonna sleep soon, mustn be late on the first day of sch as a sec 4! :/

2008 isnt going to be a very good year, i think, tho i certainly hope not. :/ i really really really really x100 hope my form and cle teachers are going to be nice. and that i wont have excruciatingly boring/horrid lessons.

cant wait to see classmates and friends though, and tmr's the first day of orientation! so exciting:D and house meeting too D: i gotta cheer?!?!! please dont laugh :/

kay i'm a bit not in the right mind, cos tmr's the first day of sch.

hope everything turns out fine.

I Hope You Dance
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat
But always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed
I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances
But they're worth taking
Lovin' might be a mistake
But it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart
Leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out
Reconsider
Give the heavens above
More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)

I hope you still feel small
When you stand by the ocean
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens
Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
Dance
I hope you dance
I hope you dance
(Time is a real and constant motion always)
I hope you dance
(Rolling us along)
I hope you dance
(Tell me who)
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
I hope you dance
(Where those years have gone)

(Tell me who)
I hope you dance
(Wants to look back on their youth and wonder)
(Where those years have gone)


-pray, that orientation08 turns out a big success, that the first psl session will be great, that house meeting will not flop, that odac will not die (in my handsD:), that i can get in for osl cambodia, that i'll be able to balance out my commitments, that i wont fail my grade 8 piano, that everything will turn out fine. but meanwhile, thank God for everything that i have. and what you have.



sheesh, i think i'm allergic to my pri sch friend's couch, i'm having sorta rashes all over :/


cheers to a great sch day tmr. i really hope so.