In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

lifang said my brain's getting slower. and come to think of it, i fully agree. i cant even do short cuts for math -- meaning when i want to divide y=bx^2 + xy by x, i have to write out the whole thing before cancelling; i cant jump steps :( which is very horrible.

not to mention zonking out totally during physics (cos i dont understand a single thing, like i'm sitting in a jap class or sth) and philo (cos whatever they're discussing is too abstract and cheem, and my brain isnt working).

:( i think i need to sleep more so my brain can work faster. or maybe, it's cos of the ultra long school days! :P seriously, after mrs quah left class today, so many people just plopped their heads on their desks and slept... it's kind of a subtle effect? like you dont realise that the long days are draining you, but the effects are being seen now... in other words, if our school doesnt want us to just FAIL EVERYTHING, they should cut our curriculum hours. else we'll all become slow :( like me.

or at the very least, if you dont want to cut our school hours, dont make us have 3rd block recess... 3 hours of hard core lessons before getting to eat is extremely draining. plus school food isnt that great.

enough grousing about the school system. next to SAs.

well, i'm so going to fail chem spa and ss. it's 2 days before exams, and i still havent finished reading anything. and what makes me even more depressed is seeing ppl like liang si, who not only READ the thick stack of ss notes, but also conscientiously taking down points for agreement and coming up with rebuttals.

btw, rgs student congress forum's up! go post(: [if you dont even bother to do this, i dont see why anyone should complain about congress not doing anything]


It Ends Tonight - All-American Rejects
Your subtleties they strangle me
I can't explain myself at all
And all the wants, and all the needs
All I don't want to need at all

The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight

A falling star, at least I fall alone
I can't explain what you can't explain
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing, my mind's unweaving
Maybe it's best you leave me alone
A weight is lifted on this evening
I give the final blow

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight, it ends tonight, it ends tonight

Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when you're blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight, it ends tonight

It ends when darkness turns to light
It ends tonight, it ends tonight
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight, it ends tonight, it ends tonight
Tonight, insight
When darkness turns to light it ends tonight

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

D: only read till page 6 of that thick stack of 56 pages of SS notes :/ and mr azahar wants to see me tmr after school cos i got 7/15 for ss fa :'( (i usually get 12/15 for ss )': )


anyway, haha a bit loser, but i realise i the genre of music i like is called Rock & Alternative! uhh cos usually i just listen without knowing mah (knowledge is not perception, or is it vice versa?)

i was just zonking out during the geog vid and philo :/


must get into full gear mugging mode :/ i cant afford to fail ss sa or chem prac, and BOTH are on fri T.T on the bright side, i dont have to finish reading all the ss notes by today (cos i tot ss was on wed)


Superman - Five for Fighting
I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me



was in the hod today with shimin when met mr chew. and to my surprise, he asked me if i was still in congress. told him i quit alr, and he said he didnt know... i kinda wish i could have not quit congress, but i (think i) know i made the right choice, else i'd be seriously like a sunburnt seagrass in overly nutrient-rich and turbid seawater. (haha okay, i dont get my analogy either) but basically it means stressed and not growing. xD




btw, i dislike it terribly when people ask annoying questions. but that's a bit vague, and depends on my mood, so yeah xP feeling tired now though, so (:

Monday, February 25, 2008

i'm getting the hang of chem! i finished studying cation tests (i can rmb:D the NaOH one) and most of the anion tests!! kay quite loser, considering some people know EVERYTHING alr :/ but still!





The mark of a successful man is one that has spent an entire day on the bank of a river without feeling guilty about it. ~Author Unknown

Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. ~Richard Carlson

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering. ~Pooh's Little Instruction Book, inspired by A.A. Milne

Sunday, February 24, 2008

i think that for the past 2 months, i've been slowly and subtlety burning myself out, without me even realising. pushing too hard and trying too hard, that now i feel the repercussions; i cant do (meaning understand) my math, chem, physics assignment, and can only do bio fa while referring to external sources, dont really know what's going on in ss and geog. basically the only subjects which i do okay are eng and chi, which dont even need studying in the first place. maybe i realised it only now because of the frequent breaks in between (taiwan, imcb, cny) that it masks the reason. like i push the blame onto the breaks, when actually it's cos i havent really been listening in class since the start of year? sigh, whatever it is, it's really hard to get back on track now, esp when exams are coming and there doesnt seem to be enough days to study...
but thank goodness i made the right choice, else my mon-fri will be filled up :/
and thank God whoever it was made the right choice.

anyway, SLI on friday was great(: i dont think I performed exceptionally well in spsb and sln item (in fact, i was quite blur about it) but i think overall, spsb did a GREAT JOB, <3 spsb08!
after that, rushing around trying to find a non-existent osl cambodia mentors meeting. we were supposed to celebrate soff's bday, but anyway, confusion reigned and we kept missing each other, and i was going around with soff herself, so yeah...
saw a couple of rj seniors, really miss some of them :(

after that was spsl facil trng, fell asleep midway xD tried to keep awake by constantly eating unhealthy snacks like chips and "popcorn" (ms low's lollipops xD) so yeah, felt extremely full even before lunch.

rushed for nyaa after that, and slacked for much of the camp. did inverted abseil, which was great(: though i wished i could have done dispatching for abseiling :(
as usual, slept late (cant rmb what time, 1 maybe?) and heh, woke up the first! at 645am, when nyaa participants woke up at 630... watched and helped them unpitch tents, cos sec 3s (who were running the show) didnt wake up >:(

went off for house prac without breakfast cos sec 2s werent awake. haha had to become high to hype sec 1s up, but this year's sec ones are mostly a geeky bunch, not hype about house at all... after energizers and teaching them cheers (most of which the lyrics i wasnt sure of anyway), left again for nyaa.

i think the psl facils who helped out were really good(: real glad #17 decided on psls instead of prefects xD

after nyaa, went for my first psl session since orientation! 113's a really great bunch, although a bit eccentric, and they've really improved since orientation :D

then left with #16 to eat lunch, then the rest of us minus wei went to climb asia to get juan's present. while crossing the road to civil service club, saw this animal convulsing on the road. initially thought it was a dog who was sick (like rabies) but after crossing the road, realised it was a cat, and this guy who saw the whole thing said it got hit by a lorry >:( and the lorry driver just drove off. we wanted to pick it off the middle of the road, lest some stupid driver just runs over it, but the guy was nice enough to help, cos we were all a bit ickish. the poor thing, it was a sorry sight, wont describe how it looked cos.. yeah... we were all affected by it (i mean, i'm not really an animal lover, i hate it if animals come near me, but i'm against animal cruelty still!) and sihui was close to tears :/

and anyway, juan's feet were so small, they didnt stock climbing shoes her size, and so we left in juan's dad's car for lab park for rs.

had a quite fun time there, for more details, visit our blog!


that about sums up my weekend.. yeah slept for nearly 3 hours this afternoon? but still feeling tired now, so the moral of the story is: pace yourself, sleep early everynight and dont do stuff which you dont need to. (like blogging... :/)

Thursday, February 21, 2008

long day tmr - sli (630am in sch!!), *bday celebration for a certain someone*, mgm with class ics, nyaa camp, sln gm, nyaa camp.
next day - nyaa camp, house prac, nyaa camp, psl sessions, *bday celebration for another certain someone*, back down to lab park.

kay gotta go pack D:

btw, please go check out my rs blog; i'm so proud of it!:D Labrador Park!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

oral today was. well anyway, i'm glad it's over. (i'm not one for details.. i realise all the time events come and past, but i just brush past it :P if you want details on activities, one good place to go would be to juan's blog.)

anyway, tot i could actually do some studying today, but in fact now i'm sleeping later than ytd -.-

i'm feeling really really really stressed now. cos i dont understand anything in SS, Geog, Physics and Chemistry. as in i can follow lessons, but i dont understand what i'm doing. and i'm just going to flunk all my term 1 tests; i've been falling asleep in nearly every class :/ add to that all the other stuff (RS. odac. psb. house. sln (not much). osl) and i'm really tired.

i think i've been sleeping far too late for far too long. never got back on track after taiwan/imcb. i need to WAKE UP and prioritise.


Quotes to Share (:

Most of us, swimming against the tides of trouble the world knows nothing about, need only a bit of praise or encouragement - and we will make the goal. ~Jerome Fleishman

I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa


I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. ~Jewish Proverb


When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line. ~Ashleigh Brilliant



sleeeppy O: better not sleep in class.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

The Beatitudes (Sermon on the Mount)

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are you when men revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.
Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven.



Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. - Isaiah 40:28-31

i think this purple is nice xP

anyway, went to lab park today, and saw lots of cool stuff. therefore, if you want to be cool, come join my rs xD

"it's a wonder there's so little known about seagrasses!" "yeahh, they're so COOL!" xD haha. (nvm if you dont get it, it's an inside joke :P)

shall post up photos today. if i can find any.

my batch, after LFS :D with ms chia (:

Taiwan! <3>My organising committee group in taiwan(:

The four of us in Taiwan! Lifang, me, Shimin and Wei Shan(:

xD the woolly hats were super cute!! <3!>Our last proper meal in Taiwan :( i miss it :(

What i did at IMCB
Zebra fish embryos! i took it through the microscope xP

After they were hatched!!

The four of us and our mentors (i forgot how they were called :/)

and this is utterly random, but this is my grandma's house! it's in singapore, btw, although it's on stilts. taken quite a few years ago, we've changed car since, and the roof finally doesnt leak. and those white stuff in the pic were artificially added. but point is, there are still houses like this in singapore. it's made of wood, including the kitchen and storage area. quite large, the compound xD


so ends my photo blogging, a once in a blue moon thing. i dont even know why i'm uploading photos at such a time, i've got hw to do and english orals tmr! D: so going to fail, i dont even know how to do the quote thingy. but i'll post learning camp photos sooon! and whatever other photos i took recently. and not so recently. (heh.)

Monday, February 18, 2008

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROY!

anyway, today was a crazy crazy day. pe first block, went slightly crazy. then mood plummeted like crap, and anyway, was feeling pretty tired/down/zonked out, until lunch, when i got slightly high. then ss, and i swear, mr azahar purposely put down my index number one :(

then sli rehearsal; went for like, an hour doing nth, standing around. then went for odac shoot, where we (jas and i) spent another hour stoning around waiting for the photographer. then another hour spent on the wall. seriously, the number of times we went up and down, left and right. i was doing the overhang, but i totally cheated on getting up :P pulled on jas (who was doing right most lane) rope. then after the guy decided he wanted an inverted abseil (or maybe it was mr tan who suggested) but anyway, i thought it was a joke lah! grah.
so after an hour up on the wall, i dont think i ever want to look at it again. it's seriously filthy, and i think one hour on the wall is like the most anyone can handle.
more photoshoot at the roof (the set of pieces under the stairs) then finally went back for sli rehearsal.
went for the dance rehearsal only, but yeah i think i improved from fri. still, i think i'm hopeless at dancing
. and they want me to be the mascot for hadley -.-"""" cos need to dance, and the rest of cheer squad doesnt want to do it >:( i'll just be a total disgrace lor.

reached home at 8+, had piano at 845. i bet $2000 i am going to flunk my grade 8.

anyway, super tired now. was contemplating doing a soffia (sleeping early and waking at 2am to do work) but figured i cmi.


rs tmr(:

Sunday, February 17, 2008

learning camp is over! :( my last learning camp. hope everyone had fun, and that my batch learnt lots (about bananas and wei) but sad though it is, must look forward. and what do i see? nyaa camp, osl selection camp and sln camp. and eng orals, chem SPA, ss sa, math pt, hmt sa and geog sa. and rs report. thinking short term, sli items. i think it'd be a miracle if i can pull both off properly :/ thinking long term, GRADE 8 PIANO, expedition, overnight cycling(!), osl.

anyway, should finally get started on my hw D: and start practicing my piano... havent practiced in 2 weeks, i'm so going to flunk grade 8 :/



times change, people change, cultures change. i think my disc profiling/values thingy is quite true. i'm a close to pure S btw, changed so much from s2.



Voices That Care
Lonely fear lights up the sky
Can't help but wonder why
You're so far away
There, you had to take a stand
In someone else's land
Life can be so strange

I wish we never had to choose
To either win or lose
We could find a way
But I won't turn my back again
You're only around the bend
So hurry home till then...till then

[Chorus:]
Stand tall, stand tall
Voices that care are crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

Hurry home

I'm not here to justify the cause
Or to count up all the loss
That's all been done before

Just can't let ya feel alone
When there's so much love at home
We send it out to you
(Michaels' solo)
All the courage that you've known
The bravery you've shown
Clearly lights the way

We pray, to make the future bright
To make the wrong things right
Right or wrong
We're all prayin' you remain strong
That's why we're all here and singin' along

Voices that care are cryin' out loud, yeah
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

You are the voice, you are the light

Stand tall, stand tall
Stand proud
Voices that care are crying out loud
They're crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

Stand tall, stand tall
Voices that care are crying out loud
Ooh, and when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright
You are the voice and the guiding light
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright


odac. osl. psb. sln. house.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

havent posted in a long time, been busy doing sth that will start tmr!!! so excited!(: after all that hard work, editing updating correcting cutting and adding, everything's going to be put in place tmr!! hope and pray that everything turns out well and smooth, that we didnt overlook something and that it doesnt rain:D

pity the number of participants is not a lot:( really very sad about that and just odac in general.


ah wells, must appreciate what we have, and i really do appreciate everyone that's in and comes(:

on another note, thanks to all who gave me stuff today, i'm sorry i'm not in the habit of giving out valentine gifts xP dont see the point, i mean we should learn to appreciate our friends everyday and not just on feb 14 right? either ways, Happy Valentine's to all(: Happy Friendship Week! oh ya, my hugging record is such a failure lah, i didnt even manage to fill up the whole sheet:/


anyway, spsb sli item is so cool(: feeling quite bad about not doing more though. planning osl selection camp stuff is also going on now, and i feel really really bad about not doing anything! :( and the sln sli item is also out, but uhh havent practiced at all...


kay, hope everything goes well tmr!!


All Star
Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me
I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed
She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb
In the shape of an "L" on her forehead

Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb

So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Chorus:]
Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play
Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid
And all that glitters is gold
Only shooting stars break the mold

It's a cool place and they say it gets colder
You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older
But the meteor men beg to differ
Judging by the hole in the satellite picture

The ice we skate is getting pretty thin
The waters getting warm so you might as well swim
My world's on fire how about yours
That's the way I like it and I never get bored

[Repeat Chorus 2x]

Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas
I need to get myself away from this place
I said yep what a concept
I could use a little fuel myself
And we could all use a little change
Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming
Back to the rule and I hit the ground running
Didn't make sense not to live for fun
Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb
So much to do so much to see
So what's wrong with taking the back streets
You'll never know if you don't go
You'll never shine if you don't glow

[Repeat Chorus]

Monday, February 11, 2008

strangely enough, i think going to school is like earthing for me (i'm talking physics here) like when i dont go to school (or come into contact with anyone from sch) there's a charge up of negative electrons, and only when i go to sch do these excess negative charges get earthed and i'm left neutral or even positive(:

i'm seriously losing stamina, muscles have morphed into fats :/ should do more PTs :P



a lot changes now, and like what i heard very frequently in taiwan, 计划永远赶不上变化。planning will never catch up with changes. you plan for sth today, later after that you hear of more changes. only hope people will understand.




PSB Friendship Week Photobooth! visit tomorrow!(:



Way Back Into Love

I've been living with a shadow overhead,
I've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed,
I've been lonely for so long,
Trapped in the past,
I just can't seem to move on!

I've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away,
Just in case I ever need them again someday,
I've been setting aside time,
To clear a little space in the corners of my mind!

All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
Oooooh.

I've been watching but the stars refuse to shine,
I've been searching but i just don't see the signs,
I know that it's out there,
There's got to be something for my soul somewhere!

(Hugh Grant)
I've been looking for someone to shed some light,
Not somebody just to get me through the night,
I could use some direction,
And I'm open to your suggestions.

All I want to do is find a way back into love.
I can't make it through without a way back into love.
And if I open my heart again,
I guess I'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end!
Oooooooh, Ooooooh, Ooooooh.

There are moments when I don't know if it's real
Or if anybody feels the way I feel
I need inspiration
Not just another negotiation

All I want to do is find a way back into love,
I can't make it through without a way back into love,
And if I open my heart to you,
I'm hoping you'll show me what to do,
And if you help me to start again,
You know that I'll be there for you in the end!




to my friends who make lessons bearable(: soff, roy, reshmi, eunice, razia! among many others(:

Sunday, February 10, 2008

went cycling from east coast to changi village and back again with family ytd (: but really tiring though it's good training... (actually i was cycling rather slowly...)
then came back and went for a swim, and for the first time, took photos underwater with my camera! my whole family was so excited over it :P shall post photos when i finally do so.. haha i think to post up my photos alone would take a whole day, and time is something that i am always short of. though of course, you can always argue and say everyone has the same amount of time, you have to make time for what you want to do.

which includes:
- uploading all my photos into photobucket (i've got 15 over gb of photos, it's not an easy task...)
- publishing photos and printing photos
- practicing piano more often (so i wont fail my grade 8 in march :/)
- learning guitar!
- going out more often, since it's my last year in rgs...
- putting in more time and effort in all my commitments

and so on so forth.


went for dinner with my extended maternal family again today, (the same 23 people) along with my grandma's 2 brothers and 2 maids. there was karaoke at the place we went, and so they (the adults) started singing. we went there before, and yeah the choices are still the same. but the thing is, my mom's entire family (her mom, her 2 brothers and 3 sisters as well as herself) all cant sing. like seriously, they're tone deaf. so you can imagine, all of us kids were like, :P making fun of our mothers who were valiantly trying to sing. you'd really die of horror just listening to them xD thank goodness we had a room to ourselves and it was quite late so the restaurant was rather deserted, else we'd have scared away the rest of the customers :P


anyway, finally finished my 2 jian baos and 1 zuo wen. gave up on the xiao lian bi and math assignment. rs report and physics journal (from before taiwan) left :/





bad to worse, worse to worst. i'm really afraid that odac will just crumble and die in my hands :(

Friday, February 08, 2008

Move Along

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me,when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do

And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along
still no work done. i dont understand why people think people from my school are different from those in others. dont we all not want to do hw, dont want to go school, like to sleep late and wake up late etc? if you insist on looking for differences, there will always be some for you to find. why not concentrate on the similar points instead?

went out with my whole maternal family (read 公公, 婆婆, 大舅,大姨, 大姨仗, their 4 kids, 二姨, her 2 kids and the maid, 小舅, 小舅妈, their 1 kid, 小姨, 小姨仗 and the 5 in my family) to the movies today. watched Ah Long Pte Ltd, and it's very hilarious! seriously, it's damn funny, you can hear the whole theatre laughing!!

then went to my second aunt's house for dinner, and ended off with photo taking (as usual). then cos my first aunt was selling some bags, she got my cousins to advertise those for her. meaning my 3 female cousins (who are all older and taller than me) had to model the bags and shoot lots of photos. it's super funny, the things my family did just to take those shots. like using newspaper to fan to create that breeze...


kay gotta get back to work :/


ps i realise my cousin (who's a bio teacher in sajc) set the rjc bio paper (for last year i think)! xD so cool.

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Happy New Year to all who actually visit my blog.

had fun ytd, not switching on my comp or doing any work at all, but if i want to complete my hw, my holiday's over. kinda sucks :( chi compo, 2 chi newspaper cuttings, various math ws and assignments, chem assignment, geog fa, physics assignment corrections, physics assignment, physics journal (long overdue)... wow D: and i intended to finish the 2 chi newspaper cuttings before i sleep, but i doubt that's possible now...
i really wonder what i do with my time..



my life seems like a huge lie, a delusion.
many thoughts, running through my mind, too fast for me to catch and crystallise into words.


made a huge decision on tues, with the help of soffia and juan, and it's a really tough but necessary decision.




i really miss wales, malacca, cambodia and taiwan. wales for the wonderful break and weather, malacca for my dearest classmates, cambodia cos osl rocks, the people are great and i learnt a lot, and taiwan cos of the people and the break. i think i just like overseas trips where i'm somewhat removed from reality. cos reality hurts.



intakes, dynamics, future, present. everything, when you compare to the past, is so different, so wrong. or maybe it's just me.

Monday, February 04, 2008

"First" day of school today. well it didnt go that bad(: real glad to see my classmates again!

a whole load of hw, i think i'm so dead tmr :/ after sch there's chem prac, then odac, then i need to rush to church for Ash Tuesday (they changed the day cos of cny) then to math tuition, then i need to do math assignments and ss fa. how come i have the feeling i'm either not going to be able to finish it or i'll sleep late?





no matter what you say, you're something special.

Sunday, February 03, 2008

"You'll Be In My Heart"

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand Hold it tight

I will protect you
from all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
you seem so strong
My arms will hold you,
keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
the way we feel
They just don't trust
what they can't explain
I know we're different but,
deep inside us
We're not that different at all

And you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know
We need each other,
to have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on,
Now and forever more

Oh, you'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be in my heart, always
Always



i miss 101'07. i miss 101'07 class ics. i miss 2007 orientation. and when you compare this song to I Hope You Dance.
lfs today was. quite crap, but not unexpected. i was the first climber out, so suay :( but wells, least i saw everyone. and we all fell at the same place, though somehow my ranking's higher.

after that went to ang mo kio hub (cos we got sick of j8) and walked around AND FREAKING BOUGHT THIS BATCH THINGY. i dont even know what it's called, but it's revolting, everyone says so but still we got it. i'm going to look like a freak on cny celeb. along with my batch, heh xD


dont wanna go sch tmr, i feel like holiday's ended and it's my first day of school. cant imagine the amount of hw and catching up i'll have to do. shootss.



should i still continue? i feel like i'm shortchanging them and myself. havent gone for ages. :/ maybe i should just drop out again. but it seems very mean. should i just carry on and pack my schedule so tight i dont get to enjoy, or should i just drop it, face the music but enjoy myself after?

Saturday, February 02, 2008

(: kay i had a very nice friday and saturday (:

imcb on fri, i really want to go back there again! :( i wonder if i can go again in jc...

rushed to school (took me over an hour) for housé commé (which lasted less than an hour) then waited for half an hour for my busy batchmate.

went to her house to dump stuff then went over to j8 to meet up with, as juan calls them, 双胞胎 (twins). walked around ntuc getting food, went to rent dvds then went back to eat. had a really fun time(:

shortly after andrealim and wei came over, we cam-whored, watched the rental dvds (take the lead and doctor dolittle) and slept.

juan's dad drove us to french sch (wei went home for tuition -.-) and met up with juniors. nth much to say, only i think we should train harder.

after that took a ride from ms chia to j8 again, and we strolled around randomly, then after we got fed up with meeting so many j1 seniors went to library to have a talk. yeah. quite worrying. very. but it's never the same anymore.



really hope tmr goes well.





before and after. compare and contrast. either way i look at it, history's history.






and i wont forget.