In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Monday, March 31, 2008

many people sick today. juan, nair, and 2 others from class (:/) darned om :(
but i suppose... ah watever not my concern.

slept in english today. and chinese. but thankfully not in chem... :/ i think life sucks when you want to sleep, but you cant. it's torturous. we're all gonna turn out like mr tan :P


this month's hell, like what soff said (she has it worse, she's got malay debate -.-)
bio SA, sports fest (crap! havent taught cheer to s2-s4), PFT 5 items, chem SA, ORA, Outram, RS PPT!!!, PFT 2.4km (i'm so gonna fail. havent ran in a month or more), Eng SA, MYA.

or maybe it's just this whole year.



and cos of ora, spent my afternoon walking around carrefour, staring at price tags in an empty aisle. quite sad you know, i suspect the other shoppers think i'm a bit mad. ora had better be a success. I DONT WANT TO FAIL BIO.


looking forward to holidays. upcoming one :P 1 may (in the middle of mya :'( )




what you mean to me.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Crash and Burn - Savage Garden
When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart
I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head
When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face the day

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone




au contraire.


ora D: odac + osl



feeling extremely tired. ora stuff, hw and i havent even studied for bio. not that i have been sleeping late, just that i cant get to sleep. got to bed at 1230 last night, at 1+ was still awake. really horrible feeling. and i cant even wake up late. cant wait for fri.
and mgms from mon-wed each morning, so there goes my morning naps. please dont meet on thu morning :/



think i just might fail bio. everyone else seems to be studying. and exams every week. the next time someone asks me "so your school no o level right? should be quite slack right?" i'll reply "yep of cos it is. our exam period is extended from somewhere mid of term 1 all the way till term 3 (for s4, term 4 for rest). exams every week, should be quite slack, no?" -.-


live my days week by week. event by event. sports fest. ora/outram. wakeboarding. mya -.- hols.




everyone has 24hours a day. how do we spend it?
last house prac yesterday. this year's sec ones are a bit weird, but nvm.
2nd last psl session. feel quite sad, that next week would be MY very very very last psl session :( i wanna make it a good one(:

after that stoned for about hour and a half with my psls at far east, walking all over the place trying to get lunch and finally settling beneath the escalator(: had fun, i did, they're really nice psls :D

met up with juan, shimin and their om junior yi lin (sp.) went to ps subway for lunch, and watched them. it was seriously hilarious... after lunch, juan and i finally decided where we wanted to go (bugis, climbing, bishan, library xD, dno where else): cathay!

haha it's a nice quiet place, in the basement there's this koi pond and so we sat there and just chatted. someone selling umbro perfume approached us, trying to sell 2 for $25 :P haha. obv we didnt buy, didnt have the money...
got sick of there after a while, just walked back to ps. passed by This Fashion, and so we decided to look for overalls for juan's om, and look at the clothes there. haha, :P we basically just ridiculed nearly everything there!
went to Dhoby exchange next, and started window shopping? just looking at stuffs, walking and talking anyway. haha fashion sense quite similar, juan's and mine... no ridiculous fashion get ups! xD
haha after that went back to PS and walked from the top floor down, looked at the cool guitars there and decided we shall take guitar lessons(: then we went to spot light and daiso! they have really cool stuff there :D didnt go to my favourite carrefour though, sadly :( haha.

then cos juan had to go her ahma house in lavender and i had to go for chi tuition, we went back. was a really fun day(: haha but poor juan got rashes from annie's sofa :P


much food for thought ytd.





sigh, i think i'm going to flunk chem spa sa next week... i cant do the fa!! :(




what next?

Friday, March 28, 2008

had psb gm today. which caused me to wonder: am i doing enough for the board? i havent been doing much, sadly. cant even mentor my class ics properly :/ which is definitely something that must be improved upon, cos that's one of my biggest reasons for joining spsb (if anyone would like to know, though i'm not really doing a good job out of it)

maybe it's time to re-look my commitments, and do more for psb. it is after all, my starting point. turning point. whatever you call it. psb gave me so much more and made me realised a lot, than what i could ever give back to it. the only thing i can hope to do is to inspire more people to join psb. unfortunately, i'm not very inspiring. nor am i really doing much about it. so i must really do more for psb(: i dont really know the jpsls, psls though... (and i doubt they know me:/) ah wells, must think positive(:


osl 08 results out today. and really, it was nerve wracking and i felt scared, even though i was the mentor and releasing the results. cos the simple act of telling them who's in and who's not, has huge implications (for me). it means a lot. it means that osl 07 is over, really (even though i'm really proud to say that sheila and tq have been doing a good job of the snail mail!<3) it means that it's the beginning of a new journey, for the sec threes, and for us too. it means that (not in a negative way) i have to work with the sec threes in my comm. it's just that it finalises everything, that things have changed. and even though this team is gonna be good, i'll never forget osl cambodia 07, and the fabulous team i had. the mentors 07 really did a good job. just hope we can do the same, and more.

and at the same time, i feel guilty, cos i've been putting osl over sln. havent been going for many sln stuff cos of osl. and yeah, obviously i prioritise osl over sln, but that doesnt mean i neglect sln :/ somehow i put on that badge with a slight tinge of guilt, that i havent really done much for sln either. or tried to tell people what sln does (that it's not a "sleeping" leadership board)


and of course i cant talk about my commitments without talking about odac. only odac has been my main focus for the past few weeks (as it should be) and i've really been thinking a lot about it. and i've been thinking about how i got where i am. and i've been thinking about how to get enough PTs scheduled in. how to squeeze everything that needs to be covered in a limited number of saturdays. how to get more attendance. and more.

most of the time, if you see me looking pissed, i'm really actually not (but if you say that i might). i'm just thinking, and when i'm thinking, i dont smile (cos ppl usually assume weird stuff when you smile and think..) and when i dont smile, i look dao, pissed, annoyed etc. but i do have random mood swings though... and i scare people D: (which is quite bad, isnt it...)


anyway, math sa today was a disaster, thought it went okay until i realise i got 3 qns wrong.
went out with soff for lunch cos we had lunch, free block, ces xD


last house prac tmr :/ feeling happy (cos it means i dont have to reach sch by 715 anymore!) but sad (cos i havent been doing much for house, though honestly, it's not one of my highest priority.. i try though!)
hope we won bento packing! ours was cool :D



aching muscles, should i go climbing tmr?








just like it's supposed to.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

indecisive, apprehensive, fear, relief.


climbing top-rope today was an unqualified disaster, couldnt even clear a 6a. maybe cos i was tired out from bouldering (where we saw a horrifying incident). or maybe cos i was too worried about math to concentrate properly. or maybe i'm just trying to find excuses.


ah well. nothing better than a math sa to end the week. hope i'll be able to do well :/ :/ seems to much to be hoping for though.



i need you to tell me, to convince me, what it's worth.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

when you feel like you're shrinking, as each comes up, you feel yourself getting smaller, more constricted, until it feels as though the weight of (the ten years series)book in front of you could crush you.

when you feel as though everything is thrown upon you, to get the cogs of the system working smoothly.

when you feel as if no one understands you.

when you feel like just quitting and giving up, cos why do you even bother?

when you just feel like it. but there's nothing you can do about it.





maybe tmr's climbing will make it better. and tell me again, what i am doing it all for.



dont mind me.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

you know the feeling that you've done your best, but still haven't done enough?
that's the way i'm feeling now.

that i've put in my best effort into something that i love, but yet, still dont seem to be doing enough. that i dont see the results i expect to see.

what, what can i do to make things become the way i want it to be? for them to see and know what more needs to be done?

how they, really aren't quite measuring up to my expectations, that there's so much more that they should be doing, should be feeling?

or is it just me. maybe it is.


feeling sick now. runny nose and cough and slight sore throat. hope i dont end up with a fever :/ and as much as i dont want to go back to school and lessons tomorrow, i dont want to miss school.






try and convince me otherwise. that what i'm doing is worth doing.
i reckon i've caught flu, cos there's a towering stack of used tissue beside me at my work desk and a huge pile in the bin... :/


math viva later, hope i know my stuff :/ (therefore i'm chionging through all the ws now)

i dont fancy this to be a very good week. supposed to go climbing yesterday, but my mom wanted to go out for dinner, so couldnt. was supposed to go climbing today, but i have math tuition at 8pm, and world trade games ends at 530, so i cant. dont know if we're going climbing on thu, i suppose so, but i have math tuition at 8pm anyway (and math after climbing is a depressing thought), and on fri, there's math sa :(


i really want my tests back, because i want to see if i've done badly, cos if i have, it's motivation for me to work harder (else i'll just continue slacking) :/ but we havent even gotten out COMMONWEALTH ESSAY, let alone other subject SAs...

Monday, March 24, 2008

so annoying.

In quotes: The ethics of embryos

The government says an "accommodation" will be reached with Labour MPs opposed to a controversial bill which would allow animal-human embryos to be created for scientific research.

In the last few days, prominent members of the Catholic clergy have called for MPs to have a free vote on the bill.

ALAN JOHNSON, HEALTH SECRETARY

"For people out there suffering from Parkinson's disease and motor neurone disease, this is not a question of some issue about the procedure through the House of Commons. This is an issue about whether we can find the drugs that can cure their illnesses. So this is the heart of the matter."

THE MOST REVEREND PETER SMITH,
ROMAN CATHOLIC ARCHBISHOP OF CARDIFF

"This is a matter which is clearly affecting many MPs.

"I have written to the prime minister myself asking him that, in view of these very important issues which touch on the sacredness of human life, its meaning and purpose, would he please grant a free vote, because that is what is really required."

SHAUN WOODWARD, NORTHERN IRELAND SECRETARY

Mr Woodward said the bill was an important piece of government business which must be passed, but suggested a compromise was possible.

"I believe it is possible, if we listen to the arguments and we remove the misunderstandings, to find a way forward so the government can complete its business."

CARDINAL KEITH O'BRIEN, ROMAN CATHOLIC ARCHBISHOP
OF ST ANDREWS AND EDINBURGH

"It is difficult to imagine a single piece of legislation which more comprehensively attacks the sanctity and dignity of human life than this particular bill."

EVAN HARRIS, LIBERAL DEMOCRAT

Mr Harris, a member of the Commons Innovation, Universities, Science and Skills Select Committee, said it was right to conduct research that "might be used to treat people with terrible diseases".

CARDINAL CORMAC MURPHY-O'CONNOR

"Certainly, there are some aspects of this bill on which I believe there ought to be a free vote, because Catholics and others will want to vote according to their conscience."

STEPHEN POUND, LABOUR MP

Mr Pound has said he will not be voting for the measure.

"We seem to be moving into a sphere where we are actually taking on the role of the creation of life."

MEDICAL RESEARCH COUNCIL; ROYAL SOCIETY;
WELLCOME TRUST; ACADEMY OF MEDICAL SCIENCES

"This research has massive potential to provide treatments for serious debilitating disorders ranging from developmental abnormalities in young children, to stroke, cancer, HIV/Aids, diabetes and Parkinson's disease, as well as better and safer treatment for infertile couples."

ANGLICAN BISHOP OF DURHAM, RT REV TOM WRIGHT

"The irony is that this secular utopianism is based on a belief in an unstoppable human ability to make a better world, while at the same time it believes that we have the right to kill unborn children and surplus old people, and to play games with the humanity of those in between."

DENIS MACSHANE, FORMER LABOUR MINISTER

"MPs are also ethically challenged by decisions to go to war, to vote for nuclear weapons, or on issues like ID cards or length of detention before charges.

"I respect the Catholic and other religions, just as I respect CND and Liberty, but if every difficult issue with ethical implications is a matter for free votes, then democracy, Parliament, and the purpose of government becomes meaningless."

DR KIERAN BREEN, PARKINSON'S DISEASE SOCIETY

"It gives us a tool by which we can try to understand why nerve cells die in Parkinson's. It will allow us to generate nerve cells which have the exact same genetic material that comes from the people who have Parkinson's.

"By doing this we can understand why the nerve cells live and why the nerve cells die. And possibly then develop treatments and even a cure for the condition."

ANDREW COPSON, BRITISH HUMANIST ASSOCIATION

"The ethical focus of our discussions should be what's best for human welfare. The research this bill allows will help to cure, find cures for diseases and it will do so, at very little ethical cost.

"It should be endorsed and approved and go forward."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/politics/7310496.stm


embryo research doesnt make sense.

"The ethical focus of our discussions should be what's best for human welfare. The research this bill allows will help to cure, find cures for diseases and it will do so, at very little ethical cost."

so what, they're saying that it's right for us to waste a couple of human lives in the name of research? supposedly for the best of human welfare?
do you think so? i think i would feel somewhat uncomfortable knowing that just for me to be cured of what used to be a terminal illness, other human lives were lost.
why cant people just accept that it's time for them to leave their earthly life? it's not like it's the end of your life, cos certain religions believe in eternal life anyway (like Christians) so if you dont believe in it (cos you're an atheist or whatever) then just believe in it and dont kill others!

kay i dont think what i just said make sense, but i think it's very clear then i dont like embryo research. whatever they say, it's unethical.


in the name of progress and development, people kill life. whether it's plant life, animal life, and now even human life, it's still life.


now for some photos(:






and because i have so many photos of crabs, i shall choose one nice one(:

and one nice one of frogs xD


i realise this is a really gross pic...

looks somewhat the same... though now you can see liang zi -.-


an extremely adorable boy whose parents are in the church choir (:
and my all time favourite brother(:








and can you see how the world will be, if there is even one in the future?

just in case you dont talk to me or cant see my display picture. get the pun?


btw, i'm really jealous of people who can sing harmony without thinking twice about it -thinks of the people who can- :( the only thing i can sing is whatever tune that's the loudest...



i want to learn guitar!!

Sunday, March 23, 2008

3/23/2008
11:00:14 PM
+rigario #16 it's all about you. <3
jocelynE. #16. OurSharingofLove!! dwen an! i hate chemistry.
yeah i guess D:
3/23/2008
10:53:25 PM
juan ♠ /16 JETS! So small, or nothing at all.
jocelynE. #16. OurSharingofLove!! dwen an! xD cool xD
grawr yeah!
3/23/2008
10:54:23 PM
+ ; 16 jellyfish "i knew i was a nut when all the squirrels started to stare at me" YAY!
jocelynE. #16. OurSharingofLove!! dwen an! xD cool xD
yea

something i've realised, is that people's convos with me tends to end with a "yeah" or similar.

kay i'm feeling exceedingly bored. and i've got darned chemistry assignments that i dont know how to do.




there was always a time when i had a zillion things to say to you, only i never did. and never will.
One Way - Hillsong
I lay my life down at your feet
Cause You're the only one I need
I turn to You and You are always there
In troubled times, it's You I seek
I put You first that's all I need
I humble all I am, All to You

One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for

You are always, always there
Every how and everywhere
Your grace abounds so deeply within me
You will never ever change
Yesterday today the same
Forever till forever meets no end

One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for

One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for


You are the Way, the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight
For You, we're living all for You

> You are the Way, the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight
For You, we're living all for You

You are the Way, the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight
For You, we're living all for You

You are the Way, the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight
For You, we're living all for You

You are the Way, the Truth and the Life
We live by faith and not by sight
For You, we're living all for You

One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One Way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for
One way, Jesus
You're the only one that I could live for





"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." -Proverbs 3:5-6

and because i'm so free nowadays (i knew i shouldnt have dropped congress, but anyways, least i have free time later on in the year when a certain someone finally gets done with something to do CLIMBING with me...) i go blog surfing. and today, i visited the blog of a bunch of the sweetest people i ever met:D 101'07!<3 they're seriously the nicest class i ever met (even though some of them dao me now :( ) and they're just so pro :D i really miss them very much, though of course there's 113 now! they didnt tell me their class blog url though :/


ahh okay i'm way excited now(: teamseagrass! hahahaha! what with that and possible climbing instructor at Climb Asia, i dont mind being so slack now that i have nothing to do (except to study, which i dont want to) AHHHH tanjuanmin, yapsihui and yapsiling, you three had better be free to go with me on whatever thing it is xD #16<3


the earliest i can go with teamseagrass (to SEMAKAU which is a way cool place with lots of cool stuff but people dont really care about it :/) will be MAY. and the earliest i can go do that climbing instructor thing is when TANJUANMIN is freeee :( which isnt for ages :( heh emotional blackmail. fine, go to your maryland and have fun while i rot away at homee :( (HEH or better yet, i go climb and leave you there)



:D:D:D:D feeling contented now. only when our results get back (cant even rmb which subjects, and piano) i think i'm going to die. get grounded for life and study my head off :( I NEED A STUDY MATE.





after much immature ranting, i shall become a sophisticated soon-to-be-16 year old xD God bless everyone, while i go off and TRY to study math :'( (meanwhile ignoring everything else that's less than perfect)

Saturday, March 22, 2008

there are three things i really love (about my life).
first is RS thingies. like beach combing, coastal walks etc, it's really really cool, you get to see all sorts of cool stuff that people think only exist in other countries. though some stuff you dont really see at lab park :(
second is OSL. or just service learning. like today, my psls (of 113!) showed the class these videos about the kids in countries like africa, and it was really quite sad. i really hope i can do something about it, like maybe be a doctor next time or sth. i hope.
and last but not least, purely recreational, CLIMBING! <3 haha. but it is quite selfish :/

yeahh like when i grow up, i wanna be a doctor and go help in less developed countries, but i also wanna do like environmental thingies like save our coastal shores or sth (cos they're really in need of saving) but i also wanna continue climbing... :/ quite ambitious arent i.. sigh. so i really dunno what i'm going to study after jc... but it's def gonna be sth about bio xD



you know, when you read your pri sch sci textbooks, they talk about how the earth was placed at that perfect position where life can thrive, not to close to the sun that it's too hot, and not to far from the sun that there's no heat. but now with global warming, we ourselves go heat up the earth, and cause great environmental disasters. God created such a wonderful Earth, with amazing creatures and all, then now we go and kill them all off. it's quite astounding, really, how humans (just ONE species) can do so much damage to the rest of the earth.

and when we worry about our future, and governments talk about development and all, it's based on inductive reasoning (heh sorry it's an rgs trait xD) like just because the sun rose yesterday and has been rising since the start of time, it will rise tomorrow, and for the rest of time. just because something happened previously, everytime, it will happen in the future. but at the rate of our unsustainable development, who's to say we're going to even have an earth in the future? that we will still be living on this planet and havent killed ourselves off it? maybe in the future, we'll see (Endangered species: Homo sapiens) and a couple of humans kept captive in a cage...

it's like we all want to do something (or most of us anyway, me included) but we're just too comfortable with our current lifestyle (cars, air con, laptop etc and MEAT. we consume a whole lot of meat.) yet if we continue with our current unsustainable lifestyle, in the future we're just going to have to change it entirely as our oceans and seas become devoid of all sea creature (or some see it as seafood), all arable land turns to desert, no more plants and therefore no more animals, and so on so forth. quite scary (even if it's not scientifically true)

well we should do something about it, and start now.




"And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the sky." So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living and moving thing with which the water teems, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good." - Genesis 1:20‑21

Friday, March 21, 2008

heh i heard the greatest news ever! :D super cool :D hahahaha. juan and i, climbing instructors?! xD how exciting xD


btw i cant stand annoying people. argh.



how come WE were so scared of our seniors in sec one? or maybe just cos our year is just filled with nice people. torn between the two.


hate this. anyway, i seriously feel slack nowadays. good thing i suppose, only i'm not using the time to study xP

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

here's a cool story (the blog has lots of super cool pics xD)
http://tidechaser.blogspot.com/2008/03/crab-spiders-tale.html
and if you're too busy to read that post, here's what struck me:
While many people are shedding a tear or two for the declining population of sharks, dolphins, turtles and other bigger animals, how many felt the pain when millions of little critters sacrificed their lives for our development?

even our school is doing the "save the sharks" movement (which is great of course)... i think development sucks sometimes...
oh yay i'm happyyy:D
we're finally done with rs oral presentation slides! of course, we havent done results and discussion much, but well, least we got MOST of it out:DDDD

irritated sihui with this today :P

I'm Yours - Jason Mraz
Well, you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks, and I'm trying to get back
before the cool done run out I'll be giving it my best test
and nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention
reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more,
no more it cannot wait I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love
listen to the music at the moment maybe sing with me
ah, la peaceful melody
it's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait I'm sure
there's no need to complicate our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
and bending over backwards just to see it clearer
my breath fogged up the glass
and so i drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
to rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
it's what we aim to do
our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more,
no more, it cannot wait I'm sure
(there's no need to complicate our time is short
it cannot wait, I'm yours 2x
no please don't complicate our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours
no please don't complicate our time is short
this is our fate, I'm yours
no please don't complicate no more, no more
it cannot wait, the sky is yours!)

Well open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music at the moment come and dance with me
ah, la one big family
it's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved
Open up your mind and see like me
open up your plans and damn you're free
look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
listen to the music at the moment come and dance with me
ah, la happy family
it's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved
listen to the music at the moment come and dance with me
ah, la peaceful melodies
it's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved...


but i like the song so WHATEVER sihui xD it's so bouncy and cute.. lyrics dont really make sense, but the tune is nice(:



climb asia yesterday was way cool :D should go down often... mr chew (the branch manager) is really nice and uh helpful...

and there's this COOL EATING PLACE! heh xD

Monday, March 17, 2008

Look What You've Done - JET
Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to prove

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone

Take my photo off the wall
If it just won't sing for you
'Cause all that's left has gone away
And there's nothing there for you to do

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
Oh well, it seems like such fun
Until you lose what you had won

Oh, look what you've done
You've made a fool of everyone
A fool of everyone
A fool of everyone



i think sometimes, it sucks to have a public blog. diaries are much better, if outdated.

today was such a slack day! free block, chinese (watched spirited away xD), recess, english (watched pride and prejudice) then can go home. but cos we wanted to finish watching pride and prejudice, we stayed back :D

pride and prejudice is super nice! and cool! i think it's super cool :D dont you think it'd be cool to live in that era (Georgian era, late 18th century) haha then all the guys are rather gentlemanly, you curtsy at everyone and you speak rather eloquently and with wit xD so cool lah!

i read the book before, but the movie is so much cooler, cos you can actually see and visualise it.. haha mr darcy and elizabeth is super cute (:



on the dark side, tmr is packed with rubbish subjects :( so horrible...



(: we should have more movie days in school!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

back from Sedili! :D great fun there, though of course like all overseas trips, it ends far too soon :/ the place was quite nice, except for the ants infestation right outside our door D: haha spent a good amount of time killing ants. on the last day also splashed around in the insect-filled pool :P haha it was really nice, the trip, many thanks to the teachers who organised it! :D


anyway, i'm down with a sorethroat now (due to late night binging, heh..) and my parents made me go to the doctors and now i have 4 different types of medication to eat :(


i think my brain's filled with fluff and dirt now, cos i really cant think... quite surprised, i can actually do my math! i JUST started on holiday hw :(


gah i'm feeling very lazy.. there's a lot i could do.. update the osl blog :/ come up with sth for rs (like our oral presentation, or report, or the blog...) D: study chem/math/bio/physics before hand... aiya, endless things i could do (or should do) but i feel like a total sloth... must have been spending too much time with the twins D: how terrible! :P our rs is just going to disintegrate at this rate...


oh ya, pictures from sedili (and osl) will come one day, i promise! :P when i finally get down to uploading them on my comp xD

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

i'm rather interested in european history, i realise. at least the part of it where christianity comes into play... (: reading up on the dark ages now D:


i'm really really worried about odac... with attendance hitting an all time low, values and thinkings changed so drastically since when i was a s1, it would really be a miracle if odac could survive for the next few years AND still hold on to its main objectives and goals. really, i think it would just turn into a hobby club in a few years, or just disintegrate like volleyball... :/ :/ this isnt good.




Psalm 130(129) "A prayer of repentance and trust"

Out of the depth I cry to you, O Lord
Lord, hear my voice!
O let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my pleading

If you, O Lord, should mark our guilt,
Lord, who would survive?
But with you is found forgiveness:
for this we revere you.

My soul is waiting for the Lord.
I count on his word.
My soul is longing for the Lord
more than those who watch for daybreak.
(Let the watchers count on daybreak
and Israel on the Lord).

Because with the Lord there is mercy
and fullness of redemption,
Israel indeed he will redeem
from all its iniquity.




why do Christians not commemorate Good Friday? i'm sure everyone has heard of Easter Sunday (and probably associate it with easter bunnies and easter eggs) but Good Friday? probably just know it as a holiday..
Good Friday is the day we commemorate as Jesus dying on the cross for us. "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have everlasting life." - John 3:16

i think it's quite difficult to believe that God loves us all, that He gave His only son to die for us sinners, and through Jesus dying and rising again, we will be promised eternal life. i can quite imagine what skeptics and atheists could say. but then again, that's why it is important in religions to have Faith, isnt it? Faith, Love, Forgiveness, Repentance i think are all important in Catholicism...





that aside, i'm having a pretty rubbish holiday so far. is it better to have a holiday so jam packed and full that you dont have time for a breather, or to have all the plans not yet concrete and cancelled off at the last minute, leaving you with time to sleep and do nothing? btw, there are no nice tv shows from 3-4 pm :(

Monday, March 10, 2008

just looking through all my photos, wondering which i should print. still have some in my dad's laptop, my mom's laptop, and with various other people. but still, looking at photos bring back memories.

and try as i do to not think about it, i still miss them, really.
and looking at all my photos, i realise i have lots of blackmail photos :P teachers, seniors, batchmates, juniors xD should post one every week or sth...

You're the Inspiration - Chicago
You know our love was meant to be
The kind of love that lasts forever
And I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

And I know, yes I know that it's plain to see
We're so in love when we're together
And I know that I need you here with me
From tonight until the end of time

You should know, everywhere I go
You're always on my mind,
in my heart In my soul

You're the meaning in my life
You're the inspiration
You bring feeling to my life
You're the inspiration
Wanna have you near me
I wanna have you hear me sayin'
No one needs you more than I need you

selection camp's over, and for me, it was great fun planning it and carrying it out with my wonderful team:D i'm real glad we're working together, and yep, osl cambodia 08 is so gonna be a blast!(:
slept a total of 0.5 hours that night, with shimin :P kinda gives you new perspectives, being on a different side of the camp. instead of sitting on the steps, you're standing in front. instead of being shouted at, you're the one shouting. one thing i must say about this batch of sec 3s is that they're plain queer. the weirdest things they do, seriously. like, putting their shoes in their tent. i'm so sorry, i think i kinda ruined it, but when i saw it i just burst out laughing....

piano exam just now was so screwed. i think i just wasted the examiner's time.. :/ i bet he thought that way... ah wells least it's over..

a rather slack week, slack yet i dont seem to have the time to do all that i want.. why do hols seem to be getting shorter and shorter?!


trying to sort out the thousands of photos i have now, a really uphill task :( gah.

Thursday, March 06, 2008

i've got a nasty feeling that i wont do well for geog tmr. nothing's going in my brain, and so i doubt anything's going to come out either.

that point aside, i'm quite excited for tmr! selection camp :D but i'm so going to fail piano alr, cant cram prac on fri and sat :/ :/ :/as my mom says, i'm going to need a miracle to pass. maybe the examiner will become tone deaf after stepping off the plane (so my mom says)


i've been wondering; what makes someone reads blogs? why would anyone be interested in reading about someone else's private life (or maybe not so private life), since it doesnt really concern him/her anyway.. personal blogs arent educational or anything, yet people still read them.. so weird... not that i dont lah, but i still find it weird.. so that you understand (or appear to understand) what's going on in your friend's mind? yet again there are people who just read random stranger's blogs...



seriously, i am going to fail geog with flying colours, unless i suddenly miraculously develop a brain for geog thingies. i just cant and dont get the questions :/



Hold On - Good Charlotte
This world, this world is cold
But you don’t, you don’t have to go
You’re feeling sad you’re feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
You’re mother’s gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bare

But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go thru

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Your days you say they’re way too long
And your nights you can’t sleep at all (hold on)
And you’re not sure what you’re looking for
But you don’t want to no more
And you’re not sure what you’re waiting for but you don’t want to no more

But we all bleed the same way as you do
And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...hold on

What are you looking for?
What are you waiting for?
Do you know what you’re doing to me?
Go ahead...what are you waiting for?

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know

Don’t stop looking you’re one step closer
Don’t stop searching it’s not over...

Hold on...if you feel like letting go
Hold on...it gets better than you know...hold on

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

i feel most contented today, despite thinking that my chinese SA was a failure(: i think i went off topic, but well, i'm glad it's over(: now geog to think of D:

nonetheless, i reached home with huge to do lists. eng fa, philo FA:D, math assignment, practice piano. and i managed to finish them!(: yay, i feel a sense of accomplishment. even if my philo argument map looks really weak :/ (this is the difference between a tessa and a jocelyne!)

not to say that i always go for quantity over quality.

anyway, i just realised today how much research needs to be put into FAs... for bio, eng, philo fa, i've been doing lots of research (okay it's an exaggeration, not a lot, but still).. and to think i actually learn more from online resources than the actual teachers, really, like what mr tee said, what are teachers there for? i can get more data (probably more accurate, like updated), more info, more of everything from the net.

i suppose teachers are there to built relationship with, even if it's one that you dont like...

cant wait for this time next week, when piano grade 8 is over, and i'm in sedili(:


The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but
shorter tempers, wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but
have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller
families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less
sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too
little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too
much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a
living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've
been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street
to meet a new neighbour. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've
done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but
polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write
more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to
rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to
produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less.

These are the times of fast foods, and slow digestion, big men and small
character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of
two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are
days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night
stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to
quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and
nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to
you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just
hit delete.

Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going
to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to
you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your
side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is
the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.

Remember, to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones, but
most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from
deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for
someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to
speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

mr azahar showed us a video today about Dr. Randy Pausch, a university professor who's dying of pancreatic cancer. he gave this famous "The Last Lecture", which was really inspirational and insightful. i suggest you go watch it (on youtube) it's only 10 mins of your precious time!



to experience what you get, even if you dont get what you want.

Monday, March 03, 2008


probably cant see that anyway. sheesh :( a lot of assignments, homework, school work etc. i'll be glad when this week's over. cant wait for grade 8 to be over :/ what's the point of taking it when i know i'm going to fail anyway? seriously.

doesnt help that people dont cooperate. i really think i have a screwed personality. appearance is not reality, perception is not knowledge.


Move Along - All American Rejects
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me,when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)

(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

reminds me of the days gone by. of the people gone past. of how much has changed since.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

havent blogged for a long time... sorta becomes a habit. if i post everyday, i will. once i stop, i stop.

anyway, on thu night, mugged like crap for ss and chem spa. they both went fine. i dont want to know whether i did it right or not (ss) cos then they wouldnt have gone fine. and i thought that chem spa went okay (cos i managed to finish it) only when i came out, i found out that i got the cation wrong. sigh.

anyway, had a very fun assembly sitting with reshmi in the gallery(: talked about a lot of random stuff :D


was most miserable on sat. went to school for one miserable hour, waited for another miserable half an hour before the announcement was out that house comm meeting was cancelled (cos of the JI guy i suspect). so i went home in the miserable rain, got thoroughly drench by the time i boarded 190, froze on the bus. by the time i alighted (i missed my bus stop by one stop), my uniform was already dry. but got drenched again as i walked back home. of all the days not to bring my umbrella, it had to be a rainy one.
ate lunch and read newspapers, showered a nice hot shower then went to sleep. for a few hours...

anyway, had a very slack day. or maybe it was friday. i get my days mixed up D: super short term memory. but yeah, there was one day when i watched a lot of tv! :D



rushing math pt now T.T i'll admit, i forgot about the whole thing till today D: yeah. i'm probably going to zonk out during all the lessons tmr. talk about probability.... P(jocelyne sleeping in all lessons) = 0.99999999999999 (recurring number)