In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Friday, October 31, 2008

finally, the end of the week. the end of a very flustered week, rushing out IRS stuff (which apparently we were supposed to complete last week) ah wells, it's more or less done(: but didnt manage to spend much time with the class, only like, during class party today :(

it is our last week, of our last term, of our last year in rgs. but like most people (i think) i dont feel any different. with impending O levels, lead camp, fam, icyl and osl, it's all the way till mid-dec before i really feel like i've left school, i think.

farewell and graduation ceremony today. didnt feel sad, it was a pretty high atmosphere. quite a few people cried though. i wouldnt cry cos i'm gonna miss rgs (as in the physical place), but perhaps more cos i'd miss the people. felt a twinge of sadness maybe, when i saw the lower sec girls prep-ing for drama nite, but well, accept it and just move on.


the four years seem to have passed so fast, especially this last one, that i find it so surreal, like, are you sure that four years have already passed, or is this just a dream?

i think i've grown and matured much in the four years, learnt a lot, made great friends, been though a great deal. learnt and received a lot, maybe given back just as much, and hopefully left behind some kind of legacy for juniors. but what's killing me so much about going to rj is more that i would see less of many friends, good friends that i've made in the past two years, whom i've had so much in common and can actually connect with (probably just means they're extremely patient/tolerant, cos i'm not that good a friend, i think)


really, jc's gonna be so different, and as much as we say now that we wont change (that much), we will study hard, we will not wear our skirts too short, not get boyfriends etc, how are we to know that in the future, just a mere 3 months down the road, nothing will change? circumstances change, attitudes and thinkings change, people change, and over time, you just find that wow, she's so different from when we were in sec sch.




all i hope is that in the next two years, we'll still be able to go out once in a while, still be able to talk to each other about almost anything and everything, still be good friends and be in contact, and still be more or less the same.



and for now, whatever will be, will be.








farewell letters are (over)due. so much to say, only no time to think.




climb on tmr. feeling pretty excited over it(: training for one month and a half, well i definitely expect something out of it. 8am-5pm at Pasir Ris Park, it's a whole day there. better be worth not studying for Os.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

while the rest of the level were off at republic poly for some rgs quest, we sat through 8 hours of rs. from 8am all through to 5pm, with just an hour of lunch break. pretty amazing, i think. spent close to 20 hours on it already i think.



it's like a final sprint now. rushing through things, but at the same time, i dont want it to end. not too soon.




chinese, chinese, chinese. 头昏脑胀:to feel dizzy and have a headache; to feel one's head swimming (havent gone swimming in such a long time! :( )



i want to get a part time job, but i dont have time :( does that make sense?

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

really mentally physically exhausted already.

after osl, went to carrefour, but seriously, they're such horrible liason personnel. dont ever think to mass order from them, cos in the first place, they dont get back to you.

climbing training, 15 laps up and down was just D: but not that bad. and then, rushed back home with sihui siling for rs T.T

grilled our brains from 7-11 pm, seriously. thinking and re-thinking our data interpretation and stuff, cos there are just so many grey areas/loop holes/ no logic/ groundless assumptions, well you get the idea. and so, tmr we get to miss our LAST class outing, for seagrass(:

:/ was quite looking forward to the last class outing, i mean even if the activity isnt fun, the people will make it be(: but :( rs is more impt, and well i always feel smarter after rs, cos there are so many things to learn. and it's good to feel smart, cos one day, i may actually be able to delude myself into thinking that i am actually smart! when the truth is plainly otherwise. ah wells.


so it's a full day of seagrass tmr D: i really hope we get at least a silver for all the effort we put in (though it is a bit 临时抱佛脚) but even if we dont, i wouldnt mind cos by sending us for this, we force ourselves to read more articles after articles and digest everything until we actually have solid results and conclusions(:




darned chinese. everyone else is really studying quite hard for it. D: scary. 我很担心也很害怕O水准考试! (dont even know if i got O levels written correctly in chinese :/)

Monday, October 27, 2008

cycling trek today at ubin was quite fun(: ultimate frisbee turned out to be ultimate disaster, but well at least it was fun(: picnic lunch was quite good, and well overall it was just a pretty nice day :D thank God the sky was nice and clear and only started raining after we got back home.




i really should start spending my free time studying, shouldnt i.


countdown: 7 days. jiayou people(:



random photo post






as everything winds down to a close, slowly, one by one handing over everything to the next batch, what are we left with then? nothing but memories, hopefully lasting memories, memories that wont be drowned by new things that happen in the future.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

pss ytd was pretty cool(: 90 plus participants from 18/19 different schools! and although it was just a one-day event, i think i learnt quite a bit, though i'm just a facilitator.
i remember being a participant in psc last year, had lots of fun. and now, i'm a facilitator, one year just passes so quickly. didnt get to facilitate much, cos left to celebrate my mom's birthday lunch, so missed the facilitation part, but still i hope they learnt from the various talks. about how to peer support, how to mentor (which i still think i need much improvement on, esp facilitating)

and so that's probably the last event in my two years in psb :( but well, i hope the next batch of spsls/psls/jpsls will (a bit cliche) bring psb to greater heights and learn much from their journey(:



and for the first time ever, i lost my pencilcase! no idea where it is, came home for a few hours, suddenly realised it's not in my bag >:(



did up irc powerpoint just now with sihui, siling. whoa, the amount of articles/reports we read just for lit review for our project, i think it's pretty amazing! i do hope we manage to get at least a silver (cos everyone who goes for it will get a bronze) :/ cos seagrasses are cool(:


cycling with odac (to be more accurate, it would be my batch + half of sec3s and 1 s2) tmr, i hope it goes well. it's quite discouraging, honestly. i mean first, you're supposed to go mt fansipan, vietnam. then fine, change happens, you set your sights lower, hope that more people can go, and decide on cameron highlands, malaysia. but nope, things dont always go your way, so you decide, fine, how bout overnight cycling, that's a pretty neat idea, people would like to go and it's in singapore. but well, given the limited manpower and other factors, it's not possible, so perhaps just a simple one-day cycling trek, more people should be able to go cos well you dont have to go overseas (okay you do, cross from mainland to pulau ubin) and it's just a one-day thing. and at first, hey it seems quite okay, i mean quite a lot of people are going (almost twice the amount of people in a usual odac session) but no, you just cant have it nice and good, parents are worried about safety. and yeah, i know, i should just be satisfied and happy that people are actually going, and anyway, it doesnt really matter, the numbers, as long as you have fun. but seriously, i start to wonder, is it just me, or what.




and the whole past week, i was just exhausted. falling asleep anywhere, anytime, just thankful there's no more lessons. i think i need a bit more sun and games, i want inter-class rugby or sth!


and it's just 9 days to Os. i have serious counting problems, i thought i had just 8 papers left to do! but >:( actually i have like 12. darned. seriously seriously need to get started on chinese.


变幻莫测,每况愈下。但世上无难事,只怕有心人。 hope i actually make sense.

Friday, October 24, 2008

inter-class karoke today was just plain hilarious, we just went up there and did everything so randomly. most that we rehearsed just flew out of our minds, we just went there to have fun(:



extremely sleepy this few days, no idea why. pss tmr, plus it's my mom's birthday.




really 思潮起伏 now ( i dont care if i used it wrongly), too much on my mind. odac, osl, rs, pss, lead camp, fam, icyl plus CHINESE.

darned, not studying enough. really need to put aside time specifically for chinese, instead of always saying i'll study a bit at night (cos i never do)



it's just a few days left to being a rgs girl, and not an ri girl, but still i cant enjoy it properly. so many things to do, i'm just rushing things after things, not taking time to enjoy the little bit of time i have left here. and the time that i do have, i spend it thinking about how i'm going to leave rg/other stuff not done, that i cant enjoy the time left with my classmates as well. which is extremely saddening, cos i'm gonna miss them next year. i'm really not looking forward much to going rijc next year.





Voices That Care - Voices That Care
Lonely fear lights up the sky
Cant help but wonder why
You're so far away

There, you have to take a stand

In someone elses land
Life can be so strange

I wish we never had to choose
To either win or lose,
That we could find a way

But I wont turn my back again,
Your honor I'll defend
So hurry home,
Till then

Stand tall
Stand proud
Voices that care are crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

Im not here to justify the cause
Or to count up all the loss
Thats all been done before

I just cant let you feel alone
When theres so much love at home
We're sending out to you

And the courage that youve known
The bravery that youve shown
Clearly lights the way

We pray to make the future bright
To make the wrong things right

(rap):

Right or wrong, we're all praying youll remain strong
That's why we're all here and singing along

Stand tall
Stand proud
Voices that care are crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in our heart how our love burns bright

You are the voice,
You are the light

Stand tall
Stand proud
Voices that care are crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

Stand tall
Stand proud
Voices that care are crying out loud
And when you close your eyes tonight
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright

You are the voice and the guiding light
Feel in your heart how our love burns bright


for the last event in my term (actually it's not even in my term) in psb. for all that psb taught me and gave me.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

nothing is ever going to go right. no matter how much effort you put in, at the very last minute, things will always happen to screw it up. is it just me, or what.


matriculation talk today at rjc was a total waste of time. sitting in the canteen eating breakfast later, watching the rj people walk around doing their things, i suddenly felt like i never want to go there again. sitting there in the canteen, i felt so unsettled and 浑身不自在 and i really dont want to go rjc.


dont think i'm ever going to start studying chinese. darned.


Wednesday, October 22, 2008

finally got to eat my Belgium waffles today! a bit crazy, but went all the way to Beach Road hawker centre (it's actually called Golden Mile Food Centre) to Parad' Ice which sells waffles with chocolate dip(: yays.


spent much of my afternoon and night for practicing fam item. it's kinda annoying, cos i mean, so much effort and time put into it, but in the end, honestly, no one's really going to care. better concentrate more on Os.

Monday, October 20, 2008

was just searching through my photobucket account to find a photo, when i saw this.

which reminded me of the period of time before EYAs (which seem ages and ages ago) when i went slightly crazy. probably the pressure of exams. i mean seriously, research on brainlessness? which i was supposed to continue after eyas, but well.. ahh, well it was fun while it lasted. maybe i'll get brainless again sometime, but meanwhile...



surprisingly didnt fall asleep at all today, despite sleeping late last night.. kept awake on andrenaline perhaps, cos there seemed so many things to do.



looking back on it, it seems so dumb, so laughable. i've got such a bad feeling about it, i wont be surprised if they take just one look at it and throw it in the trash..




ahh, just 9 more days before graduation. though will still be in school till much much later.


成语 of the day: 临渴掘井 - to only dig the well when you're very thirsty. we should 未雨绸缪 and 防患未然 (prepare for the worst)


15 days more to O levels.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

i do think people should be more proactive and passionate about what they do. i mean, seriously, if you've got all that you need to know on hand, why do you have to get someone to spoon feed you.

bio scrap book due tmr :/ havent even started, i'm doomed.


anyway, visited ms lim today, her son Nathan's really cute! even though he doesnt like me >:( always turns away when i look at him :'( ah wells(: when he comes back from Australia, he'll have an Aussie accent! so cute(:





stop brooding on the past, look forward to the future. i swear i'll study hard in jc next year. and not fall asleep in lectures, though that'll be hard to achieve..

Saturday, October 18, 2008

after math ytd, rushed off to climb. felt good(: i miss top-rope, but darned, the walls and ropes are really smelly. i hope rj builds their wall fast. then rushed back for psbnite08!

psb nite 08 was fun(: the dinner was really good, and i'm really really going to miss psb next year. the people, the things we do, the things you learn, everything about psb. which i think shaped a large part of me as well :( and our term ended, just like that. cant wear the badge anymore (it's technically a collar pin) but well, it was symbolic. hope psb continues to thrive, survive, and do better(:



chinese mock exam today was a horror, my essay biao da is completely gone, i was feeling pretty sleepy and yeah. paper two was even worse, i'm amazed that i actually managed to answer most of the questions, cos i was feeling very very sleepy. sheesh well, it's over.


missed most of lead camp dry run to go... chek jawa!(:

yay it was really fun! didnt have a camera >:( but well, shall kope from people after.
saw brittle star, horseshoe crabs, sand star, various worms, peacock anemone etc etc. photos are more interesting.

obv was the youngest there, but i was getting pretty tired of explaining how i got to know team seagrass. and honestly, they think youth = ignorant. or sth along those lines...but well it was a really good (and new) experience, going out with a bunch of people who were all older than me and pretty scary at times.

darned, think i'll be in cambodia for next session at semakau though :( ah wells(:


revelation of the day: I'm not funny, but the computer is. (pretty sad, dont you think?)



You and Me - Lifehouse
What day is it? And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive
I can't keep up and I can't back down
I've been losing so much time

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right
I'm tripping on words
You've got my head spinning
I don't know where to go from here

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you now
I can't quite figure out
Everything she does is beautiful
Everything she does is right

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you
and me and all other people with nothing to do
Nothing to prove
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive



darned, lots of stuff due mon.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

didnt fall asleep in any lessons today! taken to sleeping right before options, so i wont fall asleep during.



everything in life, you have to give and take. you cant have everything. today was the last of bio options, left early cos i needed to get down to lab park. but though bio options (which incorporates math and philo) was fairly cheem at times and even downright boring, i still think it's quite interesting and gives much food for thought. and i'd really like to take time to think about some issues more, discuss and learn more about it, but well, right now is not the time. then when is it?



feeling a bit frazzled right now, it's a long and packed weekend ahead. but everytime i think that, stuff ends up being cancelled. psb nite tmr, chi mock exam, chek jawa monitoring on sat, dairy farm climbing or visiting ms lim on sun. but even after you put in the big stones in a jar, you fill it up with little pebbles. so you get a very full and compact jar afterwards.




it's like you've got this pile of clothes sitting there, which you have to fold. but on top of that, you've got little kids running and screaming, jumping around and waiting to be placated. dismal grades being constantly on my mind, though i know i can do nothing about it. but still, you have to evaluate and find out what went wrong. and chinese. oh goodness, O levels are disgusting. and we're only taking ONE subject.




bleargh, sometimes i wish i could fall sick easily. and just not go to school for one day, sit at home and do things i want.



and reading chinese chengyu books arent working. i've been reading them before i sleep every night, and i always find nice chengyus that well, pretty much describe how i feel sometimes, but everytime, the next morning, i forget what it means. darned.


if you know what they mean, pray please tell me. to save me the trouble of having to check again.
过眼云烟
萎靡不振
心灰意懒
人地生疏
人生如寄

i would ask google translator for help, but it's not that smart yet.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

exhausted; got a thousand and one things on my mind.

but at least finally, finally something is starting to get going.


perhaps not much to do, but well still have to think about it. osl stuffs, odac stuffs, pss (peer support sharing! 25 oct), lead camp, icyl, and the most annoying of all, fam.



chinese, chinese and more chinese. horrible grades to contend with. think i'm gonna cut down on activities next year, but how much more i can cut i dont know, cos there are some stuff that's def gonna stay.



on a brighter note, climbing improved(: at the expense of my hands, sadly. well if something comes out of it, it'll be pretty much worth it.





成语 of the day: 沽名钓誉 - to do something merely for the good reputation/name (something which we shouldn't do. shouldnt do SL/join council just cos it looks good on your portfolio, that's just so shallow and well it reflects pretty badly on your morals.)


countdown to Os: 21 days
countdown to OSL: 46 days

Monday, October 13, 2008

went to carrefour after options today to get, not 1, not 2, but 10 freaking boxes of muesli bars. the cashier must have thought soff and i were going for some camp or that we're just freaks. but they're really nice(: considering it's $1.80 for a box of 6.

and amazingly, for the first time, i managed to fall asleep while standing up on the train! without like, falling over or doing sth equally embarrassing.



and seriously, i never knew woodlands was so darned near to m'sia! soff actually WENT to johor, after buying bars at carrefour, just to eat SUSHI. apparently it takes less time for her family to get to johor than it does to go to pasir ris...






my grades are seriously the disappointment of my life. it is freaking the worst grades i've gotten in my entire 4 years. i think if you look up 一落千丈 (to suffer a disastrous decline; to decline drastically) in the 成语 dictionary, you'll find me and my grades there.

and there's that extremely high possibility, that for the first time in 10 years, my chinese might actually score better than my english. and it's not because my chinese suddenly 突飞猛进 (to advance (or develop) by leaps and bounds; to progress rapidly) , but more because my english really :(



'tis a depressing subject. and i propose that from henceforth, the name given to that dreaded report we get back at the end of each academic year be changed to "regress report". or okay, maybe to give credit to those who actually did manage to progress, it should just be "__________ report", and the teacher will fill in the blank accordingly.




countdown to Os: 22 days (as the HMT dept kindly reminded us today)
countdown to OSL: 47 days







成语 of the day: 思潮起伏 - to have many things on your mind; new thoughts keep coming in.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

number of days left to chinese O levels: 24
number of chinese papers left to do: 18

freaakkk. i'm starting to feel really stressed over chinese. really really dont think i can get my A, which means i will need to take it again next year. cos i want an A.


options ending this week, which means essay, scrap book, show and tell, film due. :/ amongst other things.



some net carn photos! i really think i didnt cam-whore enough (imagine if i had my own camera...) but nevermind, we'll go out another time in our pretty class shirts and tie two tails :P


sophia sim, me and roy(: and you can see the back of soff's shirt.nair taking the photo, roy, soff, liangzi, me, sophia, tess.
back of tess's and my shirt, and i like the look on nair's face xDour first match of the day! me, fanny, nair, shaina, tess, kim, sophia, eunice(: against 408 btw.watching a game:D a bit blur :/ me, roy, liangsi, yin yun.
class photo! though not entire class..class photo!:D :D :Dclass lunch at marina square food court. tess, me, shaina, soff(:




more photos when i get them! ahh i miss net carn :( i'll miss netball, inter class competitions, and most of all, 407<3






loaded day tmr.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

last net carn/inter-class competition today.

and i must say, 407 ROCKS MY WORLD(: we got joint second with 406 (who got training by a pe teacher), and well, no surprises over who got first, 403 (who got training by a pe teacher too). so i'm very proud to say, 407 WAS TRAINED BY OUR ONE AND ONLY SHAINA NEO! and various other people(: we rock, seriously.

no one expected it. we certainly didnt aim for top 3, we just wanted to have fun(: and lots of fun we did have(: along with lots of shouting. and a bruise on my cheek for me :(

showered in school after that, and as usual, i'm counting down the number of 'lasts' in rg. so that might possibly be the last time i'm showering in rg. i'm really really really going to miss rg and my class :( things are going to be so darned different in rj.



after class lunch at marina square, chiong-ed back to taka for Amore Women's Day. 5 hours there is no joke, staring up at the abseil platform waiting for them to be ready (and seeing them freaked out over coming down) gave me a neck ache. and i was really sleepy after net carn, and that didnt really help. but well, had fun towards the end(: having only 4 handholds to get up a 5-metre wall is lots of fun to try(: though juan, being the *ahem* shorty *ahem* that she is, had 5 handholds.


jo ho and pauline came down to try, and a couple of people visited(: andrea (tan) came along after that and stayed for quite a bit. towards the end, chermaine and serene arrived, had dinner with them.


and the only thing i can say is, they've changed quite a bit. or actually maybe not. perhaps just my perception of them.



which makes me all the more not want to go rj. (not that i'd rather go somewhere else, i just dont want to leave rg)


was really tired on the way home, nearly walked out at bedok instead of tanah merah. and got annoyed when my dad just drove past me (when i was walking from mrt home) without stopping to pick me up >:(



and osl's drinks sold really well(: so much more preparations to do, we're running behind time!






on hindsight, i think i'm not very outspoken. in fact, according to people, i'm quite dao. that is, until you know me better.

Friday, October 10, 2008

last net carn tmr. but it's more than just net carn; it's our last inter-class competition ever. and i think we've trained harder this year than last, though well, we're not aiming to win. just aim to have fun(: not think about getting back chinese on monday, not think about chi mock next sat, not think about all the stupid grades.

osl fr with polaroid photos and bubble tea too, the polaroid being a first. hope it goes well (:

and a job for the afternoon. hope it'll be fun too(:


Move Along - The All-American Rejects
Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sins
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along






things never go the way you want them to. things that you don't like happen. just live with it and move along.
got back english today. it is the horror of my life. imagine: vocab word: ERASE - obliviate.

wthh it's not even a freaking english word. i'm swearing off harry potter books from henceforth. examiners must have thought i was some retard.




yeah, so this whole week was just filled with disappointments after disappointments. and i'm not even comparing with other people, i'm just comparing with myself. and my expectations are not that high.

i just dont understand why. but i guess it reflects something. that i have to focus more on acads. though how much more i can give, i dont know.




well all i can say is, sitting for the darned exams are easier than getting them back.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

the philo part of bio options today were so hair-pulling. thank goodness mr c ow knows to placate us with food!(: it was really really draining though, and hmm i think i fell asleep at the end... and he ended late too :(

climbing was pretty slack, actually i think. grah, need to make more time so i can climb more >:( but event no. 1 was -> walking in to climb without even paying, cos i thought juan and sihui helped me pay alr. so yeah, it was only when we were about to leave when sihui told me -.-
and event no. 2 was -> going to the mrt station counter, giving the guy there my climb asia membership card and $6 and telling him i want to top up $5. then i stood there waiting. then the guy returned the card to me and i realised it was the wrong card. so malu! D: never want to go there again :(




reaallly need to start on chinese :/ i think chinese group study would be a good idea, anyone up for it?




many things to do, just dont seem to be doing them :/

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

subjects whose exams require writing on foolscap paper just arent my thing. maybe i should declare myself allergic to foolscap paper or sth.


but thank goodness, we can re-choose our subjects in jc. i will just D.I.E. if i had to take geog/physics/ss for O levels.





good luck for exams, be it start, end or major. though honestly, i think getting back the papers are more horrifying than taking the exam itself. though of course you cant do anything after you get it back.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

today's a bad day. i wish they could have spread out the giving back of science papers, cos well those are my best few subjects. really not looking forward to getting back ss tmr, or eng on fri.


and i've got a totally unwanted letter sitting on my desk. just 5 miserable more marks. i dont understand how people can even get through to diploma, cos i'm barely even making grade 8. but then again, i shouldnt be comparing against others, cos i probably didnt put in as much effort. and like soff says, i'm meant for bigger things than piano, haha. but still, 3 years is a damn long time.




math's tmr. rather unprepared. but i'll be happy once it's over. last school exam in rgs :/ should put in more effort, shouldnt i.

Sunday, October 05, 2008

life is always about chasing wants, chasing what we dont have. but do we treasure what we currently have?




and now, more than ever, i'm appreciating what i have. maybe i take less for granted than others, cos really, it must have been a lucky chance (God's will) that i made it to rgs, cos i never, ever expected to get in there. and the four years have been great, perhaps not all, but mostly wonderful. and imagine, just cos of our psle score, we dont have to take o levels. which is starting in two weeks' time :/


in less than a month, we'll no longer be officially recognised as rgs girls, rafflesians at heart though we may all be, for the rest of our lives. from the most practical like no longer being able to access inet, having to get a visitors' pass to come in, to the more intangible, like no longer walking that stretch from Athena gate to D/E block in the mornings, no more meetings in the pavilion. there are a zillion things that i'd miss once i leave rgs, things that would make up one of the greatest experience of my life.





成语 of the day: 防患未然 - take precautions against calamity




Seasons are changing/ And waves are crashing/ And stars are falling all for us.

Saturday, October 04, 2008

climbing today was a pain. i think it's a bit psychological, but my toe hurt when i put weight on it or like move it around, so matching was pretty non-existent. and mr chew focused more on arm training, sth which juan beats me (and sihui) hands down. that girl is a bit freaky, look at her small small, but she's damn effing strong! freeaakkkyy. but i think i've improved slightly(:
but there's a price to pay (not just in monetary terms, speaking of which i'm getting broke) my fingers are blistering horribly! not just calluses, they're still okay, but my skin peeled off :( hurts, esp. with alcohol swab! and my hands now look like ... i have no idea how to describe them. gah :(

the wound (not exactly that serious..) stings, and bathing's a torture. sheeessshh.



getting really unproductive, math test is soon! D: and chinese o levels arent that far away either.



成语 of the day: 勾心斗角 - plot against each other (according to google translator xD)






And i can't stand the pain/ And i can't make it go away

Friday, October 03, 2008

:/ whacked my toe against a chair, and it's bleeding now.. wonder if i still can climb properly tmr :(

and i cant wait for math, then chinese to be over. my entire life is like tuition after tuition, and they're like the only two subjects i have tuition for.


tons of math and chinese and options hw to do, but somehow i just choose to do others. i guess like what mr azahar said during sln gm today, it's the difference between what's urgent but not important, and what's not urgent but important (to me).


and congress is starting to focus on people who have many commitments. problem, yes, no? guess if you over-commit yourself, resulting in not putting in your best for all your commitments, and denying others the chance of serving the commitment to their fullest, yeah it's a problem. but if you're saying that all the commitments go to just a select few, resulting in the rest not having much (like they applied but didnt get it), then i dont know, not exactly the select few's fault right, they must have been competent and capable right? i suppose it is a bit unfair, but then again, since when's life fair?


life is never going to be fair, just take what you've got, and be thankful about it.








time is running out as we count down the days. begin to realise the impact of it. getting over-reliant :/

Thursday, October 02, 2008

it just struck me, that life and the world is complex. relationships are amazingly and astoundingly complex. the way life works, the interconnectedness of everyone is immensely complex. life is complex. it's not as simple as just living life the way you want it. it's not as simple as just doing what you want.

there are countless factors. it's really amazing.


humans are amazing, God's creation.

i may be sitting here, staring at the screen, appearing to do nothing and just stoning. but thoughts of my bio journal, bio portfolio, sl portfolio, various people, math, chinese, and various things are just cramming and jamming up my mind.


our lives seem simple enough. just exams, friends, family, school work. dont fancy being an adult.







confused, worried, frustrated, annoyed.







do tell me, why do you bother coming here?

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

didnt get to go dairy farm climbing in the end, cos apparently it's too cloudy (meaning looks like it's gonna rain) though it didnt :( ah wells, another day then.

walked from Alexendra road, the start of some tree top walk, all the way to Mt Faber, and from there walked to vivocity. with my parents and jon jon. pretty nice walk, if i stayed in the vicinity i'll get someone to run the route with me everyday(:




and i just realised how old i'll be next year, when ppl ask me what school i'm from and i'll say rjc :( jc life seems so forbidding and stressful and not as enjoyable as rg.. and everytime, i just keep thinking of the things i'll miss in rg.

like playing netball with odac. i wanna play netball with odac one last time, before i leave.





life isnt always fair, and life doesnt always make sense.