In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

late night = blog surfing.

and i realise, i like blogs that are thought-provoking/inspiring. day-to-day updates are fine, get to know more about what your friends are doing. but well, it's the thought-provoking posts that draw me, that start me thinking and pondering.


and if you say a blog reflects a person's personality...



i realise how friendships are formed. and i realise what i'm lacking now.
you share the same/similar thoughts (even if they're contradictory), you can talk about anything from crap to serious stuff, you can do anything, even nothing, yet not feel like you're lacking. you dont just talk about how's life and what are you doing and all that small talk. you talk about what you're really feeling.


you know how sometimes you just feel like you're not on the same wavelength, no matter how hard you try. there's just this very awkward feeling.



friendships form when there's a sharing of experiences and feelings. or perhaps, just a certain bond that makes everything different and special.




how hard it is to find people on the same wavelength, who truly understand.
jocelyne would now like to make the clarification that although she may SEEM like a mugger, she is NOT one. her life does not revolve around studying, neither is she free every single day.

okay fine, so i'm in two club ccas (which you dont think very highly of). and fine, my ccas are only once a week x 2 = twice a week. that does NOT mean that i have nothing else to do, and it does NOT mean that my schedule has to suit yours. and after all that we said last year, it's hard to say that i'm not disappointed. and i'm sorry, it's partly my fault, but really.






i dont know. everything (or almost everything) seems to have changed. it's like once you're in jc, all that you said before no longer holds true. in jc, everything's different.
you have to put in extra effort to keep something constant. but deep down inside, you know that no matter what you do, after a while, you wont be able to keep it up. it's just the beginning of the year (and i'm already pretty tired) and when pw and everything starts happening, it's just gonna make things more difficult.

or is it just me? somehow, everyone else seems to be enjoying jc, having fun, preferring it to sec sch. but i really really miss s4. though i guess i really shouldnt let the past hold me up.







i miss all the emo talks. i miss just hanging around doing nothing, enjoying the company/the scenary without feeling guilty over one thing or another, or feeling like a complete idiot. i miss being able to see the people i want to see whenever i want to see them. i miss having a homeroom. i miss my class. i miss everything.


but well, life goes on and i have to move on. no one's gonna wait, and soon i'll find myself left behind in the dust.







and you better take care of yourself.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

after a whole week (actually it's like months or sth) of agonizing, thinking, considering, stressing over this, i've decided.

i will not self nominate for council. but if you want to peer nominate me, haha feel free to :P though i doubt anyone will see this early enough for tmr's (or actually today's) peer nominations. HH03, 10so3E!



for reasons i will not elaborate here. but i've been agonizing over it for so long, changing my mind every few days, every few hours, feeling torn over whether to commit or not.

stressed over it, cos it's not so simple as just wanting to go for council or not, a lot of other factors come into play.



and now, i shall be glad that i've come to a decision. in retrospect, there are more people who did NOT sign up for council, than those who did.



so, that's what we as Christians should do: choose insignificance over recognition, whenever such recognition would lead us away from actively loving God in our daily lives.




bio soc + photog + op smile ftw! and other stuff as well(:

Sunday, February 22, 2009

og outing today was quite fun(: even though a sad number of people turned up :/ ah wells, played pool for the second time in two weeks! maybe i should go play pool every sunday.. class outing next week maybe? :P

anyways, after juan, it's SOFFIA'S birthday today! :D but that girl would probably be sleeping.. unless she's decided to stay awake to receive all her birthday greetings xD

so here's to the past 2 years of friendship and well, seeing her almost everyday! (btw i got lots of photos of her, so well.)

so here's SOFFIA GHAZALI! :D
doesnt she look geeky here xD
the first of many pictures of her eating xD
(: class outing to uh somewhere. in sec 3.
geog field trip to malacca 07 :P
taken in Sydney Hotel, Cambodia's toilet :P
:P
pretty blur photo..
another class outing to.. tiger breweries (this is the start of s4)
random shot at the airport while picking vietnam mentors up (:
and this girl loves her food
see, still eating!
(:
net carn 08! :D
trying to look like... park rangers? :P
acting spas as usual
and still eating her ice cream, albeit a different brand.

video
please watch her and her stupid green salt (while doing chem pt) xD

i think apcg08 was the time we cam-whored the most. at least my photographic records showed as much.
acting dao (somehow i always have to do this)
and stupid.
please ignore the bunny ears (probably given to us by biquan -.-)
and as usual, still eating (though and apple this time :D)
posing with her apple...
uh.. BiQideas! :D
(:



that seems to be about it. well i had a fantastic two years with you(: and well, take care in rj! love ya(:







thank goodness for protected time tmr.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

rafflesians (or at least most) study while travelling cos they have to; prob too busy doing other stuff (like cca) to sit down and study properly, but must still get good grades.



in any case, i think if i were to study after sch in the library everyday for the next two years, i'm going to be immensely bored and irritated with my life. so council? or not..



anyway, it's TAN JUANMIN'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! and ke xin's and tze qing's too :D

so here's to 4 coming to 5 years of friendship, of camps and emo talks, of sweat and bruises and cuts and what-not we get from odac. and everything else, cos you've been awesome (:



Introducing... Tan Juanmin (btw, i hope you dont mind :D)
pretty blur picture of her passport photo.. cute right!(:
always ready for a photo..kay maybe not always. heh :P
the dancerthe fire-breather
the gambler (while waiting for seats at this satay steamboat place in malacca) look at the amount of food she eats (heh shared with andrea lim)
sorry blur picture
kay we look a bit spas in the pictureand we look positively terrible in this (after practicing fire-breathing)
we may look dao (actually only i do..)and secretly geeky (okay also maybe only me)random picture that she insisted on takingbut wells love you all the same! :D


okay wells, seems like she's not my cam-whore buddy. (very few pics with her as compared to with soff) but anyways, take care and have a great birthday! :D and dont mind the unglam pics. xD

Thursday, February 19, 2009

a lot of decisions to make when you're in jc. at least for the first two months. and after that, you just live with whatever decisions you made. for the next two years.




keep changing my mind over certain matters. but well, decided not to go for isle. and now, it's council or not?



and i really wonder, whether a few months down the road, will i regret whatever decision i made? :/ cos i'll have to live with that regret.






HH isnt doing very well at ihcs. :/ just lost congkak today.


went for Operation Smile talk today! it's really exciting. but wells, lots of work due tmr, shall elaborate more another day.


remind me that life is not all about being able to do all the tutorial questions, nor is it about having the most friends. it's what you get out of life, the lessons learnt and having something worth leaving behind that matters more.



and it's really heart-warming to know that despite the global recession and everyone just being so caught up in monetary matters and not having enough money to buy the stuff they want/need, there are still people out there who do things like Operation Smile, and who truly care about making a difference in others' lives.

Monday, February 16, 2009

couldnt sleep last night cos of coke+espresso mixture :/ (lucky i left before they added chilli sauce/curry sauce/mayonaise)

and i realised, i've become more passive instead of active. letting others take the lead and just following. and really, not saying much.

and i realised, that i "open up" more, or at least talk more to people whom i know i'll only see for a short period (eg 5 days) and after that, prob not gonna meet them again. like during icyl, apcg, pss etc. (though it'd be nice if we could keep up the relationship) but yeah, somehow, when it comes to long term (like 2 years in the same class), i get more reserved.



played zong ji mi ma (the numbers game where you're supposed to guess a number by cutting the possibilities) with og during protected time. haha forfeit was a mixture of predominantly ice lemon tea with soya milk and a dash of milo and some chocolate cake :P and though ppl who drank it said it wasnt that bad, i'm thankful i didnt have to drink it at all xD





out of all the lessons today, the most interesting/exciting/fun one was definitely chinese (in my opinion)




and i officially declare myself a mugger. (but then again, what else can you do apart from mug when you dont have a cca? -.- apart from bio soc, that is.)





waiting, just waiting passively.



and this is a really cool/interesting/thought-provoking video. go watch it.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

pri sch gathering today cos jonathan's leaving for australia soon. pretty weird at the start. 9 out of 41 people came, and only 2 girls (out of 21?)

and i realised some stuff. sometimes it's prob better to not be in the best class. we were from the second best class, and i reckon we had loads more fun than the best class. and i really reckon ppl who arent so focused on studying have more fun. -thinks of the past two weeks- people from the not-best classes tend to be more joker (and lighten the atmosphere)

and i realise even though girls are (generally thought of as) more emotional, our (or at least mine) friendship bonds tend to be more come and go? or i dno, after a while of not keeping in touch, sometimes you just dont know what to say. whereas guys, (i suspect) they still meet up, and when they do, there's not much awkwardness, and still lots of fooling around..





so now, it's between having fun and a good experience, or having good grades. is it possible to have both?

Friday, February 13, 2009

this week, had lots of time. to reflect, to emo, to study.

i am NOT mugger. but weirdly enough, i find myself studying. quite a lot. i would NEVER have done this last year, unless it's a few days before the exam. but then again, i never had so much free time last year.

and i think i'm going to need to continue to devote lots of time to studying (reading before lectures, writing out notes after lectures and doing tutorials) and so...




was just talking to shaina about jc life (actually been talking about it to her for the past few days. or rather, whining to her.) and i realised sth (actually she's the one who brought it up). seriously, i havent adapted well to jc life. not the lecture-tutorial style of teaching, cos i think i'm coping fine with that. but perhaps other stuff that are not so major but still fundamental. some ppl whom others would have thought would not have been able to adapt so well managed to, and others vice versa. which just goes to show, how unpredictable and full of surprises we can get.



i dno, i just really hope my next year and a half of life in rj will be much happier than my past week. and no, just cos i'm not smiling doesnt mean i'm dao/scary.



i think i have problems adapting to major changes; i'm still dreaming/living in the past, not really looking forward to the future.





you'd be surprised at the number of people who feel the same way as you do, if you'd ask around.



my emo buddy! and going-home buddy.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

2 hours on bio (carbohydrates), 2 hours on math (tutorial qns 7-13).

think studying as a cca seems pretty attractive. it's like only lectures now, and we have lots of time to read up before. and already, struggling. what will happen when tutorials are factored in too? how to cope, how to study.

study club ftw, library is my favourite hang out now.



frisbee trials were fun (:

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

first lecture was better than expected i guess, since P&C was a topic done last year (even though i missed many of those lessons). and i guess i could get used to the lecture/tutorial system..


OG (or at least a majority part of it) came together for lunch and games! haha and it was fun(: i'm glad that we made it, even though it came after the whole orientation ended.





still not used to rj (or jc for that matter) life. not been my usual self, much. but wells, i guess it's really up to me how i take things, if i take on a negative view, then it'll really be miserable. so i decided i shall just do my best, as hard as it is. and i guess things will improve.



and i decided that whatever, heck it. during my free times and after sch, i shall just go library and study. canteen's not a conducive place to study.

Sunday, February 08, 2009




somehow, i feel like something's changed. or maybe it's just my imagination, cos this is somewhat what i expected. but i really really hope not. but wells, with ppl who are not in my house, not in my cca, not in my og, not in my class, not in my anything at all, i wonder...


take5 was quite fun(: best part was the captain's ball game with MR, even though we got trashed, it's the first time in the entire week i'm really running around hard and getting really sweaty but having a lot of fun(: it was the most awesome time i had with my og. and buying the o night costumes come in second.
o nite was okay, but not what i expected. didnt get to do batch dance properly, couldnt sing the batch song properly, and we left feeling emo instead of high (which is usually the case in rg). ah wells, it's not like it's the end of everything(:


and somehow, i keep thinking of apcg. maybe cos orientation's quite a lot like it? location, activities, people involved wise.




pulau semakau yesterday was just awesome. i enjoyed it very very much, the tranquility of the place. saw an octopus! frogfish, common sea stars, noble volute, and many other cool stuff(:



and i'm trying to upload my orientation photos onto facebook. but it's taking super long. which is why i usually dont bother uploading my photos anywhere..

Thursday, February 05, 2009

am feeling so bored, i cant wait for lessons to start. seriously. maybe it's a sign that i should start studying.




take5 and o night tmr. hopefully it'll be fun(: and exciting.





When We Look Back
Wasn't it just yesterday
I couldn't find the words to say
To fill the empty silence
To break the awkward moments
A little smile and laughter shared
A friendship sparked because you cared
This path we tread won't be smooth
But together we will pull through

Pre-chorus:
Walking hand in hand, heart to heart,
joining voices to sing and dance
When I start this song, you'll sing along
and we can just go on and on and on

Chorus:
When we look back, will we remember
Each moment of this year?
The days that mark our time in here
Threaten to disappear
All that we have's the present
To cherish while we can
Seizing every chance we're blessed with
And leave with no regrets

Took a firm step in this place
Wishes, hopes, we're in a daze
The cold walls are taunting
Just where's the warmth within?
Whenever you call my name
Across the corridor
The madness of chasing dreams
Doesn't matter anymore

Pre-chorus

Chorus

Bridge:
Rough winds only bring us higher
Tough fights only make us stronger
Yet knowing we've got one another
We'll stick together more than ever
Yea...ahh

Chorus x2

All the friends we've made we won't forget
We'll leave with no regrets
These two years no regrets
These two years no regrets

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

there's hope, yet.



before we look forward to the future, we need to let go of the past. stop dwelling in the past. and so i shall "put away" and store in archives the memories that keep re-surfacing.

everytime i walk through ri, i feel so reminiscent of last year. dwen an and apcg, both.
when i walk past raja block, i remember the times we spent there learning the fun dance. i remember Biqideas hanging around there planning, thinking, having fun.
when i walk through the junior block, i'm reminded of the times in the seminar rooms, planning for the dwen an visit. reminded of the facil session held for apcg facils, of the workshops for apcg held there.
when i walk on the parade square, looking at the clock tower, memories of the campfire night on the last night of apcg come back to me.
when i sit in the canteen, i remember that time when we sat there folding stars for dwen an souvenirs. i remember the apcg meals, queueing up for the buffet lunch/tea/dinner, sitting with our groups, trying to hype them up.
when i look at the ri field, i remember biqideas sitting there once, for some reason i cant recall. i remember lou, bella and i sitting in the middle, chatting (okay this was just last week)
when i walk past the ri gate barrier, i remember that time after apcg (meeting or the actual thing, cant rmb) when we limbo-ed under the barrier and the guard scolded us :P

i just keep recalling the events of last year. the fun times. busy and a lot of work, perhaps, but really, it was lots of fun.




but i guess it's not the end. two more years, two more days. and let's make it count.