In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

chocolates are good cos they trigger the release of endorphins. and yeah, from econs, we all know that dark choc has health benefits of some sort. but anw, endorphins make you high! or usually anyway. unless you're suicidal.. or maybe anti-depressant pills are actually chocolates! D:

so the thing is, everyone should be high(: cos then they'll be happy. so perhaps, for orientation next year, they should have like, endorphins-laced water given to everyone. so all the J1s will be happy and high and bond well :D or well they could just distribute chocolate. though doing sports also results in endorphins being released, but sports arent for everyone i guess..


i've got a boxful of m&ms and skittles to bring to sch tmr :D




this weekend is gonna be full of seagrasses. and after that, class camp, and then PI due and econs lecture test again.





it's so hard to make sure it's worth it.



anw for ppl having seasons/syf (ringers tmr!!!!!) and whatever else, all the best and take care(:

(sorry the post seems so disjointed.)


Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson
Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window

Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray

Trying hard to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me

Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray
I could breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean

Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away
And breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes 'til I touch the sky
And I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway

Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance, make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

Saturday, April 25, 2009

really tired. think i improved (however marginally) my climbing, so that's good. though apparently becoming stronger = think less = getting dumber. and on a separate note, most guys are strong.
anw i really think i'm getting dumber, thrice this week alr i alighted at the wrong mrt stop. among other stupid things.


really dreading the first week of may. it's one hell of a week. actually i'm more worried about the lessons missing during class camp. and i really think i'm just stressing myself out over work, cos my parents sure arent giving me much pressure to do well for exams.





anw, i found out a deeper meaning to facebook and blogs.


blogs are more than just a way to record memories for yourself. it's a form of leaving behind a bit of your past. imagine if decades down the road, your kids/grandchildren google your name and find your blog. and read about how you were when you were young. in a sense, it's leaving your story, your legacy behind.



and talking about osl and sl in general with esther on fri, i realised sth. that somehow, we seem to have been.. brainwashed? by the system, to think of sl only in one direction, rather rigidly. that we have to do lots of prep work and all sorts of other saigang work before carrying out the actual service. maybe in the process, the focus has changed? and of course, after the service we must reflect. and see how we can improve our service/learn from it.
but what happened to doing service just for the sake of it, because you want to help others? instead of somehow or other, benefiting from it through lessons learned. you help others, because you really want to do it, and because it's the right thing, is that not right? doing all those proposals and reflections after, make it seem like some kind of academic subject that's graded in school.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

didnt have assembly/anything else after school today, so right after bio lecture, left for home. felt quite nice, being home before like, most ppl even left school.

supposed to study for math tomorrow, but being the usual unproductive self, ended up blog surfing. i realise most blogs i surf, are people who are part of the 29th student council.


anyway, it made me wonder, again. what am i doing with my life? with my two years of life in rj, to be specific. i dont know, in part i think i sort of 'wasted' my two years, by not continuing down the road that i used to trod. but instead, switched path, to something that up till now, still not really used to. but who cares anyway.



there seems to be nothing i can talk about. or perhaps it's cos i care too much about what people might think if i say certain things or another. maybe that's why some people prefer to stick to philosophical posts, instead of subjective ones.




my brother was saying, that evolution's not gonna work right with humans. because we're compassionate creatures. in the animal world, the weakest gets killed by the strongest. those that are unfit, are slowly eradicated by competition. but not for humans. we look after the weaker ones, make sure they're fine still. which seems perfectly true. charities are based on this fact, isnt it? volunteerism, service learning, community service, all based on this characteristic of humans. which, speaking biologically, means that the "lousy" genes are still carried forth to the future generations. which is not good.


and i realise, that people appear to care more for those who appear to be weaker. does that mean that those who appear to be stronger, need no comfort nor looking after? cos that's unfair. i believe every one needs to be cared for. and made to feel loved and not unwanted. because that feeling sucks, if you've felt it before, you'll know it, and you would not want others to feel the same too. if you've never felt this way, then good for you, i'm glad that you've always led such a happy and loved life.





chinese dance got gold with honours for syf :D very glad for lou, and everyone else in chinese dance (: though i feel that somehow, in the raffles environment, everyone is forced to produce results (good ones). and if you dont (or at least dont appear to), then you're well, not good. and we're not even talking about academic results, which seem to be a given.




and no, this is not an emo post. see, there is one ':D' and not a single sad face.





in this dynamic world, with ever-changing constants (as oxymoronic as it seems), it's so hard to find balance, between what you feel like doing, and what you should do. between being sane, and insane. between socialising, and being productive (in your work). between excessive, and enough. it's just so hard to balance on that fine line. i suppose it's much easier to be happy in doing what you're doing.



sat with lifang during chem lecture ytd, and talking to her was great(: miss them so much, hardly even get to see them anymore.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

I Have A Dream - ABBA
I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a fantasy
To help me through reality
And my destination makes it worth the while
Pushing through the darkness still another mile
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream

I have a dream, a song to sing
To help me cope with anything
If you see the wonder of a fairy tale
You can take the future even if you fail
I believe in angels
Something good in everything I see
I believe in angels
When I know the time is right for me
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream
Ill cross the stream - I have a dream




JC is just like, this transition period. i really feel like i'm in transit, not really belonging to rj, but just being there for the time being, until i can go out and really i dno, do the stuff i want.

tho i guess.. couple of factors contributed to this kind of feelings.
ora today was awesome(: op smile managed to earn profit yay. and i saw my juniors! after like such a long time. gahh i miss osl :(


climbing was super tiring. cant even do a 6A+ now, crap :/ but did abseiling, whee (:



i think i'm getting used to sch life, as mundane and boring as it may be. lectures after tutorials after practicals after tests. i'm glad for the stuff i do out of sch, else my life is gonna be reaaally boring and intolerable. tho i guess if not for outside sch stuff, i might have joined sth different.


k wells, take care people (: homework calls T.T havent done any. i'm so not a mugger. and dont think i'll ever be one. till As come.

Friday, April 17, 2009

super hectic week nearly over. the 3 tests today, werent that bad after all. or maybe i'm just so relieved it's over. like finally. after fretting for the whole week. bio should be able to pass and hopefully econs too. chem's screwed. 2 ans completely wrong. ah wells, it's over (:


been busy rushing out op smile ora stuff, going to buy the stuff, calling ppl up to bring logs, and stuff like. sighs, never had to do this last year, despite all the stuff that i had to do. ah wells, signs of a changing time i guess. differing circumstances, working with different ppl etc.

damn tired now, still havent showered.. :/ really hope ora goes well tmr, though i cant be there > < kay just rmb i have $10 of ora voucher, so i have to squeeze some time to go down. argh.




life now is really just looking forward to weekend after weekend. kinda boring. but wells, gotta live with it. for two years. wow whee(:

Sunday, April 12, 2009

i've been meaning to post this for ages, but well, didnt have time/couldnt be bothered. but if i delay any longer, haha it's gonna be super belated. so here goes. happy belated birthday shaina xD though your bday was in january, shall just do a birthday post for you now(:

so presenting shaina neo :D
at ms lim's house last year! ahh i wonder if she's left alr.. else we should go visit her again!
sorry have to tilt your head to see this..
and this is a bit blur.. but haha ms lim's son nathan is super cute! :D
and next up is her attempt at fire breathing before fam last year xD
haha pretty unglam xD but not as bad as me :P :) and sadly, that's all the photos i have of that girl. nvm, shall take more if i can(: take care dear!




today's Easter! :D and i got Easter eggs(: thanks, if you see this xD been eating a lot of chocolate recently, after like a looong time of not eating chocolate. chocolate's good(: they make you happy.


climbing on saturday (and i'm sad cos i've deproved a lot :( ) was quite fun. listening to them talk about stuff, it makes me feel like doing it too. like leading students up to mountains/forest trekking, climbing natural rocks. and stuff. i wanna do guiding, go rock/mountain climbing, scuba diving. i wanna know and be abnle to ID most flora/fauna, go to places like CJ and PS in my free time. and i want my job to have sth to do with these. i dont want a boring 9 to 5 job. or stuck in a lab all day examining cells or sth. so i guess, i'll just put up with these two years of jc, and try to make the best of it. starting to regret certain choices i made already, but well, nothing i can do.




and i spent half an hour just now, talking to my bro (younger). talked to him about all sorts of stuff, growing up, secondary school, our family, life and stuff. dont think he really understands now, but i hope he'll rmb the conversation and well, understand it better when he grows up. he's a smart boy really, no matter what i always say. just that he has his dumb times. but dont we all, i think i was quite dumb in pri sch too..




went with soff for soccer match support on mon. theodore and shoujian happened to go as well, as well as jian xiong and kieran, though we didnt sit with them. reminded me of apcg haha. anw, i learnt, i shall just do the best i can, and well, be thankful for what i have(:

Wiang Kaen, Chiang Rai, Thailand.


dont have events to look foward to anymore, shall just look forward to hols, and meanwhile be sustained by happy memories. have a great week ahead people!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

today was a pretty interesting (if you can call it that) day i guess.

was feeling sleepy so went to sleep before midnight. but thanks to those who msg-ed/gave cards/sang songs/wished on fb anyway (:


fire drill during econs lecture was good.



but somehow, i think birthdays are somehow superficial/commercialised/politicised? that you lose the true meaning of it. ppl whom you hardly speak to wish you happy birthday (not that i'm complaining, at least somehow or another they rmb. prob through fb. or maybe.. )








certain regrets flickering through my mind once in a while, but hopefully will get over it.


it's Good Friday tomorrow. maybe wont come online. quite amusing that most ppl are taking the long weekend to mug. i guess that's what jc does to you. and somehow, i cant wait for this two years to end. just so i wont see binom/poisson/normal again, or any of the other crap that we're learning now.


and congrats to those who got into council(:

Monday, April 06, 2009

after eco lit today, i realise we always go around in circles. we're stuck at square one, we think we made progress, to go to square two, but then we realise that actually at square one, we were better off, and we go back to square one.

like how from all the natural stuff, we move on to synthetics and plastics, and yet, the better quality stuffs always claim they're 'natural'. or like initially food was all so-called organic (i dont think they had chemical fertilisers hundreds and thousands of years ago), but we came up with all sorts of man-made stuff, right down to genetically modified food, but now, ppl still prefer the 'natural, organic' food. stuff like that.


and perhaps not many know, but there's a last kampong on mainland Singapore, it's called Kampong Lorong Buangkok.

"The same old zinc-roofed huts, surrounded by rambutan, jackfruit and banana trees, are still nestled in a hard-to-find forest clearing.

There're no roads here, just a well-trodden dirt path snaking to this quiet enclave.

The air is fresh. It's so quiet that you can hear the chickens clucking and crickets chirping.

At night, the village descends into almost total darkness with so few street lamps in use.

Life in this last surviving kampung in Singapore still crawls at slow pace.

The friendly folks here keep their doors unlocked. Children run and cycle around freely without fear of traffic. The many stray dogs here bark at every stranger or the occassional snake slithering in the undergrowth.

And tourists and locals hunt down this hamlet every weekend for a taste of the kampung lifestyle - a pecularity in this city state."


http://victorkoo.blogspot.com/2009/02/last-look-at-kampong-lorong-buangkok.html

and there were a few ntu students who did some proj/documentary on the place, the youtube video links are here. (part 1, part 2 and part 3) and they make me feel like going there to stay. gives some sort of connection with Nature i guess. it used to be a swamp. most of singapore used to be swamp/forests. in fact, much of the world. why did everything (or almost everything) have to go for humans? it's saddening :( we dont deserve this much, we werent even the first on Earth. economic value isnt everything.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

was listening to the news in the morning, on the way to church. there was sth about some guy who just lost his job and went on a shooting rampage, before killing himself (an all too familiar story. somehow, i think creativity in suicidal attempts in america is lacking) and they were saying that it's the second such story in a week. and they were blaming it on the recession.

yet in singapore, the articles about the recession and its effects talk about ppl doing more volunteer work, helping others etc.

which makes me wonder, is it just that in singapore, the editors dont want to make singaporeans any more depressed so they purposely publish stories to motivate the public etc? or it really true that volunteerism is up in singapore because of the recession? and whether in the US, they're just trying to link the shooting rampages to the recession cos it gives them some sort of opportunity to blame the govt (like see, you're not doing enough, and people's lives are being lost as a result) or sth of the sort? just trying to force fit to possibly unrelated events to give a certain outcome that they can ride on.. haha mass media is unreliable..



and i've lost two umbrellas this year already. and it's not even halfway through the year. maybe i should use raincoats instead D:


i keep feeling the desire to get away from the hustle and bustle of (city) life, to go somewhere with fresh air, beautiful trees and flowers, simple and innocent.

Saturday, April 04, 2009

thought a lot during the week, but somehow difficult to find the time to translate them into comprehensible words and meaningful phrases and so, this post will be filled with little bits and pieces of thought. pardon the incoherence, if any.


eco lit on monday provided much food for thought. discussions on human relationships with nature, what we define as nature and stuff like. and our relationship with nature is like our relationship with others. the more we know someone, the more willing we will be to help them. we did this little quiz thing, like if you were along a US highway and you saw someone whose car brokedown. you didnt know the person, and there's no one else there on that long and deserted highway, would you stop to help that person? well i dno, i definitely would i guess, unless i was rushing to like some relative's deathbed or sth of equal importance/urgency. but somehow, most ppl wouldnt.. which made me wonder, why would you only help someone you know? does a stranger not deserve your help as well?
anw, apparently there are 4 stages of our relationship with nature.
1) alientated from Nature
2) travelling with Nature (a place where we go to relax, unwind. which i do. but once you're out of the place eg BTNR, then you forget all about Nature)
3) Caring for Nature (in our lifestyle, habits and everything, not just when we're at the park)
4) integrated with Nature
apparently, there are ppl who are so in sync with Nature that when there are bush fires in Australia, they will fall ill..


and i wonder, why people litter. seriously, why cant they just hold onto whatever they have until they reach a bin? and it's quite saddening that Singapore is only clean cos of the cleaners that the govt employs to pick up our litter. i wish Singaporeans would start picking up litter on the ground and throw it away. but it's kinda hard i guess. but i think the govt needs to work on our civic mindedness. after 6 years of Moral Education and 4 years of Character and Leadership Education, why is it that ppl still dont care?



i realise the recession is not all too bad a thing. okay i didnt realise it, i read a newspaper article. cos they were talking about how volunteerism was up, and how well even though maybe the world powers are more engrossed with saving the economy than saving the earth, at least while ppl try to cut cost, they save electricity. sth about a silver lining in every cloud i guess..




fridays are the worst days of the week. i hate fridays. the lectures/pw all in a row, it makes you feel like you're going to fail your A levels. or maybe it's just me. i think it's just me. but seriously, there's so much to memorise, for every subject, i really do wonder how do ppl get through A levels. after econs lecture, i felt like a bullet train just hit me. and i was just left standing there in a daze, wondering what the hell just happened. 13 pages in 45 mins, seriously!

but leafmonkey workshop on mangroves (by mr lim!) after that was really fun and interesting (: i loved the video and learning how to ID and everything. i wish i could do that more often. i think i really need to go to nice serene places to relax and recharge and refresh, else i'll just die of stress. it just makes me really happy(:


and i just really hope that i dont turn into some science geek at the end of two years. might have lost my sense of humour somewhere, and the part of the brain that generates crap must be incapacitated or sth. kay nvm, i'll find it back someday.

i think it's easier for me to interact with ppl on short term basis though. haha cos you can make a fool of yourself and it doesnt matter, cos well, you wont see them again! or at least, chances are you wont :P

but i guess, i'm now just too caught up with trying to do well academically that i get too stressed. and therefore i need sweets :D and kay brainwash myself. i guess ultimately it just boils down to whether i want to get good grades, but look back on my two years here and realise that i didnt have fun, at all, cos i was just too focused on my studies. which actually, i dont.


but it's kinda hard, to be doing sth that's unconstructive, and not feel like i'm just wasting my time. tho i see it everywhere. when you read blogs where ppl say "okay really gotta focus on my studies/whatever, therefore i wont be coming here soon/declaring hiatus" or "kay i really need to find time to come here before ppl stop reading my blog" or sth of the sort.
and i was just sitting in the park outside my home, and staring at the trees around (and i saw 3 lizards! not sure what kind though) and i wasnt really thinking, just stoning there, but it felt good (: though somehow there was a nagging voice at the back of my mind telling me that i really should be getting home so i can get some work done.

dont think i'm making sense, but anw, all i'm trying to say is, just take the time to enjoy life, and the peace and serenity, and not to take it as a waste of time. cos life's not all about studies.... (: and so.





fosl today was um, rather interesting, though not very useful. but i'm really full of admiration for ppl who do local service learning (on a long term basis), cos most ppl just think that only overseas ones are cool and they dont want to do lsl like helping out at old folks home and stuff like.





i think i need to re-think my life.



and to everyone else out there, who's having season/SYF, good luck, jiayou, take care! (:

for the things in life worth living for (: