In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

annoyed with myself for having wasted so much time unnecessarily today.


newspaper collection with lifang (and various other people whom i dont really know) for project ownage in the afternoon was not to say fun, but i enjoyed it anyway (: miss spending time with her. and after we ended, there was a super heavy downpour. and we couldnt be bothered waiting for it to lessen up (it didnt for a long time anw), so we just took out our umbrellas and walked in the rain. had to wade across various flooded walkways and the field between s11 and j8. it was like walking in a padi field, you can really feel each surge of water rush into your shoes and your feet getting thoroughly wet. was fun anw (:




too many thoughts and feelings to process now.

Friday, October 30, 2009

this week has really been a long and tiring week for many people. perhaps due to the onslaught of relentless training, along with tutorials and lectures and ihc. people are starting to burn out, which is bad :/ we havent even started j2.


promos went well enough for me, though i suppose there are people who cant say the same. i just hope that it can be sustained, especially next year. :/ worried for ct 1 and ct 2 next year, cos first half of the year is just crazy.


and i'm really glad my parents are back home (they ditched my bro and i for a week to go hainan island, which apparently isnt all it's made out to be) and that i can be back home (:




halloween's tomorrow, and guess how i'm celebrating? by studying for chinese! how fitting, isnt it? high expectations perhaps, but i'll be really disappointed if i dont get my A. and unfortunately, there really is that chance that i wont get it.


4 weeks to the end of sch, and from now till then, it'll just be rushing pw op, srp report, o'team stuff, and all sorts of other miscellaneous activities. and i'll be going overseas in the first week of dec! to st john's island for srp. exciting. cant wait for the end of year. or perhaps, the end of next year.


and according to mypaper, my horoscope for the day: 尽量减少应酬,争取多些时间休息,对身体健康不能掉以轻心,尤其是气管方面的疾病。try to cut down on patronising others, and get more time to rest, cant treat physical health lightly, especially respiratory problems.


well i guess i should be getting more rest time, as should everyone else. hang in there, and not to sound cheesy, but i'll be there if you need me. no matter what.

Friday, October 23, 2009

tired but pretty happy (: even though people pangseh-ed me for house stuff.

cos i'm back at home and i went cycling! :D

house was really super dusty, so i mopped the whole house from top to bottom. mummy should be proud of me xD



op was pretty disastrous (by my standards) though, but hai ah wells, least it was dry run. was super nervous; was feeling numb after i finished presenting. but yay it's over, for now.




and yes, two years is really too short to do everything you want. there's so much that i want to do. but dont know if i can actually cope doing them. when do you know enough's enough, before it becomes too late?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

today was a horrid day.

looking forward to friday. miss my family. suanning does not help, thanks.





i think people need more alone time. to just be by yourself to reflect and wonder and ponder.

Monday, October 19, 2009

i'm starting to feel like a charity case, relying on my friends' and friends' parents' goodwill to get me through the week. from transport to accomodations and meals. :/ but in any case, glad i've got nice friends :D special mention to juan for putting up with me for the week xD


rather an inconvenience to be away from home though. the comforts of home and all that. but wells, it wont be long.



and i think i'm going senile, or getting dementia, cos i was about to proceed to talk about how awesome semakau was...



hope osl cambodia goes fine this year. unexpected things always happen, but i guess what's most important is to leave knowing that you made a difference. made a difference in this world, made this world a better place.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

weekend's just been pretty hectic. really makes me think i cant cope with everything and still expect to not decline in psychological health or sth. dont think i'm making sense - which proves me point.


i'll either find a new equilibrium, or something has to give.



so many things on my mind, from the most mundane of washing clothes and other house stuff, to pw and srp and everything else.



semakau today was awesome. couple of scouts joined us (i had one from maldives and one local. and they were all older than me..) and i saw octopus (spotted by one of the scouts!), huge noble volute (which is a.. mollusk.. snail..), thunder crab, upside down jelly fish, knobbly sea star, common sea star, sea cucumber, hairy crab, among other stuff (: octupus made my day :D

had dinner with some of the team seagrass people, and it was interesting.





hope coming week's gonna be okay.

Friday, October 16, 2009

yesterday was :/

today was kinda fun. morning quite sian, but afternoon was quite interesting.

couldnt recognise my bro when he came out of camp today. quite fail :/

parents and jon leaving for thailand tmr morning.



i spend my daylight hours thinking about pw and srp. :/ stress.


lessons havent even started properly and i'm already lacking sleep. please tell me if you think i'm biting off more than i can chew, cos i think. i can barely judge for myself. slipping back into old habits.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

sometimes, all you need is just a quiet place to think, reflect, ponder, wonder. a place where you can see the clear blue sky, nice green trees, breathe fresh air, and with nothing to distract you from anything.



and i'm starting to find myself in the same position as in previous years. perhaps it's just the inability to refuse an opportunity.

what the world needs, is more happiness and simplicity, and less sorrow, anger and hurt.

Monday, October 12, 2009

i realise that most of the time, in life, you're just trying to strike a balance. a state of dynamic equilibrium maybe. cos whenever you reach a balance, think that everything is going just fine, the way you want it to be, something will come and tip it one way or another again. and you struggle to reach another balance. like le chatelier's principle i guess.


sunday morning was spent at safra quadthlon. cycled over to ecp early in the morning, and it was a really nice morning. lingered around before the start of the race, took photos for the 2 rj teams and zann's team too. congrats to zann's team for getting 3rd! considering they're the youngest and everything (:


and yay i can finally download photos from my bro's cam, thanks to ben aw for lending the cable.

Canon Photo Marathon
togetherness.
weird guy who used damn lot of coupons.
motion.
energy.
group photo.sunset.

Safra Quadthlon
sunrise.
yuda, jeanhui, juan. short of their swimmer, no idea why he isnt in the photo :/
rachel, theodore, dew and matthias.




and i really cant quite believe that i'm actually reading campbell for bio o selection test tmr. i mean what are the chances? but ah wells, just try i guess.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

canon photomarathon today was kinda fun, but super tiring.

for one, the organisation was much, much better than sypc, the one that acsi organised. a lot more efficient and well thought-out. the themes were much better than macabre -.-, being 'togetherness', 'motion' and 'energy'. though i suppose canon is an oligopolistic firm with supernormal profits, hence they have the resources to organise this kind of large-scale event as part of non-price competition.

spent most of the day walking around tanjong pagar, orchard, somerset, city link, marina square and suntec city.


oh and i like my brother's fish eye lens (: really fun to play with.



photos will have to wait, cos i dont know where the usb cable for the camera is, nor do i know where he placed his card reader.



and D: saw my srp mentor at suntec city while walking around looking for inspiration. pfft, i dont want to think about it.

Friday, October 09, 2009

hmm post-promos has been a mixture of fun and stress. mostly been going out, eating, watched a nc-16 movie (the ugly truth. it's seriously morally degrading. i suggest bringing a blindfold to watch the not-so-savoury parts of the movie.), cycling(: and climbing :/

pft climbing sucks now, and the thought of having to train so much more, just to get back to the standard i was before promos, is just :/


hai, and everyone thinks after promos is a damn slack period. i think... all i can say is i hope to make it to march next year.



super tired now (cycling in the morning with shaina was super cool :D and going out with ringers batchmates was fun too(: ) and tomorrow's a super long day.

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

math today was horrible, a disappointment. panicked during the paper, made stupid mistakes, all in all, not what i expected. but nvm, it's over and there's nothing i can do about it now.

hopefully bio will be much better.


No Christian has any valid reason to be in fear or anxiety. In fact, it's a sin (when it's a free will choice, which is different than anxiety attacks that indicate a need for medical and/or psychological help). It's a sin when it occurs because we've wandered away from Jesus and his wisdom and his renewing strength and his peace. Compounding the sin, we inflict our bad mood upon others and send it rippling out into the world.
- © 2009 by Terry A. Modica. Good News Reflections


ahh wells. (: even though i keep whining about everything, i'm really thankful for everything, really.

Monday, October 05, 2009

k i really shouldnt be so angsty about promos. they're just exams. and i should stop whining about how the rest of my family doesnt have to study so much either, cos jon's psle starts on the day i end.



In The End - Linkin Park
It starts with
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time

All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away

It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on, but didn't even know
Or wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

One thing, I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how

I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised

It got so far
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me in the end

You kept everything inside
And even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be
A memory of a time when

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know

I tried so hard and got so far
But in the end it doesn't even matter
I had to fall to lose it all
But in the end it doesn't even matter



and even though the work never ends, still looking forward to a time when we dont have to study day in day out. 2 days more (:

Sunday, October 04, 2009

i hate jc. it places such importance on academics that it forces you to rot at home, frantically trying to revise for a subject that is hopeless anyway, while the rest of your family goes off to celebrate mid-autumn festival with your relatives.

and it doesnt end. no, because seab feels the need to give pri sch students 4 days of psle marking day holidays, right on the same week as the school holiday for Deepavali. such that, like i said before, my family will disappear off to thailand for a holiday, and leave me alone in Singapore.


and i give up on chem. the possibility of failing it (for promos) has never been so real.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

been going to Novena for the past few sats. (and if you dont know, Novena church is the one involved in the exorcism case a.. few months ago?)

anw, when i went today, the homily was about "why pray?" and the Father said sth about his friend in Philippines who said that after the disaster that struck, more people go to church than before.
i suppose you pray because you have nothing to lose; pray cos you place all your hope in a Higher being that is God, cos He can do things that you cant; pray for comfort, for reassurance, for a peace of mind, for strength.


and reading all those newspaper reports about the disasters in Indonesia, Phillippines, Samoa, Vietnam, i realise i really feel quite affected by them. in the past, it just seemed.. so far away, and it doesnt concern me, and you have other more pressing problems (like trying to cover all the topics and do enough revision for promos) that yeah you feel sorry for the people affected by the disaster, but that's it. life goes on.
but this time, reading some of the reports can actually make me cry. like that report about this guy who saved his relatives and this mom and kid from drowning during the floods, but in the end, he lost his life.


i really think teenagers are one of the most self-absorbed bunch of people, cos we're so often absorbed with our own problems, problems that we perceive to be of great importance. and i suppose i'm one of them. but then again, that is a generalisation, i'm sure there are exceptions around.



flow of thought a bit disjointed; sounds a bit hypocritical perhaps, but promos are really :/ now. i'm starting to wonder if i'll ever pass chem. and now i understand how it feels to study really hard, but never do well.