In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit if you're interested in more recent writing.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

Merry belated Christmas (: hope it was a joyous occasion.

i really dont know what i'm doing, why i'm doing what i'm doing.

met lifang for tea on thu, and we were just talking. and i realise that seriously, whatever that i would want to do and would like to do in the future, probably wouldnt require me to get straight As for A levels, or do very well in all the CTs and prelims. i'm not aiming to be a doctor, nor lawyer, nor banker, nor do business. so why then, am i studying hard(er than last year)?

and on that note, i've been so slack these past few weeks, that seriously, i think all tests leading up to CT1, and CT1 itself, i will not do very well. like seriously really :/ kinda worried about it. my grades are so gonna suck for at least the first 2/3 months next year.

and yet, despite the fact that i still have hw and srp and tests to study for, i still go out. i'm rather amazed really, have my priorities changed or what? i still go out to climb, for floorball training, for fun. :/

not looking forward to coming back from korea.

random quotes
"There are two kinds of people, those who do the work and those who take the credit. Try to be in the first group; there is less competition there." - Indira Gandhi

"The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them." - Robert Frost"

and i totally agree with this:
"The ultimate inspiration is the deadline." - Nolan Bushnell

so gonna play hard this coming week. probably the last time in a long time.

and since i wont be around, Happy New Year in advance! :)

till 3 jan.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

done with draft one, finally. rather crappy job, in my opinion. but i really dont have much time left. appendices and draft one of second report still left to be done.

:/ homework and studying is so cmi.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

i realise that i am one of those people who act differently in different social settings. on a deeper level, i'm still the same (i think), but perhaps superficially, i behave rather differently. if you know me in this one setting, i may be rather quiet, in another, i'm really noisy.

and so, perhaps there is no (or few) one person who can say they know me completely.

4 days to christmas. as i grow older each year, the meaning of christmas changes. when i was a kid, it used to be so exciting, bright lights and presents and gatherings and parties and games and fun. but in recent years, just like all other holidays, it's somewhat lost its .. commercial appeal? i no longer feel excited over the presents that i may/may not get, no longer anticipate the whatever parties that happen during christmas season. i think i'm just getting jaded. it's the same for new year, and national day, and everything else.

but yes, perhaps i'm growing more aware. more aware of the spiritual side of life, deeper meaning to life.

comparing last year to this, i think i've thought less about certain stuff, but more about others. laughed less, perhaps, but prayed more. cried less certainly, but not really been happy more. more at peace with my life, perhaps? i dont know.

to finish my reports, homework and study by the end of this week, i think i need a miracle.

Friday, December 18, 2009

oh and Happy Birthday Li Fang! :)

haha i really miss the times when we were classmates in s2 and math tuition in s3 and s4 and osl in s3 and s4 and dwen an in s4.

haha we've come a pretty long way since being (lousy) reserve swimmers in kong hwa.

and that hand sign is short for i love you in sign lang.
i need to slack less and do more work. i have 1 week left to finish 2 reports, all my homework and study for week 1 tests.

quite exhausted. hardly been home this week, with srp and highlights stuff and photog outing to ubin (where i got almost 20 bites :/) and nerites hunting at sentosa and flu jab and wedding mass and climbing.

cant wait to go korea. but before that i need to finish my work, sighs. and the weekend is rather packed.

life is pretty busy, perhaps. people (not from raffles) seem to think we are very busy. perhaps yes. but i dont know, that's the only way i know it, maybe? so used to it that to not have anything is just weird. this is normal, for me at least. and well, when all your friends are busy with something or another, to not have anything is a bit :/ not that i'm always out everyday. this year, i've been home more often than i have in the past two years, perhaps. and it feels good, to be able to slack once in a while and just rot at home.

marriage is such a sacred thing. i wonder if couples, years after their marriage, look back and think of the vows they said, and reflect on them. and those who divorce, what do they think then? at the time of marriage, when they were so in love with each other, that they vowed to be with each till the end of time and what not.

You are my all in all - Point of Grace
You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Home - Michael Bublé
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home

May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that

Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home

Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home

And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me

Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home

And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know

Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home

but i'm not in paris or rome. i'm just at st john's island.

:/ an impossible load of work to complete in less than 2 weeks.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

"Rich countries are responsible for three-quarters of the emissions in the atmosphere today.
The poorest 10% of the world's population have contributed less than 1% of the carbon emissions currently in the atmosphere. Yet these people are the first to feel the devastating effects of climate change on their lives and livelihoods."

during this season of advent, to prepare for Jesus Christ's coming, we should help those in need. that was the central theme of today's mass, from what i gathered.

somehow, helping those in need gives me a sense of purpose, a meaning to life. but it makes me wonder, do i really do it altruistically? or is it for the sense of self-satisfaction, of knowing that i'm needed by someone else? kinda like fueling egoism, in a sense, if you get what i mean? i know i'm not very coherent now :/

Brothers and sisters:
Rejoice in the Lord always.
I shall say it again: rejoice!
Your kindness should be known to all.
The Lord is near.
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
make your requests known to God.
Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
- Phil 4:4-7

quell that mounting stress.

Wednesday, December 09, 2009

while the Copenhagen Climate Talks appear to be the fore-front issue for most of the world, and even in singapore (front page headers), no one seems to be talking much about it.

perhaps most of us are unconcerned over what happens in Copenhagen, since it's so far anyway, and probably doesn't really concern us. but it does anyway, and it's nice to know what's happening there.

apparently there was some scandal in which some people hacked emails of climate scientists and cherry-picked some phrases from the emails to make it sound as though all the science on climate change was faked.

and then Sarah Palin started talking about how climate change is totally not happening and Obama should boycott Copenhagen. i'm not very good with words, nor do i really like to think critically, hence not a good critique, so i shall just copy past an article about the whole issue. obviously it's about how Palin doesnt think before she speaks.

Sarah Palin’s zombie charm …
December 3rd, 2009 · 10 Comments

Sarah “Energy Exert” Palin has weighed in on ClimateGate, using Facebook to jump in with her perspective on SwiftHack. Let’s take a moment to parse this statement.

The president’s decision to attend the international climate conference in Copenhagen needs to be reconsidered in light of the unfolding Climategate scandal.

This is a nice assertion: “needs to be reconsidered.” Typically, wouldn’t the call be more direct? Something like, “Mr President, I call on you to reconsider …”

And, in fact, despite the assertions that follow and will likely appear in (some) comments, it is hard to see how it “needs to be reconsidered”. While Marc Morano and serial denialsts are twisting the material with joy, to suggest that it provides a window on a global cabal, there is nothing that has come out that calls into question any of the fundamental scientific conclusions about the Theory of Global Warming.

The leaked e-mails involved in Climategate expose the unscientific behavior of leading climate scientists who deliberately destroyed records to block information requests, manipulated data to “hide the decline” in global temperatures, and conspired to silence the critics of man-made global warming.

A theme to follow. “Critics of man-made global warming …?” Guess what, Sarah, I consider myself a “critic of man-made global warming.” I know that this is happening and that it is endangering my, my (and your) children’s future. We should all be critical of “manmade global warming” and act, forcefully, to end it.

What is the “conspiracy to silence”? It comes from those, like Marc Morano and the Competitive Enterprise Institute, who have diligently worked to distort the discussion and attack those who follow the evidence of and sound the alarm about humanity’s ever-mounting impact on the global eco-system.

As for that conspiracy against a journal, perhaps worth looking here before running too far with this truthiness.

And, well, to better understand the emails beyond the Faux News-promoted snippets taken out of context, perhaps it might make sense to try to understand the stolen emails’ contents in a larger context.

I support Senator James Inhofe’s call for a full investigation into this scandal.

Well, I too could support a “full investigation” which, of course, would include the past 15+ years of Exxon-Mobil emails related to their efforts to support disinformation and deception efforts about global warming. And, the emails of a number of other organizations who have worked so hard to distort and inhibit truthful discussion of Global Warming.

Because it involves many of the same personalities and entities behind the Copenhagen conference, Climategate calls into question many of the proposals being pushed there, including anything that would lead to a cap and tax plan.

Actually, simply put, no. ClimateGate does not call into question “proposals” at Copenhagen.

Policy should be based on sound science, not snake oil.

How about that policy should be based on scientifically sound advice? Sound Science, after all, is a code-word for subordinating science to polluting industry interest. (”Sound science is a phrase often used by corporate public relations and government agency spokesmen to describe the scientific research used to justify a claim or position.”)

I took a stand against such snake oil science when I sued the federal government over its decision to list the polar bear as an endangered species despite the fact that the polar bear population has increased.

True information, if it is true, doesn’t necessarily mean truthful. Even if there are patterns of polar bear population increases (note, not an area of expertise or focus), scientific analysis shows diminishing Arctic Ice coverage and reduced Arctic Ice mass to be a significant threat to polar bears in the years to come. (”Wildlife biologists and climate scientists overwhelmingly agree that the disappearance of Arctic sea ice will lead to a sharp drop in polar bear populations.“)

I’ve never denied the reality of climate change; in fact, I was the first governor to create a subcabinet position to deal specifically with the issue. I saw the impact of changing weather patterns firsthand while serving as governor of our only Arctic state. But while we recognize the effects of changing water levels, erosion patterns, and glacial ice melt, we cannot primarily blame man’s activities for the earth’s cyclical weather changes.

Someone needs to ask: How can you simultaneously believe that it’s a problem that we can address (why else have a subcabinet position) and also believe that it’s not a manmade problem and we just have to throw our hands up in the air about it.

In addition, take a look at the skill of that last phrase:

we cannot primarily blame man’s activities for the earth’s cyclical weather changes.

Of course we can’t. The climate has been through constant change through it history of millions and billions (not 6000) years. Some change has been gradual, some has been relatively sudden, and some is even cyclical. No one (NO ONE) who looks seriously at climate issues denies that there is the Earth’s climate system undergoes natural change and no one (NO ONE) says that there are not natural elements interacting with humanity’s actions. No one (NO ONE) is blaming man’s activities for climate change 10s of millions of years ago.

What scientific analysis is showing, with greater conclusiveness with essentially every passing day, is that human action is overlaying on top of the natural system and has become a forcing function that almost certainly is having a greater impact on driving the “changing weather patterns” that Sarah Palin saw “firsthand” than natural processes (cyclical or otherwise).

PS: Does anyone else note the continued confusion and conflation of “cyclical weather changes” and climate?

The drastic economic measures being pushed by dogmatic environmentalists won’t change the weather, but will dramatically change our economy for the worse.

So many attacks and falsehoods in one sentence. “Drastic economic measures” that will likely lead to lower energy costs and lower health care costs for most Americans. And, well, again “weather” rather than “climate” — action will “change” Climate Change (we hope) by reducing the extent of damage to come from climate change in the years and decades ahead. And, it will change the economy … for the better.

Policy decisions require real science and real solutions, not junk science and doomsday scare tactics pushed by an environmental priesthood that capitalizes on the public’s worry and makes them feel that owning an SUV is a “sin” against the planet.

Yes, seeking to understand how we structure a robust and prosperous society sustainable in the face of limited resources is evidently a ‘religion’.

And, we don’t need to talk about the “planet” to talk about the SUVs problems. While you might like oil prices to be high to boost your family’s annual subsidy checks of oil royalties from exploiting oil resources on federal lands, there is a simple fact: the US exports $100s of millions every day (and $billions when oil prices are high) to pay for imported oil. We cannot produce enough oil in the US to meet current demand. Does sending money to Venezuela to put oil in that SUV strengthen American security?

In his inaugural address, President Obama declared his intention to “restore science to its rightful place.” Boycotting Copenhagen while this scandal is thoroughly investigated would send a strong message that the United States government will not be a party to fraudulent scientific practices. Saying no to Copenhagen and cap and tax are first steps in “restoring science to its rightful place.”

No, Sarah, perhaps actually showing respect for scientists and the scientific process would achieve much of this. And, if you would start to take that route, taking a principled stand to end the Republican War on Science, perhaps scientists would consider returning to the Republican Party.
NOTE: From an email …

It feels like objective reality is sliding backwards and playing defense again.

The thing about zombies is that their unthinking determination usually wears down the sentient humans and destroys civilizations.

It’s happened in far too many movies not to be true.

The best single stop ’shopping’ about ClimateGate/SwiftHack remains:The SwiftHack Scandal: What You Need to Know


the whole refute was written by Adam Siegal. the words in yellow were taken from Palin's fb note which was later published in Washington Post as an op-ed.

i find this rather amusing.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

heh zoning out is a good thing after all.

The Brain: Stop Paying Attention: Zoning Out Is a Crucial Mental State
Researchers say a wandering mind may be important to setting goals, making discoveries, and living a balanced life.
by Carl Zimmer
From the July-August special issue, published online June 15, 2009

I am going to do my best to hold your attention until the very last word of this column. Actually, I know it’s futile. Along the way, your mind will wander off, then return, then drift away again. But I can console myself with some recent research on the subject of mind wandering. Mind wandering is not necessarily the sign of a boring column. It’s just one of the things that make us human.

Everybody knows what it is like for our minds to wander, and yet, for a long time psychologists shied away from examining the experience. It seemed too elusive and subjective to study scientifically. Only in the past decade have they even measured just how common mind wandering is. The answer is very.

Some of the most striking evidence comes from Jonathan Schooler, a psychologist at the University of California at Santa Barbara who is one of the leading researchers on mind wandering. In 2005 he and his colleagues told a group of undergraduates to read the opening chapters of War and Peace on a computer monitor and then to tap a key whenever they realized they were not thinking about what they were reading. On average, the students reported that their minds wandered 5.4 times in a 45-minute session. Other researchers have gotten similar results with simpler tasks, such as pronouncing words or pressing a button in response to seeing particular letters and numbers. Depending on the experiment, people spend up to half their time not thinking about the task at hand—even when they’ve been told explicitly to pay attention.

Psychologists have also discovered ways to increase and decrease mind wandering. Jonathan Smallwood, a colleague of Schooler’s at UC Santa Barbara, instructed subjects to tap a key every time they saw a new number appear on a computer screen but to hold off tapping if the number was three. The more quickly the numbers came, the less often the subjects’ minds wandered. But as people practiced the task and became more familiar with it, their mind wandering increased. Smallwood has also found that mood affects mind wandering: If he showed people a short video about a sick dog before they performed the task, for example, they spent more time mind wandering than did a separate group that had watched a comedy clip.

Alcohol tweaks mind wandering in a particularly interesting way, as Schooler and his colleagues report in a new paper entitled “Lost in the Sauce,” published in Psychological Science. The psychologists ran the War and Peace experiment again, but this time after serving their subjects some vodka with cranberry juice. Drunk readers actually reported less mind wandering than sober people did. That does not mean that you should swill vodka if you want a laser focus on Tolstoy’s deathless prose, though. Schooler has shown that there are, in fact, two kinds of mind wandering: mind wandering when you are aware that you’re thinking about something else and mind wandering without awareness. He calls this second kind “zoning out.”

To determine which kind of mind wandering people experience, Schooler and his collaborators told the participants in the War and Peace experiment to report their own drifting but also asked them every few minutes if they were thinking of something else. If people responded to those questions with a yes, that meant they weren’t aware enough of their own minds to report their mind wandering on their own. These experiments show that we spend about 13 percent of our time zoning out. But when we are drunk, that figure doubles. In other words, inebriated subjects report less mind wandering only because they are less aware of their own minds.

When our minds wander, we lose touch with the outside world. We don’t actually black out, of course, but we are more likely to make mistakes, fail to encode memories, or miss a connection. Zoning out makes us particularly prone to these errors. Schooler and Smallwood, along with Merrill McSpadden of the University of British Columbia, tested the effect of zoning out by having a test group read a Sherlock Holmes mystery in which a villain used a pseudonym. As people were reading the passages discussing this fact, the researchers checked their state of attentiveness. Just 30 percent of the people who were zoning out at the key moments could give the villain’s pseudonym, while 61 percent of the people who weren’t zoning out at those moments succeeded.

These results are shocking when you stop to think about them. Each of us has a magnificent hive of billions of neurons in our head, joined to each other by trillions of connections. The human brain is arguably the most complex organ in the natural world. And yet studies on mind wandering are showing that we find it difficult to stay focused for more than a few minutes on even the easiest tasks, despite the fact that we make mistakes whenever we drift away.

Neuroscientists are investigating this paradox by searching for the signatures of mind wandering in the brain. To that end, Schooler and Smallwood recently ran yet another experiment—this one in collaboration with Alan Gordon of Stanford University, University of British Columbia neuroscientist Kalina Christoff, and Christoff’s graduate student Rachelle Smith. The researchers put people in a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) scanner and gave them the standard press-a-key-unless-you-see-three test. From time to time they asked the subjects if they were paying attention to the task; if they hadn’t been, the researchers asked if they had been aware that their mind had wandered. The subjects reported mind wandering 43 percent of the time they were asked. In nearly half those cases, they said they hadn’t been aware of their inattentiveness until the scientists asked.

Later, the scientists pored over the scans, looking closely at the activity in people’s brains right before they were asked about their state of mind. Overall, people who said they were mind wandering had a pattern of brain activity quite different from those who were focused on the task.

The regions of the brain that become active during mind wandering belong to two important networks. One is known as the executive control system. Located mainly in the front of the brain, these regions exert a top-down influence on our conscious and unconscious thought, directing the brain’s activity toward important goals. The other regions belong to another network called the default network. In 2001 a group led by neuroscientist Marcus Raichle at Washington University discovered that this network was more active when people were simply sitting idly in a brain scanner than when they were asked to perform a particular task. The default network also becomes active during certain kinds of self-referential thinking, such as reflecting on personal experiences or picturing yourself in the future.

The fact that both of these important brain networks become active together suggests that mind wandering is not useless mental static. Instead, Schooler proposes, mind wandering allows us to work through some important thinking. Our brains process information to reach goals, but some of those goals are immediate while others are distant. Somehow we have evolved a way to switch between handling the here and now and contemplating long-term objectives. It may be no coincidence that most of the thoughts that people have during mind wandering have to do with the future.

Even more telling is the discovery that zoning out may be the most fruitful type of mind wandering. In their fMRI study, Schooler and his colleagues found that the default network and executive control systems are even more active during zoning out than they are during the less extreme mind wandering with awareness. When we are no longer even aware that our minds are wandering, we may be able to think most deeply about the big picture.

Because a fair amount of mind wandering happens without our ever noticing, the solutions it lets us reach may come as a surprise. There are many stories in the history of science of great discoveries occurring to people out of the blue. The French mathematician Henri Poincaré once wrote about how he struggled for two weeks with a difficult mathematical proof. He set it aside to take a bus to a geology conference, and the moment he stepped on the bus, the solution came to him. It is possible that mind wandering led him to the solution. John Kounios of Drexel University and his colleagues have done brain scans that capture the moment when people have a sudden insight that lets them solve a word puzzle. Many of the regions that become active during those creative flashes belong to the default network and the executive control system as well.

Of course, being permanently zoned out has its downside. It is one thing to drift away for a few lines of War and Peace. But if you’re pondering where you’ll be in five years as you drive through a busy intersection, you may not be around in five years to find out. Our brains delicately navigate between near-term and long-term thinking, monitoring our own awareness to make sure that we are not missing something vital. Perhaps, Schooler and Smallwood argue, the secret to a good life is finding the balance between the two, the rhythm that brings harmony to the different timescales at which we live.

And if you are staring at that last sentence and wondering what on earth I’m talking about, you might want to scan back a few paragraphs to find the spot where you zoned out. Honestly, I won’t mind.


Saturday, December 05, 2009

it's already the last month of the year. 4 weeks more to the start of what is probably the most gruelling and horrible school year in the 12 years of formal schooling that we're gonna get.

and reflecting on this year, i think i have really changed quite a bit. to say that i didnt change would be a lie -- even though i really hoped i wouldnt change in jc. but i guess it's really inevitable, just a part of growing up.

one year ago, i certainly wouldnt have thought that i'd be studying during holidays now. and reading my past blog entries, about my fears of jc and inability to cope with workload and everything, it's all vastly different from what i'm thinking now. i guess we've just grown used to jc life, and i think i've become more jaded and less... passionate about stuff. which is bad thing :/
now i'm just going through the motions as though on autopilot, doing things that i have to do, and not feeling any real passion for them. the drive is still there, but for different reasons. it's more cos i'm already like that, already accustomed to doing my best in everything, trying hard and well putting in effort. more than cos i really... want to?

glad for certain decisions i made, but really regretting some others. in feb/mar, i know i was agonising for a really long time over whether to join council or not. but now, i think i'm quite glad that i didnt.

and joining floorball (in oct -.-) was something i totally didnt expect earlier in the year. not regretting it so far, and i hope i wont ever. it takes my mind of stuff (like studies and srp) which is something i really need now. i think i'm getting a bit obsessed :/ bad bad bad. i always feel immensely guilty when i take naps, cos i intend to sleep for half an hour, but end up sleeping 2 hours. like today :/

but at least i managed to keep climbing through the year (except for 3 weeks of so before promos) which i think is a fair achievement, and managed to go sentosa once, semakau twice, chek jawa twice and cyrene once this year too (:

think i'm getting more inane and self-centred as jc passes by.

this song was stuck in my head while monitoring seagrasses out at cyrene.
Freedom - Akon
Everything I have, everything I own
All my mistakes man, you already know
I wanna be free, I wanna be free

From Senegal, West Africa
To St. Louis, Missouri
Thanks to Catherine Dana
For giving my pops his glory

He came down with his drum
And a dream to change the world
In a free uplifting world
And that's all he ever want

Mom came a little after
Gave birth to my brother
Then all of the pressure
Made 'em fight one another

See, the pain would never last
Did the best with what they had
He knew the world was out for grabs
And he searched to find his

Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom
Everything I have, everything I own
All my mistakes, man, you already know
I wanna be free, I wanna be free
So I search to find my

Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom
Everything I have, everything I own
All my mistakes, girl, you already know
I wanna be free, I wanna be free

As a kid I never knew
I'd have to hustle just to make it through
So I found myself skipping school
'Cause the girls don't think I'm cool

And because of that I didn't care
Whether or not I went to jail
I just wanna be treated fair
'Cause that's all I ever knew

Telling me I need to slow down
'Cause everybody in the whole town
'Cause they know how I get down
Foreigner from another town

Can you believe we still around?
After so many hit the ground
And we ain't gon' stop now
Until we get that

Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom
Everything I have, everything I own
All my mistakes, man, you already know
I wanna be free, I wanna be free
Won't stop till I find my

Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom
Everything I have, everything I own
All my mistakes, girl, you already know
I wanna be free, I wanna be free

If you wanna be free, and the land is drug free
Put your hands up, put your hands up
If you wanna be free, from all your misery
Put your hands up, put your hands up

If you wanna be free, with plenty money
Put your hands up, put your hands up
If you wanna be free, just praise G O D
Put your hands up, put your hands up

Freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom
Everything I have, everything I own
All my mistakes girl, you already know
I wanna be free, I wanna be free, yea

people going overseas - take care(: you'll be in my prayers.

and i realise that this year, i usually end off with take care. like when i say bye to someone, i'll add "take care!"

Friday, December 04, 2009

visited kk hospital's cleft and cranofacial centre to know more about cleft lip treatment and stuff, for op smile. was a very interesting and informative visit, really hope i can do more to help. but as always, time is a major limiting factor, and i really dont know how much i can commit.

but everytime i see the op smile videos, it makes me rethink about what i want to do in the future. to be a doctor/do something medical and be able to impact and change a person's life, really is quite cool. though people would say that other jobs would also be able to impact other people (like being a teacher) too...

and i think i like working (or rather playing) with kids. and not just cos they're cute. for one, you can act really childish and be like a kid, and people cant really say anything, cos hey, i'm working with kids, need to think at their level :P

ah wells, it'll be a year more before i need to seriously think about this. cant believe the j2s' torture has ended, while ours has barely started.

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

havent posted photos in a really long time, so shall take the time and effort to do so now. cyrene today (: in case you dont know, cyrene reef is Made up three submerged reef flats: Terumbu Pandan, Pandan Beacon and South Cyrene Beacon, Cyrene Reef is ringed by petrochemical plants on Jurong Island and Pulau Bukom. It is also right next to the container terminals on the mainland. The Reef is also along major shipping lanes for huge container ships and other ocean-going vessels.
taken from

reallyy fortunate to be able to go there, cos not everyone gets to go there! one of the main draws of team seagrass -- that you get to visit places that no one else gets to! plus get to ride on cool boats for free. well you pay in terms of the time and effort spent. monitoring seagrass :D

only 6 of us today, really small group, each of us had to take a line.

sky was pretty cloudy, but thankfully it didnt rain (: thank God for the awesome weather and no accidents.walking on the sand flat to our sites
shrimp. if you can see it.
seagrass meadow extending out. looks a bit like semakau, only the grasses are shorter. and slightly more sparse. but super lot of species :/

finished my transect with 20 mins to spare or so.

sea stars are really commonplace.
common sand star

knobbly sea star
knobbly eating something jelly-like

sea urchins.

and sea slugs

bad shot but this is a sea cucumber. synaptid sea cucumber if i'm not wrong.

sunset was awesome

(colours were actually more vivid and prettier than captured on the camera)

highlight of my week, that was. awesome place to just walk around and soak in nature's beauty and wonder why people dont do this more often.

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

spent some 15 mins sitting on the swing in the park outside my house this afternoon. random people walking through the park must have thought i was quite weird, swinging in the park all alone. the sky's been a nice pretty blue these few days. with really pretty clouds.

i feel like i've lost my sense of identity since coming to rj. not that i dont know who i am, but i dont seem to be able to identify myself with anything anymore. like what lifang said, just drifting along, not "belonging" anywhere.

like in rg, most people associate me with odac, or with osl. or perhaps, to a lesser extent, with psb, or ringers, or whatever else i was in.

but in rj, there's nothing. didnt join odac, nor isle. even though i still climb, but rock climbing isnt recognised in rj anyway. and though i still kaypoh around rg osl stuff this year. nor council, and there are 150 or so other ogls (which is most like psb, perhaps). total noob at photog, so no one would associate me with it. bio soc is just ... and i dont hang out at the open lab as much as bio geeks, nor am i in bio o/bio ra/other random bio stuff. and floorball is even more needless to say. and hardly anyone would associate me with op smile either.

ah wells. just a year more in rj.
one more year to squeeze in memories, hopefully good ones. to experience different things.

friendship is such an intangible concept.