In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Sunday, January 31, 2010

oh yes, and if anyone wants to go mt kinabalu, or knows anyone who does, tell me please!

3D2N at mount kinabalu + via ferrata for 2 persons. you get a 2 night stay at Pendant Hut, an opportunity to experience the world's highest and Asia's first via ferrata, an opportunity to summit Low's Peak at 4,100m, and a chance to do sports climbing (more like slab climbing) on the roof of Borneo! it is apparently valued at SGD 1,500.

and yes, i'm trying to sell this package. tell me kay, if you're interested.


take care guys, just 2 weeks more to cny hols!
recently, these few weeks, i think i've hardly been thinking. i dont mean that i dont think at all, cos there's still tutorials and work that needs to be done. but thinking and reflecting about other stuff.

when i'm at my comp, i dont think about this kind of stuff. during the day i do, but by the time i sit in front of my comp, everything has leaked out of my head.





it's the end of january already, a super long and exhausting month. so many things happened this month.


and i really think i'm just lucky. it is always unexpected. but thank the Lord for everything, He has given me so much(:
spent the whole day today at french school. for the 5th and maybe last time?
funny how everytime i go for a competition, i dont want to compete, but yet if i dont do well, i berate myself for it. guess that happens to most people, ah wells.



february's gonna be another packed month, with cny and oral defense and other random stuff. maybe i am packing too many things into my schedule, but i hope that i can still do the things i did last year.





on a more belated side, it was shaina's birthday yesterday! sorry i didnt post on your birthday itself, but hey, i already woke up early and walked around simei for you!
and for all that it's annoying that people say i look like you (or vice versa), still glad that i got to know you better since end s4 and that we're in most stuff together, cos it's really nice(:

second photo courtesy of matthew tan.



wish life could be as simple as simply stressing over whether or not i can flash the routes. but no, life is a complicated function, with many variables and many things to take note of, and finding a balance, an equilibrium, is really tough.

Friday, January 29, 2010

another long and exhausting week. been seeing the super bright moon on the way home these few days/weeks i dno cant really remember anymore.

everyday is starting to become rather routine, going out and coming home at the same time, the only variation being what i do in between.



orientation's been great fun so far, and i think my og is pretty awesome (:




in jc, life's all about prioritizing, about doing what you really want to do in the limited time available. and while i've had more commitments this year than last, i think my prioirities still are about the same.


went out for some sort of dinner with soff, havent gone out with her in so long. was really nice to see her in person and talk to her and yeah, i miss those times in rg.







funny how you to talk some people about the present (or perhaps complain/whine would be a better word), while to others you talk more about the future. and some, about both. or perhaps even the past.





the world is so complex. wish it were simpler. relationships and expectations and differing opinions and personalities, not wanting to go too far yet not wanting to be too withdrawn, the balance in everything.






i dont quite know what to say, or how to phrase my thoughts. perhaps it's the exhaustion and i just dont want to think anymore. or that there are so many different people who might be reading this space.





january's nearly over guys, 10 more months to go.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

super exhausting week. emotionally, mentally, physically.


ms low's passing was super sudden, shocking and saddening. she was an awesome teacher, i miss her and i will never forget her smile, and i will always remember the stories she shared with us in cambodia on the bus back from sok ann to phnom penh. few days after hearing the news, i was still out of sorts. but yes, she would want us to move on and continue helping others and make the world a better place (:



opening lab's opening ceremony on wed (a fairly low-key event in the school but there were hmm impt people there, and somehow involved me by a rather vague extension) was interesting and a good experience/opportunity, and i hope i managed to make a difference in the h2 bio syllabus.




it's super tiring to have fb training mon wed fri and attempt to climb tue thu. it's quite insane really, and in any case, didnt manage to do it cos of one thing or another. thu and fri were emotionally draining days but at least not physically tiring. met up with rg ppl, and i really miss osl.

and it was really nice meeting up with lifang fri night after osl parents meet/alumni gathering. tho it was really late and we were both really tired. always enjoy talking to her, and really, despite all our obvious differences, we both think alike.



despite sleeping before 12 since wed, still super tired. but ytd's climb was fairly decent tho i doubt it'll be much preparation for french sch next week oh no. then had to go jurong safra to deposit bike, and then go church so i didnt manage to do much work.



and today was just insane, retarded and stupid. woke up at 515am to go jurong safra to wait for an hour or so before flag-off, and spend 7 odd hours running/cycling in the insanely hot and scorching sun. where's the adventure, seriously? save deflating and inflating the bike tire, crossword puzzles and bashing through some brambles.


and after that extremely pissing-off/disappointing race, reached home only to find that i left my watch in the toilet -.- seriously not my day. but in any case, thanks to the really nice people at safra jurong, i got my watch back(:



during the long ride to boon lay and back, talked to my dad about all sorts of things, and so it was quite nice (: havent talked to him (properly) in a super long time, been so caught up with school stuff.




and so, now i am left with a pile of undone hw and a super tiring week ahead. oh joy.


ah wells i'm sure i'm not the only one in this state. c'mon we can do this (: just need to survive till... mar hols? :/

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

too fast, too sudden.
there's too much to deal with.



very tired, really tiring to hold out. so many things to do, to go for, and on top of all that.




but yes, stay strong for each other.


take care, please?

Friday, January 15, 2010

people shouldn't make too many promises. especially not busy people. people who have too many things on their mind, on their plates, people who are spread out too thin, committed far too much. promises often become empty ones, and then there's nothing left but disappointment.


i'm sorry if i ever did that to you before.



and yes, it's a crazy week ahead (or perhaps months), i know that. but i think i can make it, make it through february without well, breaking down.


but no matter what, no matter how busy i may (or may not) be, just know that i will, really, try my best to be there if you need it.




on a lighter note, i actually drank coffee to stay awake in class today. but i think nescafe coffee (the canned ones) disagree with my stomach, cos i always feel kinda queasy after drinking it.




and i hate expectations. or perhaps, what i dont like is actually disappointment. i dont like getting disappointed, and i dont like disappointing others.


just a few years back, no one really expected anything. we just went for fun. and when results came out, anywhere not near the bottom was good enough. but slowly, as always, people start getting expectations. top 8 (finals), and perhaps now, top 3. even though i say not to expect anything, inside i know that even i expect something from myself.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

open house finally over, and srp reports too.

open house was tiring. dont think i really did a good job except in the afternoon, when i was slightly high.


but it was really good to see the juniors again. though in part, like most other people, not really looking forward to sharing the facilities with another batch. quite used to being the only batch, having the full run of things.







as you get busier and more exhausted, it's harder to keep up pretenses and facades. i was never as nice as i appear to be. or perhaps i was never nice at all. every year, i try hard to be a nicer person, more patient, more tolerant, more friendly perhaps. but still there are times when i think i'm failing horribly.




and parents whose children are not rafflesians ask: how do you cope? perhaps we dont, not really. dont have an answer for that kind of question. you just do it.





got a lift home from lou, was nice talking to her, havent really properly spoken in a long time. everyone's busy and tired, everyone has a million things to do and lots of hw/tests due. but whatever little time you can get to see and talk, i guess that's good enough for me. and it was nice doing op smile booth duty with soff too, our schedules are so different now.




happy 18th birthday to shi min too(: such happy times we had together, osl 07 group 3, dwen an, class and pw-ing (:

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

done.

:D

finally finally finally done with my srp reports.



super exhausted/tired/worn-out/whatever other synonyms you can think of.

though i'm very sure i'm not the only one. everyone else seems to be equally tired out. and it's only the second day of school.


teachers and seniors sure weren't kidding when they said j2 would be an insane crazy tiring year. hopefully satisfying and somewhat enjoyable i guess.





and yeah, i dug my own grave, i know that. probably a bit insane as well yes. least now i have my weekends more or less free to catch up on acads.







12 days to safra avventura, 16 days to orientation!, 19 days to french sch comp.




feel like i'm back in s4, and everyday was just a countdown.


take care people, this year is one hell of a year.



When We Look Back - O'tiero orientation batch song 2010
Wasn't it just yesterday,
I couldn't find the words to say,
To fill the empty silence,
To break the awkward moments.
A little smile and laughter shared,
A friendship sparked because you cared,
This path we tread won't be smooth,
But together we will pull through.

Walking hand in hand, heart to heart,
Joining voices to sing and dance.
When I start this song, you'll sing along,
And we can just go on and on and on.

When we look back,
Will we remember each moment of this year?
The days that mark our time in here,
Threaten to disappear.
All that we have's the present,
To cherish while we can.
Seizing every chance we're blessed with,
And leave with no regrets.

Took a firm step in this place,
Wishes, hopes, we're in a daze.
The cold walls are taunting,
Just where's the warmth within?
Whenever you call my name,
Across the corridor,
The madness of chasing dreams
Doesn't matter anymore.

Walking hand in hand, heart to heart,
Joining voices to sing and dance.
When I start this song, you'll sing along,
And we can just go on and on and on.

When we look back,
Will we remember each moment of this year?
The days that mark our time in here,
Threaten to disappear.
All that we have's the present,
To cherish while we can.
Seizing every chance we're blessed with,
And leave with no regrets.

Rough winds only bring us higher
Tough fights only make us stronger
Yet knowing we've got one another
We'll stick together more than ever.. Yeahh... Yeahh

When we look back,
Will we remember each moment of this year?
The days that mark our time in here,
Threaten to disappear.
All that we have's the present,
To cherish while we can.
Seizing every chance we're blessed with,
And leave with no regrets.

When we look back,
Will we remember each moment of this year?
The days that mark our time in here,
Threaten to disappear.
All that we have's the present,
To cherish while we can.
All the friends we've made we won't forget,
We'll leave with no regrets.
These two years no regrets.
These two years no regrets.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

school is starting tomorrow. holidays just flew past like that, as usual, too soon, too fast. holidays have been a lot of srp and school, and less of studying or playing.

start of term will be insane, this whole term is just insane.


really living rather day by day now. a lot of discipline and will, to make sure my grades will not fall and i will not lag behind in my acads, despite the increase in commitments.




chem test tomorrow, and i havent studied. what a great start. all the best.

Monday, January 04, 2010

in 2009, i actually prayed more, played more piano, stayed at home more, did more housework, studied more, and went to school less. as compared to 2008.

in 2010, i think i need to study more, and pray even more.


You are my all in all
You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I'd be a fool
You are my all in all

Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising up again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all

Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name
Jesus, Lamb of God
Worthy is Your name




everyone says 2010 will fly by fast. everyone says it's gonna be a stressful and busy year.







and i think i'm just another one of those insane people pretending to be sane. rj is full of them.

Sunday, January 03, 2010

spending the last few days of 2009 and first few days of 2010 overseas means you miss out on exchanging new year greetings and reading new year's resolutions and stuffs.


i spent my new year standing out in the freezing cold with jon and my parents, trying to peek over the heads and shoulders of the hundreds of people in front of us to see what's happening. koreans have got little fireworks thingies (no idea what they're called) and lots of police to celebrate the new year. like seriously a LOT of police. surrounded by them.


korea was fun anw. it was awesome. i hardly thought about srp or school or anything. as soon as my thoughts drifted to work, i'd make sure i think of something else. skiing was awesome (: but i wonder how eco-friendly these ski resorts and skiing itself as a sport really is. but still, it was nice whooshing down slopes, with the wind blowing straight into your face.

and sub-zero temperatures everyday is a real change from tropical singapore. have to bundle up like a dumpling (zhong zi, in chinese) just to go out.

and seoul is really quite cool. apart from the road-side stalls and street markets selling pretty cool stuff, there are touch-screen street directories and huge lcd screens everywhere (you can actually take photos and have it displayed on the screen). and it's really a pretty nice place. only i dont like the smoking there. less than hk, but still more than singapore.

oh and it snowed twice in the week i was there(: was nice, since we're on a holiday. but i can imagine the inconveniences caused by snow if you're actually living there. but my younger bro and i were still pretty awed by the snow, and my younger bro rolls around, stomps around, plays with the snow everywhere such that i think the koreans who are used to it probably think he's pretty weird.

dont think my english is very coherent now. it's rather amusing, how when people ask you "where are you from?" and you answer "singapore", the next thing they say is "oh singapore is very clean". all i can do is laugh and say "yeah it's okay lah". cos they dont know that the cleanliness is because of the armies of foreign workers and elderly that the government hires to make sure the streets are clean.


but i like singapore cos people smoke less and you can dress in shirts and shorts any time of the day, and day of the month, any month of the year. and friends are in singapore too (:





new year resolution? havent really thought of it. i just aim to survive the first month of 2010. it's gonna be a stressful, busy, hopefully exciting year, but january is really just insane. i just dont want my grades to drop. amidst orientation and every other thing. avventura and lfs at end of the month.







but come to think of it, acads are taking over my life, sorta. even when i'm not studying, i'm worrying about the fact that i'm not. that's bad. i'm turning into some ultra kiasu competitive singaporean student. it's like how the priests always say, dont let money turn into your god. dont be slave to money, always working for it, with no time for other things. well i certainly dont value money that much, but acads could be a close second.