In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

hmm, have had a very exciting week so far.


bro's 21st birthday last fri. parents booked chalet and we stayed over from fri-sat. i think my 21st birthday will be very different from his. if i even have a party. but i had a htht with jon when we shared a room (my parents had the other room and kor had to sleep on the couch even though it was his birthday haha).



floorball matches are very exciting events. they make my day very exciting.

tuesday had a super exciting first period. but the best thing about it was that i left my shoebag (which contains all my climbing gear) at cck -.- thankfully shi min's mom was nice enough to get it for me :D :D and then after that had a walks of life walk to sungei buloh(: saw a crocodile!!! so exciting :D as well as various birds, terrapins, water monitors, spiders etc. then dropped off at kranji to go back to cck to retrieve my stuff. and matthew's mom was nice enough to give me a lift to shi min's house. so i got back my stuff, and took a 1.5 hour long journey to farrer park to climb. and climbing was exciting too cos while belaying mr chew, he fell and i shot up. like super epic-ly. provided entertainment for everyone there.

today's match was super exciting. against vj. and eunice scored in the last 10 SECONDS so we drew. super cool. thankfully didnt leave anything behind. and after that was biosoc elections. exciting process. and then, to top it all, jon sat on my phone. now it has black streaks across the screen and if it doesnt go away, i might just have to get a new phone -.- after 3-4 years with me, it doesnt survive my bro.







in the end, all i want is just to be a good person. to add value to society, and not be hated/disliked by (most) people. to make a difference somewhere somehow. i dont think i'd be able to put it in words, if i were to say how i can make a difference in some place or another. but i dont believe that i havent. if you get what i mean.
i cant say either that i'm well-liked by everyone, or that i'm a really nice person; i'm sure there are people who dislike me for some reason or another, and i know i'm not exactly an angel. but still, to live true to my values and be as amicable a person as possible, and do something worth leaving behind, i think that's as much as i can do in this life.


Monday, April 19, 2010

i just finished a book (took me over a week! D:) that my older bro gave to me for my birthday, a really interesting book that brings up lots of interesting concepts. it's called "The Swarm" by Frank Schatzing, and is about... well there's marine ecology in it, it's about an intelligent species of amoeba (single-celled organisms) that lives in the oceans who have been wreaking havoc using marine animals, in a bid to destroy the human race. it talks about human-nature relationships, how we've been polluting the oceans and the earth and now the intelligent amoeba (known as yrr) wants payback by destroying the human race. it talks about how we humans find the idea of sharing the planet with other "intelligent beings" apart from ourselves rather hard to swallow, cos we always perceive ourselves as the top of the food chain, the most important and the only one species who knows everything about anything. it talks about how power-hungry people who are willing to sacrifice anything to reach their own goals. it also has a lot of facts in it i guess, about methane hydrates on the ocean floor potentially providing an energy source in the future (though in the book, the methane hydrates dissociates and causes a landslide that causes a tsunami in europe), about orcas and belugas, other whales and dolphins, about worms, lobsters and crabs, about ocean currents and stuff like.



but anyway, was just reading an article here, about how the Bolivians are running out of the water source cos the glaciers on the Andes mountains are melting due to global warming. and one of the Bolivians commented that it was genocide, the people in industrialised nations causing global warming that was impacting them.
Genocide - the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group, according to dictionary.com
so if all our actions inevitably lead to the extinction of the human race, does it mean we're all perpetrators of genocide?







if we're all gonna die, one day, in the end. and by that i mean the whole human race, then what's the point in anything that we're doing now? i could do some good works now, help someone or making someone's day, to perhaps, leave behind a legacy, and leave behind a better place. but if even that legacy will one day be gone, then what's the point in anything then?

Sunday, April 18, 2010

i'm aching! hasnt happened in such a long time, hmm, i'm getting lazier.

i miss kayaking, really glad for the opportunity to go kayaking, without having to pay too! networking and making personal connections are really quite important social tools, seriously. need to work on it, especially since i think that my default expression is quite dao and unfriendly and yeah, i think i do tend to not make contact with people. if you get what i mean.



and i guess i should be really thankful that i still can go climb/kayak/visit various shores + attend talks. that my parents, while nagging at me about the fact that A levels "kuai dao le", still allow me out of the house. but i think if they didnt, and i just concentrated on hard core studying, i'd just die before june hols.


i suppose something that is really important to everyone is balance. finding the right balance between various non-schoolwork commitments, and studies. and that is probably one thing that people have difficulty finding. it's a real delicate balance i guess. on one hand, doing too much of your passion+interests will inevitably lead your studies to degenerate. unless you're exceptionally smart. and on the other hand, if you just study your life away, then it's bad for your health, both mental and physical, as well as for society in general.




but like most things, finding your balance is never easy.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

now when people ask, "how's life?", i really dont know what to answer. okay i guess.
not exceptionally busy or tiring or anything.

after getting back all the ct papers and everything, it's like we're all now on the train track leading to As. the bad grades and determination to do better, remedials and tuitions and everything. still dont have tuition (nor remedial, thankfully), even though i think almost everyone has some tuition in some subject or another, and that worries me somewhat. will i be able to get through As with As without tuition?


life is now just tutorial after tutorial, rushing to complete tutorials and making sure i sleep early so i dont fall asleep in class. perhaps interspersed with the occasional nature walk or bio-related talk. almost everything will end by may, and perhaps latest mid-june. and i think by then, i'll be very bored of studying.





today was a pretty tiring day. woke up early to reach sch at 6am for walks of life to tanjong rimau, and guiding is no joke. especially not with a group of students who are not unfamiliar with the shore. but most seem to enjoy it, and that's all that matters(:

then rushed over to botanic gardens for a talk on sponges, pretty interesting. unfortunately i dont have much of a memory for many scientific names, it takes me pretty long to remember and be able to identify stuff.

after the talk, walked to rg from botanic gardens, a pretty long walk cos i kinda forgot how to get to rg, but wells, made it in the end. ora was... rather different from previous years i think. many people werent there, due to psychometric test or council camp or competition or something. not too many familiar faces amongst the juniors either, and didnt manage to see many teachers either. and the packing up for op smile was very :/ too.






sighs i really dont know what i'm doing now, i feel like i'm just running on clockwork. wake up, go school, study, do homework, settle admin issues or otherwise with something or another, sleep. not that i'm losing my passion for nature or climbing or anything; i'm determined to continue doing what i like to do all the way till well, as far as i can go, in view of a levels. but i guess with most people busy with season or council or something leaves my life wanting as well. cant wait for everything to be over, though that's just me being selfish.



and i really feel very unsatisfied with myself. not that i regret any decision i've made in the past year; i'm glad for the things i've committed to and was given the opportunity to do. but i think i could have, should have done more and put in more effort and perhaps, helped improved things.

i dont know, but i think there's a chance i'll leave rj feeling like i never accomplished anything.







i miss rg, and i miss osl, and i miss the talks we used to have.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

feeling pretty random. so shall post a random post.

5 random things you may or may not have known about me.
1. i respond to quite a few names (apart from jocelyne/ joce). mainly monkey and chicken. and my parents call me jie jie/mei mei/girl girl.
2. i love barley, especially the grains and not just the drink.
3. i dont really play computer/video/related kind of games.
4. i love chocolate, but i dont eat chocolate cake/chocolate ice cream.
5. i think i'm quite an escapist.




6 weeks more to june hols. prob wouldnt be much of a holiday, but still.



our term as seniors in our ccas is coming to an end soon, in about a months' time or so. but the feeling seems different from 2 years ago. i think, since coming to rj, i've become more slack and less uptight about stuff. maybe it's a good thing, maybe it's a bad thing. but in any case, term is ending. and all i can say is, i hope that i have at least made some (positive) impact somewhere somehow, no matter how small.



and again, just to remind myself:
Success
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty;
To find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, a garden patch or redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


and not so much the grades obtained in school.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

yesterday was a pretty awesome day(: thanks, really. i really appreciate the time taken to write notes/make cards/get stuff/get cake (and bluffing me >:( ) and stuff.


glad biosoc camp went rather well and well, at least people said it was fun(:




and i realise, i never really thought of birthdays as celebrating someone's existence, someone's birth into this world. but now i think about it, yeah that makes birthdays a whole lot more meaningful.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

yep in case you havent realised, i added a tagboard at the side. shall just do a trial run to see if there's a point in having a tagboard (so people can comment on my posts, because there isnt anywhere else to comment). if i think it's too bothersome to reply to tags, or if there are no tags, then i'll prob just remove it forever (:






Jesus Take the Wheel - Carrie Underwood
She was driving last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Going home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the backseat

Fifty miles to go and she was running low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was going way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning
On a thin black sheet of glass

She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared
She threw her hands up in the air

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the backseat
Sleeping like a rock

And for the first time in a long time
She bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been living my life

I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

Jesus, take the wheel
Take it from my hands
Cause I can't do this on my own

I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
To save me from this road I'm on

Oh Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, I'm letting go

So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
From this road I'm on
Jesus, take the wheel
Oh, take it, take it from me
Oh, why, ooh






losing it.

Monday, April 05, 2010

i am glad for the discipline i have to finish most of my homework from thu-sat during our 4-day holiday, leaving me with lots of time to slack on sun and today. though actually i just came home about an hour ago from a dinner with relatives who came from hongkong that i never knew i had. but apparently my ah ma has relatives in hk, spain, us and dno where else, that we all never knew before.



so anyways, since lots of my photos are long overdue (though i'm not too sure exactly who wants to see them. or if people actually have the time), i shall do a brief photo post now. and also because i lack the patience and skill to write nice long posts on the awesome things i saw and stuff like, unlike sean. who has got a very awesome nature blog that everyone should check out (http://ourlittleurbaneden.wordpress.com) because even cool people like ms ria and mr joseph lai checked it out xD


so, in chronological order:

13 mar: went to st john's for some tmsi guiding thing. was doing hunter-seeking actually. was an interesting experience.
some interesting green beetle that refused to let go of the toilet paper that sean put it on.
red berry snail. was in abundance all over the mangrove patch.
the trees there all look pretty sick/dead :/
a mangrove apple, if i'm not wrong.
soldier crab. all over the sand flat (:
the common sea stars there are huge! to me at least. palm-sized D:
cute tube feet that they use to move around.
storm clouds looming over the mainland city area. though they promptly got blown over to st john's :/
yay, limpets and (acorn i think) barnacles! reminds me of dr loo and bio tutorials. limpets are snails while barnacles are crustaceans. barnacles are more related to shrimps.
special find of the day. (no i didnt abuse my phone)
6-armed common sea star (:
bye st john's!




28 mar: seagrass monitoring at chek jawa (:

healthy-looking carpet anemone.
not-so-healthy-looking carpet anemone. and the blur dot in the centre is a water droplet on my lens that i didnt notice :/
what ms ria tells me is a ball sea cucumber. so cute right xD
a sand collar. made by moon snails. they gather sand around them and make it into this collar thing with their eggs in it.
a sand dollar. related to sea stars and sea cucumbers and sea urchins. kay not very focused shot.
a lot of sand dollars :D okay it's obviously arranged by me, but i put them where they belonged after.



2 apr: seagrass monitoring at cyrene reef!!! yay i love cyrene reef! (:

boarding the dinghy to get to the reef!
the sunrise was awesome. really, my photo doesnt do it justice. i love sunrises and sunsets and clear skies and trees and fresh air and wind in my ears(:
pretty peacock anemone! yay so many all over cyrene reef (: they're different from the fan worms that will be seen later in the sentosa post. these are anemone, related to jelly fishes and hydroids and sea fans. they have stinging cells. fan worms are, obviously, worms.
snapping shrimp! a different one from the one i saw at sentosa last time. think i was standing at its burrow cos it didnt move until i moved away then it went into a burrow.

5 spotted anemone shrimp, i think! so cute, it appeared after i poked a bit at the anemone.
the side profile.
elbow crab! havent seen it in a long time.

super cool find of the day/week/month/ or even year! not sure if it has a very common name, but apparently it's known as the dark knobbly. cos it looks like a darker version of the more commonly seen knobbly. was so fascinated by it, i took at least 15 photos of it.
the flip side. with a cute snail on it... for some reason or other..
a juvenile apparently. so small and cute! (:
some crab. swimming i think, maybe flower?
a sea cucumber.
jelly fish. stranded. poor thing.
another sea cucumber. synaptid.
a pair of mating extraordinary sea hare. they're hemaphrodites. meaning they have both male and female sex organs. second time seeing a sea hare.. or sea hares..
colonial anemone/zoanthids. quite in abundance too.
another peacock anemone. this time with white tentacles(:
hairy crab aka teddy bear crab! my favourite (:
knobbly!! so many of them everywhere, i didnt upload all the photos i took of them, cos i'm running out of time. hmm and you can see the seagrasses in the back ground. amazing diversity of flora and fauna on cyrene reef, really. considering it's surrounded by heavy industries stuffs.
flowery soft coral. if i'm not wrong.
close up. looks a bit like cauliflower...
favid hard coral.
some coral i think.
bubble green seaweed. looks a lot like grapes xD
jelly fish!! that's why we wear long pants when out on shore. apparently this one stings nasty D:
at the marina! on the pontoon. vertical reefs. super cool. there's a file fish in this photo too, if i'm not wrong. or might be in some other photo that i didnt upload here. but can find it on facebook.
jellyfish at the marina!
and there's actually one, maybe two cuttlefish in this photo. but doubt you can see it.




and cos i ought to go sleep soon, tanjong rimau (sentosa) photos will have to come another day. and okay, so that wasnt so short a post after all. but only cos there are too many photos :/






different, always.

Saturday, April 03, 2010

while for this term, others are focused on trainings and season and practices and concerts, i think i will probably start on a level prep.


people say that it's possible to do well for a levels even when ct results are not very good. and you hear stories of people who've been busy with everything else save studies during most of their a level year, but still managed to pull off straight As for a levels.


i suppose well yeah that's not impossible. but i guess you could just say that i dont have anything else much better to do apart from study for now. and so my main goal/target/ambition for this term is to complete all my tutorials, write my summaries, and fully understand all my subjects. which is what i somewhat neglected in term 1.





woke up at 5am yesterday to go seagrass monitoring at cyrene reef(: cyrene reef is a mysterious place in singapore, exposed only at really low tides, in the middle of shipping lanes and petrochemical plants. somewhere in the south. where you have to take a 30-min boat ride and a small dinghy before you can touch ground on the patch reef.
it is really an awesome place, with really clear waters (relatively, for singapore) and much biodiversity. watched the sunrise on cyrene, didnt really manage to get awesome photos of it but wells, watching it was good enough. cyrene has an amazing number of species of seagrass, almost 5-6 per transect, when usually it would only be about 2-3. took 1 hour to complete the transect.

saw lots of cool stuff, knobbly sea stars were in abundance as always, saw a somewhat rarer Pentaceraster sea star, sea cucumbers, a pair of sea hare, corals and crabs.


and then this morning woke up at 6am to go tanjong rimau at sentosa. tide was really awesomely low, and saw some cool stuff as well, though not as many as cyrene (duh). flatworms, fan worms, bristleworms were aplenty, various snails too. place was covered with algae. saw a pretty nudibranch too. managed to walk round the headland, from rasa sentosa site to the underwater world site. but we were too lazy to walk all the way to underwater world, so we clambered up a slope and appeared in fort siloso. which was apparently not open to public yet. and rasa sentosa also refused us entry to get our stuff that we left on shore. but obviously we had to get our stuff. so in all, we trespassed on private property about thrice. whoops.



and i realise i still havent uploaded my st johns photos from 3 weeks ago? and chek jawa photos from last sunday, from seagrass monitoring as well. so my camera is chock full of various marine organisms from various places xD but too lazy to upload photos now, so photos will have to wait.





was nice catching up with soff shaina and roy today, who knows when the next time we go out again may be, what with season and council stuff. (: though it was just for a while.





cos He's always there for us, He loves us so much that He died for us (that's what Good Friday is about, mainly), and we should trust in Him. whatever it is, just pray, and your heart will be lightened. let Him take care of everything, trust that everything will go well. do what you can, and just leave the rest to Him. for He has an ultimate plan for all of us. a reason for everything.