In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Monday, May 31, 2010

last week of school had quite a lot of stuff happening.

just as the Gulf of Mexico has an oil spill (kay it's not just a spill, more like a spring or sth), we now have one to call our own :/ although thankfully it's a lot milder than the one there. but in any case, i hope the impact isnt too huge, and it wont be too lasting. and that the spill wont spread! to read of all the deaths is very saddening, though there seem to be signs of hope too!


gp ct was :/ hard. but at least it is one down.



and apart from the oil spill, been having quite an awesome past few days (:

thu last day of term 2(: had lunch with sihui and liang si at novena square. they're crazy people. we ate at pastamania before proceeding to b&j and then they still had room for prata. but novena's pastamania and b&J is not nice. food quite sucky. and after that went hunting for meal worms, before rushing back to school for macritchie walk. learned quite a few things. went back to school for the remainder of biosoc's last session (for j2s. in my term.) and since it was the last session, went for dinner with biosoc. and was called blonde -.- but in any case, it was nice having dinner with them.
and though quite a few people ask me why i joined biosoc, it's actually really quite fun(:



fri first day of hols, almost. had floorball outing, was quite fun. saw biscuit star and weird polychaetes and horseshoe crab mating. seems like the oil spill hadnt affect that stretch of shore too much. lots of stranded jellyfish though. and there were quite a lot of white-throated kingfishers about too. had a pretty fun time getting burnt in the sun(: lunch was awesome, and so was playing captain's ball with fruits. though it was quite a waste of food :/ then went for fat fish friday, some east district church event. was pretty interesting i guess, though i was quite zonked through it :/

then read something that really makes a lot of sense.
Our mental state is a good barometer of our prayer power. The more into the uptight zone our barometer needle goes, the less we are trusting in God. And the less we trust God, the wimpier our prayers become. So now that we know this, how do we increase our prayer power? It seems unlikely that we who are mere mortals will ever totally stop worrying.
Anxiety and worry and fear and doubt are sins; they diminish our relationship with the all-loving, all-powerful God. During Mass, as we pray silently in agreement with the presiding priest at the end of the "Our Father" prayer, we ask God to "free us from all anxiety." So why do we go home and start worrying?

The answer: We look at the evidence of what is going bad instead of looking at God who is always good. We trust this "evidence" more than we trust God.




saturday was packed but full of awesome fun(:
tanjong rimau in the morning, quite possibly one of the last few trips down to a shore before A levels. definitely the last with school at least. saw a seahorse, how cool is that?!? :D and though i think we may not have seen as many stuff as we did the last time, i think it was still pretty cool, and i hope that Walks of Life managed to "convert" some people (: shall post photos some other time... along with photos of the previous time :P
after that rushed down to Dempsey Hill for Operation Smile's carwash carnival. that wasnt very fun, but i hope organisation improved after my shift, and anyway had a super nice lunch with parents and bro (and sihui) to "make up" for it (:
spent the rest of the afternoon with a bunch of cool people at a really awesome place.
and went super high in the evening. i think i provided much amusement and entertainment. ah wells it's been pretty long since i was that high. all i can say is, i'm glad i dont live in bukit panjang, or anywhere near there :P



sunday was a day of rest. but went cycling with family in the evening. could see some oil sheen at ecp, and the smell was somewhat there still i think. saw a moon crab flailing about at the surface of the water, dont know why it was doing that :/



today was a very zonked out day for me. but managed to start studying, so it's not all that wasted. and my mom took leave, so we went for a picnic dinner at kent ridge park. then went for a short walk. lots of birds were about, after the light rain.




think i've had a pretty good start to the hols already, now i just have to start studying and keep at it T.T





how would you know, if you never tried?

Sunday, May 23, 2010

as you grow older, life gets more complex. why? is it because we think more? or do more things happen?


You'll Ask For Me - Tyler Hilton
What was that about the ballroom dancing class I asked about
It's all I thought about cuz you were saying
We might get a chance to talk and talk might lead to dancing
maybe dance might lead to dates dates to aging

Hope you let your intuition
precede my reputation
cause i have one

Well I am what you see
I am not what they say
but if I turned out to be
could you love me anyway
I'm standing anonymous
hoping your heart
will just wake up and ask for me by name
Maybe someday you will ask for me by name
just not today

Well if this is love then it's hard to say
but the notes in your books and your reaching away
and I've Confidence issues with your intentions
And I'm not hip to all of your tricks
but your algebra your politics
and the band has planned a hotel intervention

So don't you leave me by my lonesome
to exceed my reputation
cause i have one

Well I am what you see
I am not what they say
but if I turned out to be
could you love me anyway
Standing anonymous
hoping your heart
will just wake up to ask for me by name
Maybe someday you will ask for me by name
just not today

I'm always here
I've walked you home
and headed for my own
until again i'm needed

Well I am what you see
I am not what they say
but if I turned out to be
could you love me anyways

I am what you see
I am not what they say
but if I turned out to be
could you love me anyway
Standing anonymous
hoping your heart
we'll just wake up and ask for me by name
Maybe someday you will ask for me by name
just not today

Not today




last week of the second term. just a bit more to go. but then again, so much more to go.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

the past week(s) been pretty :/, with rj losing quite a few finals/semis. honestly, i have never felt so much for the school -- i never really used to care about whether rj/rg won or lost their matches. but maybe because it's my final year, or that my friends (or at least people i know) are the ones who are captains of the cca, i actually felt something when we won or loss a match.

but in spite of everything, i think raffles is still pretty amazing. today's sports section featured jo ho and cheng chia regarding raffles girls' soccer, as well as han ren on tennis, and i think the reports in the past week also had stuff about rj. i cant say i really know how it feels to be in a sports cca, cant really say i'm in a sports cca, but wells. i think they tried their best, and that's mostly what matters.




and the past week also had lots of stuff on Dr Goh Keng Swee. i guess like most other people my age, i dont really know much about him, or that he was a founding father or that he contributed greatly to modern Singapore. i quite agree with some opinions featured in ST that we should learn more about our founding fathers in social studies in school. like how we learned about wwII heroes like lim bo seng and adnan saidi and elizabeth choy, shouldnt there be a chapter on our founding fathers that feature people like dr goh and rajaratnam and all the other people (whom i dont know)?
and i do think it's really amazing, how he managed to do as much as he did in the finance, education and cultural aspects (and probably a lot more that i missed out), because though i guess he faced a lot of problems, singapore being in its fledging years, i think it'll be very hard for anyone in this era to achieve as much as he did.

which leads me to think about why is it that singapore has had the fortune to have so many awesome leaders (i totally sound like a PAP member. i think the govt has done a wonderful NE job on me.), while our neighbouring countries face so much problems politically. i guess for one, the countries are a lot bigger and the people are um, more politically active than we are. but i do think it's quite sad that thailand is facing so much internal problems, as well as many other countries in the region. why dont people see that it's so much better if we can all live peacefully and happily with everyone? i'm a bit idealistic and maybe naive, i know, but i just dont get why people cant live peacefully with each other, respecting all life and well, not create more problems.


and moving on about respecting all life, today's the international day of biodiversity! not that many people really care much i guess, but still. i dont actually know why i care so much about biodiversity and conservation and the environment. humans actually depend a lot on the environment and biodiversity to survive, and if we dont protect it, we'll die out as a species. i know that and i accept that and i really do think that we are going to die out soon. and while whatever damage that we have done to the environment is gonna be terrible, i believe that Nature has a way of healing itself. the environment will be okay in the long run, while we will have died out. so i dont know why i really care so much. but i guess i'm just awed by it and amazed by its beauty and intricate connections. and i just want everyone to be able to appreciate it.

and so, to people who love sushi especially raw tuna:
Bluefin tuna are remarkable creatures, able to dive to 3,000ft and migrate thousands of miles each year across the ocean. Since the second world war, industrialised fishing techniques and growing fleets of large fishing vessels have steadily reduced the population of these ocean giants, bringing them precariously close to collapse. Only about 41,000 reproductively mature bluefin are left in the western Atlantic, down from about 222,600 in 1970.

and this is just one of many problems.





i wish world problems could be solved by a single prayer. that all poverty (did you know that African kids eat mud to satiate their hunger! :/), war and terror, and environmental issues will be gone if we'd pray hard enough.






Changi (the place where i got 38 sandfly bites)
sand bubbler crab.
pink thorny sea cucumber.
huge ghost crab.
some anemone.
sunrise.





sometimes, we should focus less on ourselves, and more on the world around us. after all, who are we in the big scheme of things?

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

This Is Your Life - Switchfoot
Yesterday is a wrinkle on your forehead
Yesterday is a promise that you've broken
Don't close your eyes, don't close your eyes
This is your life and today is all you've got now
Yeah, and today is all you'll ever have
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Yesterday is a kid in the corner
Yesterday is dead and over

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be?
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes
Don't close your eyes

This is your life are you who you want to be?
This is your life are you who you want to be?

This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, are you who you want to be?
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

And you had everything to lose





well i guess that was that. proud that raffles floorball has come this far, and even though i still wonder why i joined floorball in the first place, i'm still glad i did(:








will we look back on these two years with any regrets?

Friday, May 14, 2010

the hardest thing to do:


Friendship with God

Servanthood is an essential part of true Christian living. Jesus emphasized it during the Last Supper, saying that he came not to be served, but to serve, and that likewise, in following him, we should serve one another. Why? Because service is an act of true love. In today's Gospel reading, he describes love as the ultimate gift of service: laying down one's life for one's friends.

As he has loved us, so we should love others. He has served us by explaining the truths of God's kingdom. He has served us by lifting up the lowly. He has served us by answering our prayers. He has served us by taking the blame for our sins. He has served us by making sacrifices.

To remain in his love, he says, we have to love as he loves, even to the point of making sacrifices for one another. Loving others is not always convenient or pleasant. Loving others does not always fit into our agendas. But the more difficult it is, the more like Jesus we become – that is, IF we choose the path of love.

We love others when we explain the truths of God's kingdom, not as a way to condemn them but to offer them healing and hope. We love others when we lift up the lowly, reaching out to the marginalized and the under-served. We love others by being available for Jesus to answer their prayers through us. We love others by doing good to those who sin against us. We love others by making personal sacrifices when Jesus says, "Follow Me to the Cross."

Sometimes we do acts of love more out of love for God than love for the person we're serving. If so, are we truly loving God? Or are we merely being the obedient slaves of a kind Master? In his parables, Jesus often referred to believers as "servants" of the Kingdom. So why does he say in verse 15 that he wants us to be his friends instead of slaves? Is he contradicting himself?

Not at all! A servant of God's Kingdom can be either a slave or a friend. Friends serve each other because they care, which comes from genuine love. Slaves serve out of obedience, which comes from a sense of duty and obligation and the fear of punishment if they fail.

Are you obeying God as his slave or as his friend? One clue to the answer is whether or not you complain about the things you do for love. Jesus never grumbled about the long hours he worked helping people. He never complained about the Pharisees. He never told the Apostles that the Father wasn't being fair in what he asked of him.

How strong is your friendship with God? How would you define it? He defines it by how you treat his friends.

--> reflection of today's Gospel readings.







to love others as you love yourself.



because you may just get mistaken in your intentions.





long weekend! (: with lecture tests right after -.-

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Gifts from the Spirit of Truth

In today's Gospel reading, Jesus assures us that we have been given the Holy Spirit to teach us what we need to know and to help us recognize the truth. To better understand how this happens, let's consider the seven sanctifying gifts of the Spirit, as listed in Isaiah 11:2-3.

Wisdom: The wisdom of God is contrary to the wisdom of the world. The Holy Spirit's gift of wisdom helps us to detach from the world and to cherish only what's heavenly. This wisdom, when used in everyday life, enlivens us in the ways of Christ. We find pleasure in what's holy.

Understanding: What don't you like about a Church teaching? What is doubtful about the ways of faith? Ask the Holy Spirit for understanding and you will be enlightened. You will increasingly gain a fuller awareness of the wisdom in Church teachings and a stronger sense about the truths of the faith, of God's love, of his plans for you, etc.

Counsel: Are you uncertain about a decision you need to make? Do you feel hesitant in the choices you're facing? Are you full of doubts about the future? The Holy Spirit wants to guide you and instruct you so that you can make the best decisions. My favorite prayer for this is: "Lord, open doors of opportunities in the way I should go, and close all doors that lead elsewhere." And he does!

Fortitude: Are you growing weary from trials? The Holy Spirit gives us supernatural courage to persist and overcome obstacles and difficulties. From this we learn that we really can trust Jesus and reach a good end despite how bad and lengthy the problems seem to be.

Knowledge: The Holy Spirit directs us to the right paths and the right solutions, even supernaturally if necessary. Watch carefully; the Spirit of Truth is pointing out the dangers to avoid and the goals to reach. Listen to the songs, the scriptures, and the people that God puts "coincidentally" into your day. If their message seems familiar, because the Holy Spirit has already been speaking it to your heart, trust it and proceed with confidence.

Piety: Do you have a desire to embrace a life of holiness and to imitate Christ? This desire comes straight from the Holy Spirit as you learn how to respond to every situation with holy actions and attitudes.

Fear of the Lord: Respect for God feels instinctive, doesn't it? That's because it's purely a gift from the Holy Spirit. Fear of the Lord is a profound respect for his perfect holiness. The more enlivened our relationship with the Spirit is, the more we loathe the idea of offending the Lord whom we love so dearly.

Here's a prayer for increasing these gifts:

Come, Holy Spirit, and renew the face of the earth through me.
Fill me with Your life and Your grace,
that my soul may be sanctified.
Increase in me the gift of holy wisdom,
that I may use wisely the gifts You have given me.
Increase in me the gift of understanding,
that I may hear and respond to Your call.
Increase in me the gift of Your good counsel,
that I may always follow God's will.
Increase in me the gift of knowledge,
that I may grow in holiness by knowing God and myself more fully.
Increase in me the gift of love, that I may serve as Christ's hands and feet and voice
sharing Your love with everyone I meet today.
Come, Holy Spirit! Renew the face of the earth through me!
Amen.


--> a reflection of today's Gospel reading






floorball girls made it into finals :)






the worst feeling of all is not disappointment, or regret. it's helplessness. not being able to do anything to help relieve others' pain.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

climb x 2010 was not bad i guess, considering everything.



there's like so much going on now, and yet there's nothing going on. dont think i make sense but wells.



i dont feel like i'll ever be prepared for a levels. so much to study and memorise and know at the tips of your fingers.




and sandfly bites are freaking annoying, i cant believe i'm the only one who got it badly. 38 bites. oh joy. and one week later, they're still there. though much better than before.







dinner and rock concert with soff ytd was nice. and dinner with shaina too. (: season's ending soon (hopefully not that early), and june hols are coming. yay hopefully can meet up more(:





i need to plan out my life from now till As.





I Hope You Dance - Lee Ann Womack
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
GOD forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin' might mean takin' chances, but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance..
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone)

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

all i can say for now is, i miss the times i had in rg.



7 months more to the end of a levels, exactly.



how much more will happen between now and then? how much more will change? and what happens after that?




dont think too much.

Saturday, May 01, 2010

changi has wayy too many sandflies >:( i've got like, 15 bites on each arm. it's itchy and annoying and really gross.

but today was a pretty awesome day(: changi beach has lots of pretty stuff (photos will come up with all the rest that i havent been uploading since forever)

went to some vegan restaurant to celebrate daddy's birthday (: the food is really quite nice, and doesnt look vegan at all. then had some really expensive cake. which was very nice as well.



21 Guns - Green Day
Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away
And you feel yourself suffocating?

Does the pain weigh out the pride?
And you look for a place to hide?
Did someone break your heart inside?
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul

Your faith walks on broken glass
And the hangover doesn't pass
Nothing's ever built to last
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I

Did you try to live on your own
When you burned down the house and home?
Did you stand too close to the fire
Like a liar looking for forgiveness from a stone?

When it's time to live and let die
And you can't get another try
Something inside this heart has died
You're in ruins

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky

One, 21 guns
Lay down your arms, give up the fight
One, 21 guns
Throw up your arms into the sky, you and I




why do people like to make their lives so complicated?