from hot tropical sun to sub zero temperatures, from tees and shorts to 3 layers of clothes, beanies, gloves and scarf.

but i love the feeling of whizzing down the slope :D :D it's like the wind-in-your-face feeling when you're cycling or on the boat. only the wind's really really cold. but i'm proud to say i went up really really high today. like it took us (my cousin, older bro and i) one hour plus to get down. including falling down and resting time :P cos it was so freaking steep. we decided to take that chair lift only cos the other one we meant to take was closed.

am so glad the chalet (that my extended family comprising my aunt and her two kids, my parents, brothers and i, and another cousin are staying in) has free wifi xD

quite funny too. cos you can totally see everyone (the kids) on facebook every night. everyone except my brothers.

gonna try snow boarding tomorrow hehe.

my mom and i and the evil snowman that the both of us plus my younger bro and dad built at the back of our chalet.

barely back, and i'm heading off again. this time to freezing cold Hokkaido.

and when i come back, it'll no longer be 2010.

this past year flew past really fast, and so many things happened. from orientation for j1s, to h3 report and presentation, to season, to field trips, to endless studying and more studying and the final A levels and everything else in between.

not reminiscing much cos well, i dont want to go back to all that studying, and i've just been rushing from one place to another, rushing from doing one thing to another that i barely have time to sit back and really really reflect. in any case i think i've already somewhat accepted it. no more going back to school.

i just need to clear all the rj stuff from my room and tables and pack them into neat boxes and hide them somewhere.

and perhaps, i wont see some people again, but i guess i'll still see some others. we cant all stay status quo i guess. and already, things are changing.

when i come back, it'll be a whole new year, i'll have to find something to occupy my time with, and hopefully there'll still be time to meet up with some people. before everything changes. or maybe i'm too paranoid. maybe nothing's gonna change. in a sense.

hope yall had a great 2010, and well, till next year then.

and one last thing. Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year (:

sitting in front of my laptop, trying to do uni apps, i realise i really miss krabi.

woke up today and dawdled around in bed, refusing to get up. something i havent been able to do the past 10 days. and the room is empty, the house is empty. all silence. apart from the little kids screaming outside my house.

it was really an awesome, carefree 10 days. carefree in the sense that i didnt worry about uni, or about jobs, or about anything. only perhaps that our cuts would get infected, that someone would eat something wrong and get diarrhea, or that equipment would get missing, or that the resort would charge us extra for squeezing in too many people.

but now you're back in singapore and everything comes back. though only for a while, cos i'm a very fortunate girl. just need to grit my teeth and do it, and in two days' time it'll be over.

on an entirely unrelated note, i celebrate christmas, but i dont really do christmas gifts and cards. i hope i show my care and concern for people in more ways other than gifts and cards during certain occasions, not to say that people who give gifts and cards are insincere about them. maybe i'm just finding excuses to not go through all the trouble :/

and i'm just blogging to delay having to deal with uni apps.

backk from krabi! was an awesome trip, learnt new words and had great fun. company was great and the past 10 days passed too fast.

a lot of firsts; dont judge me because of them.

but no, i didnt drink excessively, nor ingested things that i shouldnt.

it's quite funny, how different groups may perceive me differently. ah wells.

not gonna ramble on a day-to-day account of what happened; too much to say, and well i dont see the need to publish to the world.

tired much, but there's US uni apps to settle T.T 2 days to chiong it out else i'll be giving US a miss altogether. not that i really mind but mom is insistent.

life from now on is gonna get really really different. for once i see nothing in the year ahead. a blank slate, for me to fill in. no school. dont know what i'm gonna do.

trust in Him that all is gonna work out fine(:

it's just kinda sad to know that change is inevitable, and time just moves on relentlessly.

have had a packed week. not that i am complaining much.

mostly outings and gatherings, to see people one last time in this year. hopefully will keep in touch(:

not very coherent now. it's been a long day.

i wonder, why is death usually taken to be a sad thing? not that i'm happy when someone dies; i'm just wondering. for the sake of questioning and inquiry and whatever. are we mourning the loss of someone who was very awesome in life, an asset that is now "lost"? or are we sad for the family of the deceased, that they now have to get by with one family member short? or?

but what if the person had been in a lot of pain and suffering for a long time before death, death is in fact, some sort of liberation, should not death then bring more relief than sorrow?

and besides, as Christians, we believe that death is not the end of life; it merely brings you to the next stage, where you receive eternal life. or something along those lines. we believe in life after death, going to heaven, free from pain and suffering, welcomed into God's arms. after all, is that not the whole point of Christianity? to be saved from hell, and to receive eternal life.

i think the most fundamental difference between all religions, is not how to treat other fellow humans. i think all religion tell their followers to be good people, do good works, help others and be nice. but the difference comes in what comes after death. maybe that's why Christianity appeals to people, cos it gives the assurance that hey, life after death is better. we'll be with God, in heaven, rested and in peace. it makes death, perhaps not more appealing, but at least not something to fear. as compared to, i'm not too sure bout this, but buddhism or taoism? or some other Chinese belief, in the 18 levels of hell or something. like, after death, there'll just be more suffering.

and it's reassuring, not just to people looking at imminent death, but also the living relatives. prayer and hymns and all, they all make one feel better.

i'm really sleepy now, and i wont be here again till, 23 dec maybe. take care friends (:

mainly, i'm here cos i cant sleep. not that i dont want to - i really want to - but i really cant. maybe cos there are so many things to do, maybe cos there are so many things to think about.

many many things, my brain cant hold all of them.

but anw, i realise i wish i could go back to the night before, and take more photos. missed taking some photos, and i just wish that i took those photos. with people who had been in my life the past 6 years, or 2.

dont know why i somewhat regret not taking; after all, i cant quite say for sure that we would still be in touch after this. taking a photo with someone is no promise that we'll keep in touch, but it seems to mean that hey we are still friends and we will be friends (forever?).

it's gonna be a pretty packed schedule for the one last week left in singapore, but i guess maybe hopefully, we'll still have time next year.

i think i'm really gonna miss school. not having a school to which i belong to now, is just weird. if that's not gramatically right, dont kill me. not gonna see most of the people again. no more lessons and homework suits me fine, but i think it's just quite sad that well. i'm not gonna be seeing/meeting/saying hi/smiling to most people again. probably not, at least.

ah wells. life goes on i guess.

so many things happened between the last post and now.

1. As ended. no more bcmegp again. i dont want to think about As anymore, cos the more i think about it, the more i think i'll get all Bs.

2. watched harry potter. not very nice. never really liked hp movies. but well it's more for the company (:

3. SATs. whatever it's over. dont really want to go us anw.

4. rmbr open house. spent half the day before SATs at RMBR (raffles museum of biodiversity research) and well was quite fun i guess. filled with little kids but yeah. quite cool.

5. dinner the night before SATs till nearly 10pm. really starting to treat exams rather flippantly but well glad wont have much exams for a long time. company was fun and well, looking forward to krabi already (:

6. seagrass monitoring at semakau. the day before gradnight. didnt explore the shore much but just being out there was awesome enough (:

7. and between the 2nd last paper and today, shopping for gradnight. dedications to the following people:

sihui, thanks for going shopping with me, from centrepoint to far east to dhoby exchange/plaza sing to city square mall the first day, then tampines (comprising tampines one, tampines mall and century square) and bugis on the third day, then tampines again today(: you're really awesome.

soff and roy, for going with me to ion and wisma, even though the dresses you pointed out werent all that awesome but you guys are (:

shaina and liangsi, for going with me to 313@somerset, taka, far east, then all the way to tampines, and for liangsi, to bugis as well. esp shaina, since you werent going for gradnight anw. thanks for being awesome people(:

really haha i'm as picky about dresses as i am about food, and you guys are just simply amazing to be willing to go around with me looking for a dress to wear for one night. i actually got two dresses. one in bugis out of desperation, and the other in tampines the morning of gradnight.

and the 8th and last event is obviously gradnight itself. food wasnt awesome but well. might have had more fun at cyrene with seagrasses, but it wasnt too bad. seeing most of the people for the last time i guess, quite a funny feeling really. like you know you're prob never gonna see that person again, and you take a photo, then what? but i guess with facebook and stuff now, even if you dont see the person around personally again, more or less will still keep in touch. maybe.

was quite sad, towards the end. that everything in jc is finally over, whether good or bad. not belonging to any school now is weird. and perhaps more practically, it means no more student concessions, ie no more cheap bus/train fare.

no photos, cos my compact ran out of batt and i forgot to take my kor's camera out of the car, but photos will be up on facebook so wells. and cos i promised to advertise, if anyone wants to know, i did my hair and make up (along with sihui siling and liangsi) at The Hair Secrets at eastpoint (simei). if you need to do whatever it is for whatever reason, can go check it out. quite a neat place. took 13 pins to keep my hair in place, if anyone cares. and i gave up wearing heels at the end and walked down the flight of stairs barefooted. heels are retarded. hopefully in the future i'll need to wear them only about maybe twice a year. and i went about the whole night with contacts in only one eye. haha but no matter what, this time was definitely better than the last.

and actually what i really want to know is, who on earth put my name down. if you know, please tell me thank you very much!

tired out, cos i woke up early in the morning after dreaming that i missed my bus stop. but make up removal is in my parents' room and they're asleep so. maybe i'll just wake up looking like someone punched my eyes.