In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit if you're interested in more recent writing.

Friday, January 07, 2011

now i'm really aching, my arms and my legs, from whatever i've been doing the past week while in singapore.

i cannot imagine how i managed to climb decently well last time. i'm climbing so horribly now, i just cannot believe that i used to be able to climb somewhat hard routes with a bit of effort. cos now i just cannot do them, for lack of endurance or strength. gonna take so much more climbing to be able to do hard routes again, and i dont know if i have the time.

so many things to think about now. many things open to me, and yet, very few. i really dont know what will happen in the end, but i believe God will guide me to make the best choice. really quite conflicted.

but for now, i'm going off again, to bangkok. take some time to reflect and think about what i really want this year and just relax, before i come back and have to really start earning money to do what i want to do.

and today was rj open house. went back, not intentionally for open house but wells. wasnt that crowded, and i think the money spent by the school on openhouse was way too much, much more than necessary. especially since there werent that many people around.

really, city living removes most people from sustainable living, because you dont see the point in living sustainably, in living in an environmentally-friendly way. excuse me if my english doesnt make sense, because i'm a bit sleepy and my brain kinda woozy. but yeah i think you get my point. we dont see the animals getting killed so we get our meat, we dont have to do much to get our electricity and other energy sources so we dont see the point in switching off appliances when not in use, we dont see how much resources goes into making unnecessary products and where all those rubbish go to so we dont really think twice before buying stuff. and the list can go on, i'm sure.
and i'm guilty of it too. with my really high carbon footprint generated from all the flying around :/ i might need to fund the reforestation of an entire forest.

humans cant live for too long like this. for all our intelligence, i dont understand why is it that the important people up there cannot see this and understand it. the earth is fine, it doesnt need saving. it was fine before we appeared, it is fine while we are here, though admittedly we changed the way it is very markedly in a way that probably no other species has been able to, and it will be fine after we disappear. because we are the ones that need the earth, not the other way round. we wont be able to live when everything that can be harvested from the earth has been extracted, refined and made into useless rubbish that is sitting in all our developed countries' homes. i guess this is quite against the christian creationist view or something, the pov that earth was made for humans and for us to use. i'm not saying that the bible is wrong or whatever, i believe that God made this world. but i'm sure we're not supposed to abuse it. sighs maybe i'm just getting myself into a debate that i dont really want to be involved in. cos i dont see the point of it.

it's just that i wish the world could live the way i envision a perfect world to be. only yes i know i'm an idealist and naive and whatever. a world where everyone is at peace and living sustainably and there arent too many people and people are in tuned with nature. know what nature does for us and know the nature around us. cos thinking that monitor lizards are komodo dragons is really quite sad. though of course there are many other stories that are equally amusing yet saddening. singapore education fail.

Only Hope - Switchfoot
There's a song that's inside of my soul
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake and in the infinite cold
But You sing to me over and over and over again

So I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know You're my only hope

You sing to me of the song of the stars
Of Your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again
When it feels like my dreams are so far
You sing to me of the plans that You have for me over again

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours
I know You're my only hope

I give You my empathy, I'm giving You all of me
I want Your symphony singing in all that I am
At the top of my lungs I'm giving it back

And I lay my head back down
And I lift my hands and pray to be only Yours
I pray to be only Yours, I pray to be only Yours
I know You're my only hope

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