In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Friday, March 07, 2014

Life's for the living.

I probably shouldn't be complaining, but this few weeks have been rather disconcerting. I have not been given quite as much work as I think I should be, and while that's kinda nice for now, it seriously worries me that I'll be super unprepared for exams. So with the worryingly few essays that I've been set to write (none, the past weekend and the coming one), I've instead been spending my time trying to read up on vertebrate evolution and biology (for animal biology) and revise some Spanish (for my exam tomorrow/Mon). But as with whenever I have too much free time on my hands (not rushing for meetings/deadlines etc), I end up sleeping quite a bit (at least 8 hours a day!) and feeling homesick.

I miss home. I miss my family, my home, my friends. There are times when I start to wonder if my friends are still my friends, times when I wonder if my family misses my presence, times when I wonder why I don't go home more often.

I keep contemplating life now, and life in the future. What do I do after I graduate? It seems far, and yet I know the time will come very soon. I want to go back, yet I want to work overseas (for some time) as well. I fear that some day, home will no longer be home. That Singapore will no longer be a home for me, that I will be somewhat homeless, just drifting about. Perhaps all these fears are unfounded, and I'm just being overly melancholic.


Watched this short film by Singaporean film-maker Daniel Yam, and it just made me really, really sad (cried buckets).




Life's for the Living - Passenger
Well grey clouds wrapped round the town like elastic
Cars stood like toys made of Taiwanese plastic
The boy laughed at the spastic dancing around in the rain
While laundrettes cleaned clothes, high heals rub toes
Puddles splashed huddles of bus stop crows
Dressed in their suits and their boots well they all look the same

I took myself down to the cafe to find all the boys lost in books and crackling vinyl
And carved out a poem above the urinal that read
Don’t you cry for the lost
Smile for the living
Get what you need and give what you’re given
Life’s for the living so live it
Or you’re better off dead

While the evening pulled the moon out of it’s packet
Stars shone like buttons on an old man’s jacket
We needed a nail but we tacked it ’til it fell of the wall

While pigeon’s pecked trains, sparks flew like planes
The rain showed the rainbows in the oil stains
And we all had new iPhones but no one had no one to call

And I stumbled down to the stomach of the town
Where the widow takes memories to slowly drown
With a hand to the sky and a mist in her eye she said
Don’t you cry for the lost
Smile for the living
Get what you need and give what you’re given
Life’s for the living so live it
Or you’re better off dead

Well I’m sick of this town, this blind man’s forage
They take your dreams down and stick them in storage
You can have them back son when you’ve paid off your mortgage and loans
Oh hell with this place, I’ll go it my own way
I’ll stick out my thumb and I trudge down the highway
Someday someone must be going my way home

Till then I’ll make my bed from a disused car
With a mattress of leaves and a blanket of stars
And I’ll stitch the words into my heart with a needle and thread
Don’t you cry for the lost
Smile for the living
Get what you need and give what you’re given
You know life’s for the living so live it
Or you’re better off dead

Don’t you cry for the lost
Smile for the living
Get what you need and give what you’re given
Life’s for the living so live it
Or you’re better off dead

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous1:59 am

    don't be sad - of course family and friends miss you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Aww haha thanks for the reassurance, whoever you may be (:

    ReplyDelete