In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at http://natureramble.wordpress.com.

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit jocelynesze.wordpress.com if you're interested in more recent writing.

Thursday, April 09, 2015

celebrating time.

The time comes round again, as it does without fail every year, when I add another year to my age and people send well-wishes. This time, I'm not on a field trip, and I'm not at home with my family - a first for me.

People seem to always send well-wishes along with a reminder of your age, as though one can't remember how many years on earth one has spent. To be fair, I sometimes confuse my own age, adding an extra year ahead of time. Perhaps that's why I always feel old, even though I offend many when I say that. But I realise people seldom say they feel young, especially people around my age. I think that's because how you feel is based on your life experiences thus far, and societal expectations. And you've only experienced the past; you can't experience the future. So I'm past my teens, and I feel like I can no longer behave like a teen, but I've only ever known the experience of being a child/teen. So I feel old, compared to all the people around me (who are usually younger than me). But I hope, once I've spent a couple more decades, that I will feel young, because I live as though I'm still in my 20s.

I guess we celebrate time, anniversaries, as an occasion to remember and reflect the path we've tread, to celebrate our earthly life. I'm tremendously glad and grateful that I have people who remember this somewhat random day, especially when I'm reminded that there are many others out there who don't have the same fortune. It recently occurred to me that, for all that I don't put on makeup or bother dressing up very much, I am still as vain as the next person, though perhaps wanting to look good is just a natural trait of humans and there is nothing wrong with it as long as it does not consume my entire being. It also occurred to me that, though I don't aspire to fame or riches for myself or own desires, I really do want to make a positive difference in this world in as big as possible a way. I am reminded though, to always pray for God's grace and mercy, that I never lose compassion or kindness to others, and never forget that we live not for things of this earth, but for eternal life in heaven.

Living overseas and spending a lot of my time alone made me reflect much more than perhaps I would have if I studied back home. And I realise that for all I define myself as someone who really cares about the natural world (and people who have no voice), and enjoys climbing and hiking, and really wants to do something useful in society, and am perhaps sometimes seen to be atypical and different from the average person, I am still pretty much just like a typical anyone who would fit that profile. And that was a lot of waffle that meant absolutely nothing, just like that famous Southeast Asian phrase 'same same but different'. Anyway, I have my project report to do, and I will get round to blogging about my trips (to Scotland and to Sweden) at some point.

Something worth leaving behind - Lee Ann Womack
Hey Monalisa, who was Leonardo?
Was he Andy Warhol? Were you Marilyn Monroe?
Hey Mozart, what kind of name is Amadeus?
It's kinda like Elvis, you gotta die to be famous

I may not go down in history
I just want someone to remember me

I'll probably never hold a brush that paints a masterpiece
Probably never find a pen that writes a symphony
But if I will love then I will find that I have touched another life
And that's something, something worth leaving behind

Hey Midas, you say you have the magic touch
But even all that shiny stuff someday is gonna turn to dust
Hey Jesus, it must have been some Sunday morning
In a blaze of glory, we're still tellin' your story

I may not go down in history
I just want someone to remember me

I'll probably never dream a dream and watch it turn to gold
I know I'll never lose my life to save another soul
But, if I will love then I will find that I have touched another life
And that's something, something worth leaving behind

Hey baby, see the future that we're building
Our love lives on in the lives of our children
And that's something
Something worth leaving behind




NB: Though I'm not on field trip this year, this post is still a scheduled one cos I'm a good girl now who sleeps early and wakes up early ;P

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