In brief...

I'm a Nature-lover, aspiring conservationist, and wannabe traveller in search of outdoor adventure.
My interests vary from conservation to education to heritage to Nature (biodiversity & wildlife) to outdoor activities to life in general.
They occupy most of my waking moment.
Do read my blogs, follow me on Twitter (@jocelynesze) and friend me on Facebook (subject to my discretion). Visit my Nature blog, Nature Rambles, at

UPDATE 2 Apr 2017 - This site is no longer maintained, please visit if you're interested in more recent writing.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Praying for humanity.

So I was out of contact when the Paris news broke. I was on a camping/climbing trip with some friends in Dorset from Fri night till now, and didn't have any mobile reception at all (which caused other issues with my family, cos I forgot to tell them I might be out of contact and they got worried sick. I'm so sorry :( ), but one of my friends went to visit her relative on Saturday and heard about the Paris attacks and told us yesterday. Sitting under the open, cloudy skies, listening to huge waves crash right below us, feeling the sea breeze on our faces though, it's so hard to truly imagine what was happening in Paris, and in the rest of the connected world. And I promptly put all thoughts of terrorist attacks and hatred and unhappiness in this world out of my mind. Coming back online and onto Facebook though, I am immediately hit by all the posts about Paris, and about other unreported unnoticed attacks in Beirut, Baghdad, Syria and everywhere else in the world. And I am overwhelmed.

I feel overwhelmed by humanity, by humans. I went into London on Friday to meet some people, and as soon as I got out of the train station, I felt overwhelmed. By all the people. I looked at all the faces passing me on the street, about their stories, possible preoccupations, emotions. Everyone has a story to tell; you can't judge too quickly. Living in cities is so easily desensitising. You stop treating people as individuals, you see them as part of the scenery, or part of a category. Like the homeless on the streets. The banker-type. The tourist. Etc. I don't think I ever realised properly how flippantly we treat people in cities, having grown up in one. I guess being at Silwood was just that much more isolating (I'm interacting, seeing, walking past with the same few people everyday, no more than 50 probably), that going into the city after about 2 weeks, it was just too much, my brain was going into overdrive. 

While outdoors though, my mind was a blank. It was just so nice and peaceful and calming to be out there, without any external pressures. It's hard to even fathom the horrors that are going on. I thought, perhaps people wouldn't be so unhappy and violent if they spent more time outdoors. But then, if people don't even have basic comfort and security, being outdoors would be more of a threat and a fear. I guess I say what I say cos I'm in a position of luxury and privilege. I feel like there is nothing much I can do, physically, about all the wrongs that go on in the world. The only thing I can do is to pray. For those who died in the attacks, their families, and perhaps especially for those who perpetrate such atrocious acts, that they will stop. 

I know, but I just don't understand this world we currently live in, I don't understand the humans. I am naively still hoping for world peace one day, but meanwhile I am praying for humanity. For lives lost and lives still present.

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